Somebody give me a kick in the butt. I actually had a moment today where I thought, "I wish I was still fat." Why? Because then I could eat candy bars, ice cream, and cake whenever I felt like it. I could eat pizza if I wanted it. I could eat at a restaurant every night of the week, eat giant steaks, keep gallons of ice cream in my freezer, munch on crackers and cheese, buy that round of baked brie en croute I keep eyeing at the grocery store, etc., and lay on my butt all day. All of that without feeling guilty.
Because you know? One mini hershey bar every few weeks is just not the same as eating a candy bar whenever I feel like having one. A kiddie scoop of ice cream every few weeks is not the same as getting a big bowl out of my freezer whenever inspiration strikes.
I am sick and tired of trying to lose weight. I don't have the energy or motivation to starve myself on a 1200 calorie diet, which looks like it is what would be necessary for me to lose any of these 15 lbs I've been stuck with the past year.
The most frustrating thing is that I know if I could get rid of these 15 lbs, I would have no trouble maintaining at my goal weight. I maintained at goal weight with no problems right up until my thyroid got screwed up. I know how to eat for maintenance. I'm comfortable with that. It's just that in order to lose I feel like I'd have to take some drastic measures and I don't have the motivation for it right now. Not just right now, I don't feel like I'd ever want to go on a very low-cal diet again. I keep thinking, there has to be some other way. But I don't think there is.