Well friends. Again I have to apologize for not responding to everyone but I have had one of the luckiest and unluckiest day.
I may be MIA for a few days. But then again... I may be here often to just talk about what I am going through.
I find it strange how I mentioned that we should share phone numbers because ... God forbid ... we could die and no one would know what happened to us.
Well... today I almost did.
I was driving 35-40 miles per hour and had a HEAD ON collision with a large Yukon or some type of SUV.
My husband and I are very very lucky to be alive. It sure has made a believer out of me on the use of seat belts. If you don't wear one....
START !!! It saved our lives today. That and duel air bags.
A young 15 year old driver with only his permit "attempted" to make a left hand turn in front of us. He was cutting across instead of a normal turn I guess... because we hit head on.
My husband had to go to the hospital. He was treated and released. I still can't believe how fortunate we are. My car is probably totaled. It is funny to say how lucky we are... when you are involved in that serious of a wreck... but there is no other way to see it.
I guess "blessed" is a better word.
My husband looks like someone hit him in the face with a 2x4. We thought his nose was broken... and his back is really bad. We are both bruised up pretty bad. I feel guilty even mentioning my aches and pains when you see how bad my husband is. He is REALLY going to be hurting tomorrow and the next week for that matter.
No one in the other car was hurt either. Thank you God.!!
Even though the wreck was not my fault .... I still feel bad.
And if someone had been seriously hurt... I don't know how I could cope.
I still have not cried.... but I feel it all welled up inside.
I don't feel as bad about what happened ...as I feel about what COULD HAVE happened.
So many people are killed in car wrecks everyday. We hit so HARD.
You may have to listen to me whine about my injuries... because I feel so guilty whining around my family when my husband was hurt so much worse. I kind of feel like... "what do you have to whine about... look at dad".
I KNOW they would "never" say that to me... but it is still how I "feel".
Maybe it is guilt because I was driving. I don't know. Maybe I am afraid people will think I am self centered if I talk about my pain when he is worst.
I just don't know... I only know.... I will probably be using all of you as my shoulder to cry on. And yes.... I am now crying for the first time.
That is probably a good thing... I don't know that either. LOL
For a darn "know it all"... I don't know much tonight.
I do want to share one more thing... and I PRAY that it remains true tomorrow.
I have NOT eaten over it. When we finally go home from the hospital a little after 9pm we still had not eaten dinner. I ate an on program light meal. I drank my water... and when I accidentally found a package of chocolate frosting by mistake and had that moment thought "gee..
chocolate... that would taste GOOD".... I immediately said
"NO". I stuffed it back into the back of the cabinet and it still sits there as I type.
Ladies... I
WANT to stay on program. I want it bad.
And I pray thanks that I had the courage to not use food as a sedative tonight.
I did not overeat... I did not eat that container of chocolate frosting. And best of all... I am GRATEFUL for that progress.
Well friends.... I am not going to feel guilty for not reading nor responding tonight.
I am going to be grateful for my cyber friends/family who will give me time to heal the emotional wounds I received tonight as well as the physical ones.
Seems funny to write "emotional wounds" ... but I do feel my emotions are bruised just as bad as my body. This has been a very traumatic day.
LOL...Before the wreck I was going to write about all my other "traumatic" events in my life the last two days ... but they seem so trivial now.
Facing what you see as your death ... does change your attitude about a lot of things.
But one thing it did not change... and that is my "appreciation" and "love" for all of you.