When your taking care of everyone else, how do you find time to care for yourself?

  • I am now taking care of my 87 yr old mom who can no longer live by herself. I'm only 41 yrs. old and really want to live my life to the fullest and get out and do things. I am very active and love to walk and jog. I have little freedom anymore and am adjusting to my moms schedule. There is little time for me anymore. I am also getting groceries, making pharmacy runs and making runs to doctor appts. for my 81 yr old aunt and uncle. I also have my own family, and it feels like everyone else is more important than me. Since my mom moved in I am starting to binge more often than usual and i have gained 5 lbs already. If I have 1 min to spare it is to shove as much food in my face as possible. It's like my little piece of pleasure that i get. I worked so hard(as everyone else does)to lose the weight I lost and I maintained it for 7 mo. I can't let this beat me! I try talking some sense into myself, but I don't listen to my thoughts until I hit the 109lb. mark, then i start to get worried and get back to watching my calorie intake.( I do this over and over again) I know 109 doesn't sound too bad to most people, but if your most comfortable being 104lbs and all of a sudden you weigh 109 lbs, it's scary. You can see yourself creeping back up to your old 173lbs. I used to binge once a week and now it's like two or three times a week. I'm sick of fighting the urge to eat everything under the sun until i feel sick, bloated ,lazy, and swollen and like crap! If there are any caregivers out there that know how to get some time for yourself and how to control the binging, please let me know. I'd love to hear everyones suggestions! Thanks chicks!
  • Have you considered respite care?
  • I just saw your post, I know it's been a few days. I don't really have any advice but I wanted to say hang in there! You sure have a lot going on in your life. I don't know how you could possibly balance so much and take care of yourself properly. Maybe NebraskaLady is right. Would you be able to get a little help somehow? You deserve a little time to yourself, at least a few minutes a day to regroup.
  • I want to remind you that when you were a helpless baby who took care of you ? Fed you, bathed you, rocked you to sleep. Somebody had to do all that for you. I am betting it was your mom. I would be willing to bet that your mother isn't too happy to rely on someone to do things for her that she is used to doing for herself. After my mother passed away I shed tears over the times "I was too busy" or I had things of my own to do or was just plain impatient at times. I try to remember that the day may come when I will need someone to care for me.
  • fruitlady, clearly I do not have the responsiblities you do. I do however, play the "single mom" role most of the time. My spouse travels most of the time. With having two babies in two years, I found myself struggling with balance. I gained weight--during pregnancy and AFTER pregnancy. I finally reached a breaking point and put myself on TOP of the heap of stuff that had to get done. I find now that once I take care of myself, I so much more able to do for everyone else in my life that so richly deserves my very best.
  • Thanks everyone, I really appreciate everyone's help. I just need to get used to this big change in my life, I was not prepared for this much responsibility. I have found time to take a walk while my mom is sleeping in the morning. It's really cold, but it feels like therapy to me, just to take time for myself. I do feel better and more able to get through difficult situations. Thanks!
  • So my advice is simple. look for some Senior services in the area, I did a quick google and there are some, look for transportation, shopping, dr visits because they can be free for seniors. Your Mother's Dr.'s office may be a resource as well. we have a senior senter a few towns over which is a great outlet for your mom and aunt and uncle. I will bet that they need some time away from you. AND you need to ask for help from family so you can have some time for yourself.

    The comment above about who took care of you is certainly relevant but when my kids were really little and even now that they are teens, I had to make some time for myself then too.

    I also you suggest you and your mom talk about how you need some time for you to keep active, walk the dog etc and how can you work this out.

    Stress is clearly a factor in Weight gain, I am sure you can do some problem solving with the family by having a family sit down and start by saying, I had no idea how hard this was going to be and I need some help to make this work for everyone.

    Good luck, I will be thinking about you!
  • L144s, thanks, I have no other family. My mom, aunt and uncle are all I have left, I have no other relatives. I will check into some services, but there is no money if it's something we have to pay for. Thanks again!
  • I hope you can find support you need.
  • Check out places like Visiting Nurses Association, Senior Services in your area , I don't know about your area but some places have day rooms where your mom could go and be in safe environment for a few hours. See if your city or county has a senior referral. I believe their are services available, also check your church, they may be able to offer some suggestions.