What are we really hungry for?
The Non-Diet Approach, April 25, 2002

Lose weight without dieting? HOW?!?!

By getting to the root of why you overeat in the first place! "Why Weight," written by Geneen Roth, is a non-diet book that contains exercises designed to help compulsive eaters learn how to stop using food as a substitute for handling difficult emotions or situations. You'll also learn how to enjoy eating and still lose weight naturally. This program offers reassuring guidelines on:

-- kicking the scale-watching habit forever
-- learning to say no
-- discovering other pleasures besides food
-- learning the difference between physical and emotional hunger
-- listening to and trusting your body's hunger and fullness signals

Each week at least one exercise will be posted and you are encouraged to share your answers, thoughts, etc..

Please share any insight, ideas, articles or other information that you may have.

Join us in Breaking Free from Compulsive Eating!

Exercise 60: One birthday is not enough

If today were your birthday:

1. What would you do?




2. With whom would you celebrate?



3. What would you ask for?



4. What would you give yourself?


Why not live as if today is your birthday?
Why not live as if every day is your birthday?

Why not?

Oh, dear! I honestly hate birthdays, so I'm not sure my answers to this will have a positive tone. But, since my actual birthday is eight months away, I can afford to speculate:

Exercise 60: One birthday is not enough

If today were your birthday:

1. What would you do?

I'd probably sit in the bathtub for hours, then go hiking and think gloomy thoughts.

2. With whom would you celebrate?

Old Dog. The cat would likely sit in, too.

3. What would you ask for?

Peace and another year.

4. What would you give yourself?

The hike.

Why not live as if today is your birthday?
Why not live as if every day is your birthday?

Why not?

In a sense, every day is a birthday because it's a chance to start over. No one knows how many chances there are in a given lifetime, so we'd best take them as they come.

Why not?Yeeesssh. The internal conflict between the hypothetical perfect birthday and the hypothetical realistic birthday. I think I'll do both, starting with the realistic one and then moving on to the perfect one.

Exercise 60: One birthday is not enough

If today were your birthday:

1. What would you do?

I would wake up at about 5:45, have tea and open the gift from DH. Either go for a walk or go to the gym. Then I would probably work. The truth is that I'm in a depressed mental state and nothing sounds like fun for me. DH would probably cook dinner tonight and we would watch a movie, although if I said I'd like to go out he would likely agree.


2. With whom would you celebrate?

My mother and sisters might get together for cake and ice cream.

3. What would you ask for?

A piece of furniture, maybe a bedside table.

4. What would you give yourself?

Maybe a long brooding stroll through the woods and around the harbour. I thought nothing appealed to me, but that actually sounds good.

Why not live as if today is your birthday?
Why not live as if every day is your birthday?

Hmmm. Well, I don't think I want to have cake and ice cream every day -- I really like it, but that might be a bit much. I get the point, though. I'm denying myself a lot of things and experiences that would enhance my life, even though I could easily have a lot of them. You know what? I'm going to get dressed and go for a long, brooding walk through the woods and around the harbour.

xo
babette

1. What would you do?
I would get up, meditate, do Yoga, have fruit for breakfast, and spend the day with family outside in nature talking and laughing. In the evening I would go out for more talking and laughing with friends.

2. With whom would you celebrate?
Oops, answered that in number 1.


3. What would you ask for?
More time...health, to be wiser


4. What would you give yourself?
Freedom to love unconditionally, openly - enjoy this life more.

At least that is what I would like to do for TODAY'S birthday.

And, yes Crone everyday is another chance a birth day....but most of waste so much time NOT seeing it that way. Hating Monday's - waiting for Friday's...Okay I think we here on this thread should start an accountability that we TRY to make the most of each day and make that day, if not happy, at least a content day....To keep this idea in the front of my brain I will post "something" each day - hmmm stuck on what but have to go to work now so will come up with some way for me to be accountable to make each day MORE fulfilling than I have been.

Sorry you are depressed, Babette but I liked your birthday....being with your Mom and sisters sounds like perfection to me. My sisters live far away and I miss them all the time. I only see then once a year and we have SO much fun together. My Mom died when I was 18 and my life changed forever. I still miss her terribly after 30 years. AND it sounds like you have a loving hubby. Well, I feel better reading about your life....thanks.

Exercise 60: One birthday is not enough

If today were your birthday:

1. What would you do?
I would probably be crying because that happens on every birthday. But I am going to be positive and say that I am crying happy tears. I would go to a club with all my friends and party it up. I would also love to go on a shopping spree. I want some new clothes.

2. With whom would you celebrate?
Well my friends and family. In this fantasy birthday, my boyfriend picks me up aand takes me to dinner and then some place really romantic.

3. What would you ask for?
JEWELERY
4. What would you give yourself?

A day off from school and work.

Why not live as if today is your birthday?
Why not live as if every day is your birthday?

Why not?

On this theme…a friends Dad died last Saturday, suddenly, walking along and boom…hit the ground, dead. I couldn’t help but think today that just one week ago he was planning his Saturday – a trip to an auction with his wife.

We know our lives can end quickly but don’t LIVE our lives as if we know that.

I have decided I need to do one thing each day that I love. This won't be that difficult since "thing's I love" include watching a program I like, posting here, reading....I just have to do what I love and recognize it as such.

LLB: An alternative manner of thought is to suspend reality and live as though we knew we could never die. If life were never-ending we'd almost have to deal with problems, lose the weight, get healthy, make peace with our enemies and generally do whatever we had to do to make that eternal life bearable and even enjoyable. We'd have to stabilize and find peace, otherwise we'd go crazy ... and there'd be time to do either.

Animals have a natural ability to believe their lives are unending. For them, each moment is a lifetime and they have no reason to think they are mortal. They have the gift of immortality. Humans have to work to make this paradigm shift and they can do it only as a working hypothesis; always in the back of the mind is the thought that it's all pointless because they'll die anyway. For me, this leads to a feeling of everything being temporary, so ... well, why not have that candy, dulce de leche milk, six extra cans of vanilla slimfast ... why not stay up all night and sleep all day and skip my workouts ... why not succumb to negativity and depression ... why not give up?

So, for me, the trick is not to live each day as if it's my last, but to live it fully engaged and hopeful for the future ... as if it's my first.

What a concept, Crone! Anti-existentialism -- I LOVE it! Very valid and natural -- and, since we don't really know at all what happens when we die, a really good way to look at things. I often think that we'd be better if we could regain some of our pre-conscious mentality. But I've always felt that it was necessary to constantly maintain an awareness of mortality to frame our lives. Hmmm. I think I may alter my opinion...

I'm going to work with this. I must say, it makes me feel better instantly. Thanks!



xo
babette

Just came across this looking for quotations for a birthday card (this is NOT a contender!)

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.

Samuel Johnson

Okay, now i'm going to try for the perfect one.

Exercise 60: One birthday is not enough

If today were your birthday:

1. What would you do?

I would wake up at about 6:30, drink frothy cappuccino from a big beautiful bowl and journal and think peaceful thoughts. Go for a run around the park and through the woods down to the harbour, do Chi Gung and Tai Chi on the woodland path facing the water (did i mention it's warm and sunny? (HA! It's snowing here and looks like Christmas!). Go home for a soak in the jacuzzi with rose-scented bubbles. Walk with DH to a cafe on the waterfront, have a leisurely breakfast, read the papers and do the cryptic puzzle together. Take in a yoga class and then have lunch with my mom and sisters. Go to the beach in the afternoon with my most frolicsome sister and my son. Go home and shower and relax on the deck with DH a gin and tonic. Have all my nearest and dearest to the house for a big party, and then all going out dancing to a good local band together. Finish the night with a walk home around the harbour, under the full moon.


2. With whom would you celebrate?

Hmmm... see above.

3. What would you ask for?

A piece of furniture, maybe a bedside table.

4. What would you give yourself?

I would sign up for a painting class.

Why not live as if today is your birthday?
Why not live as if every day is your birthday?

Well, there is that pesky need to make a living that interferes, but I do see how I could incorporate elements of the perfect birthday into my life.

Crone, I don't think that your suggestion amounts to a suspension of reality, but more of a different, and equally valid, perspective.

xo
babette

Hi! I wanted to get in on this before it goes to the bottom of the list. I need the inspiration--I have a birthhday coming up in May!

Early in the morning I would hike my favorite 12 mile loop in the mountains with my friends and no sauntering--this is a workout! And after that, back to my house for a lunch that I'd cleverly prepared ahead of time. Then my pals would give me foot massages and tell me what they love about me as their gift to me. Ah, priceless!

One thing I want to get for myself is a tiara. Just for fun, sort of, also to wear it as a sign for my husband when I'm feeling tender and need to be treated like a queen I'm not kidding--I've wanted it for awhile and it may be time to get it!