Gosh, thankyou for all the great replies.
Quote:
I think I would find another friend, this one doesn't seem to be worth the aggravation.
Only sometimes is he not worth the aggro, and today is one of them; but then none of us is perfect, is what I come back to.
Quote:
He was rude, but hanging up on someone is more rude (in my opinion).
I never thought of it as rude, so that's interesting. Inept, yes, because I don't know how to to state my case when someone's being a pig, without crying.
Quote:
He was definitely unsympathetic. I don't think anyone could argue with that. But I don't think multiple hang ups were necessary either. Hmmm. If you value his friendship and I think you do, I would call him and apologize for your response to his unsympathetic tone.
I have lots of friends. And even my nearest and dearest friends, the ones that I talk to several times a week and we are as close as can be, well they all do something that annoys me every now and then. As I'm certain I do things to annoy them at times. If I didn't overlook those things, then I'd have no friends. I've come to accept this.
I kind of cling to the 2nd hang up, on the basis of always hanging up on someone who uses the f. word at me! I do value his friendship but, at the same time, it always feels like me who has to put up with occasional bad behaviour and lack of sympathy from him, while I always give him the sympathy he asks for, when he does. Hm.
Quote:
You gotta ask yourself: Why are you in this friendship? What do you want from it? Are you likely to get it? And if you feel disrespected it in, why do you keep going back?
Oh boy! good one! We used to work together, just a team of 2. It didn't work too well because although we get on very well (when we do), he couldn't cope with the fact that we were meant to be equals, and was always 'in charge', which got wearing. However, once I'd left, we rang, emailed, met and eventually began going on holiday together. No strings. I've moved a long way. He's someone that many people are in awe of, the world is littered with women who've thrown themselves at him and missed (just not that interested). So yes, there was a huge inner kudos at having him as a friend. I've reflected over the years - because it would be really bad of me to claim to be his friend when really he was just a trophy - and over the years, a real friendship has developed. I do (look out, here comes a deep inner thought) often feel like the junior partner, the sidekick, the small wheel on the pennyfarthing but I'm not able to say whether *I* impose that or he. I have an inner conviction, in every human relationship, of not being good enough. No, counselling didn't help either. hm.
Quote:
Meanwhile, you could turn your attention elsewhere, toward people who are more understanding and less self-centered.
No, no 'benefits' involved! I suppose, even setting aside whether I like him or not, there's fear of there being nobody. It just isn't that easy making new friends, it truly isn't. and yes, I do hear how unhealthy that sounds....
Thankyou all for giving me food for thought - non calorific.