Why is everyone so nice??? I've been getting into these ruts lately where I'm just "tired" of being good. So I read here in hopes to get re-motivated, and it helps 99% of the time. I'm still losing weekly, although it is much slower and sometimes daunting.
Sooo, I'm reading along and then I find what I'm looking for, a post from a fellow foodie coming clean about a binge, confession time, accountability, or what ever you want to call it. After several pats on the back, and a "we are all human" speech, all is well, and the binge is "forgiven". Yeah...it's the excuse I've been searching for to head for the pantry...(well this time it was the kids Valentine's candy they were bombarded with at school and church.
I went so long without ever cheating, and now since the holidays it has happened 5 or 6 times. I don't want a licence to binge, I want someone to say, "What in the h*ll are you doing? STOP IT!!!" Though of course, I NEVER ASK FOR HELP before I blow it. It's like my mind is made up and of course like the old days I'm ALWAYS alone in the house. (Another bad habit not cured yet)
Yesterday my husband came home with a bouquet of flowers and I felt so ashamed. I told him I didn't deserve them and about eating approx 1500 calories just in candy. (not including my calories from my "healthy" meals.) He's so sweet and assures me I do, but I feel like I failed him, our family, myself.
Thankfully my binges have been controlled, and I have actually counted the calories and stayed below what I used to consume daily...but still it feels like I'm slipping, and haven't learned anything from all the hard work I put into becoming healthy. It scares the heck out of me....I haven't even reached my "overweight" goal of 175 yet and I'm already screwing up.
I'm done whining