I couldn't stop eating - I ate until I was physically sick. I went back and forth between sugar, salt, carbs. I was even thinking that I cannot live in this body - that I would be better off if I was dead. This is how low I felt. (this was hard to say)
Of course, being obese is just a symptom of all the things I am not comfortable with that I've faced all through my life.
So...I will try again. I have even cleaned out the fridge and cupboards further.
I will make my plan and start again. I can't feel that badly anymore. I can't let my weight make me feel so badly - when I do have alot to live for.
There will always be holidays, parties, celebrations, sadness, stress, joy and more. I must learn to live with life and feelings and not use food as my everything associated with everything in life.
I have tools - planning, journaling, exercise, meditation, reading,the basics that help (aware eating, fork down between bites, no standing and eating,etc) and more. I need to be WILLING to turn to them.
Here we go...thanks for listening.