OT - boy thing..

  • Alright! I need some advice! I have a boyfriend, we've been together for 10 years, things are good! The usual fights, but nothing huge. We recently moved across the country and are working in the same store, he's the store assistant manager and I'm a dept assistant manager. So anyways, we have a new supervisor in the store, I really like him. He's friendly, outgoing, helpful. And he has really nice eyes! so I now have a little crush on him! How bad is it that I'd have a crush on him? Is this normal? I feel SOO guilty! And to make matters worse? He's flirting back! It's all harmless I think, he's got a girlfriend, and he really looks up to my bf at work.

    Basically I want to know how bad this is... or if I can stop feeling guilty and enjoy the little flirtations? Heelpppp me!! I feel like a giggly little 14 year old when he ignores everyone else and smiles at me.

    -Aimee
  • I think it depends on the amount of confidence you have within your relationship with your boyfriend. Would he be upset if you were flirting with someone else? would you be upset if he was doing it?
    Personally, I wouldn't mind my boyfriend flirting with someone else as long as I know its harmless. Some people would disagree, it all depends on you & your boyfriend. hope this helps
  • I have been there, it's normal to be attracted to other people while in a long term relationship as long as its strictly a crush. If it starts to interfere with your relationship with your boyfriend then changes might have to be made. I say enjoy the harmless flirtations, as long as thats all they are.
  • Everyone gets man crushes or girl crushes.. I actually am so comfortable in my relationship I tell my partner about them.. And we laugh and joke about it... It's perfectly natural to be attracted to other people.

    The one thing I would recomend is switch roles.. Pretend it was your bf that had a crush on a cute, smart, fun girl at work, and they were harmlessly flirting.. Would you be upset, worried, or completely comfortable??? Relationships are a two way street. So I think if you would be fine with your BF innocently flirting with a cute co-worker then continue on,, if not though you should probably distance yourself a bit. I always put things in perspective like this in my relationship..

    Just my thoughts...

    Niki
  • It can be harmless and it can be harmful. I think you just have to listen to your gut.
  • I think I have to agree with everything that has been said. As long as it's harmless, and it doesn't effect your relations with your bf. I had a crush on on of my co-workers for the longest time. So its nothing new.

    JUst really ask yourself, would you be jealous if your bf had a crush on a girl, who was pretty, funny, smart and outgoing How would you feel.

    but I think as long as you don't go out of that harmless crush zone your fine.
  • Thanks for the replies girls!!

    I do think the bf flirted at work in the past, but now that he's moved up to Assistant Store Manager, and we are new, so I think he's not doing that anymore. Also, I used to be super jealous in the past, so he definitely does NOT tell me that kind of stuff. This is my first little crush - and might be the first one flirting with me in nearly 10 years!

    The bf is good friends with the guy, and since he has a gf, I think I am not worried about it! It's not like I wanna rip off his clothes - just stare into his eyes! It feels innocent enough, so I'm going to enjoy it!

    Thanks everyone!! I realllllly appreciate it!

    -Aimee
  • Crushes are harmless. I'm an old married chick and I still have crushes from time to time. I typically tell my husband about them and we giggle over it. I think it's normal and healthy to have little crushes. Just keep it in perspective and know the line between flirting and having fun and emotional cheating. It's a pretty thin line.