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Originally Posted by Kataclismic
Schu, I can relate and appreciate what you are saying. I don't think the "boys will be boys" mentality is what's going on here, rather an acceptance that males react/act differently than females. Men are highly competitive and react when they percive a threat. It's not about controlling the behavior, because it is not as simple as that, but about opening the lines of communication here. Something like, "Babe, I get what you are saying about setting oneself up for failure by maintaining too strict a diet, and I totally agree with you. For me, I like to plan my meals, and what I ordered is what I planned." Maybe they can arrange a meal out together where they can both enjoy a splurge. But ultimately, he's feeling threatened and how he's acting is not abnormal. Perhaps he doesn't have the tools to cope with his feelings, because he's always felt secure in his relationship...
I was trying to come up with how to say it, but this is perfect. My husband doesn't mind me losing weight or anything UNTIL he gets a look at my meals.
He's in excellent shape... never ever struggled with his weight. Army S.F., and roundabouts 6'5" and a *very* lean, muscular 235lbs. He seriously has to consume about 8,000-12,000 cals a day just to maintain his weight and he honestly doesn't understand. What I eat compared to what he eats looks like a starvation diet, but he doesn't get that i'm not lugging around tree trunks for arms and legs! I don't need five pieces of texas toast, a dozen eggs and an entire package of turkey bacon to 'tide me over' until lunch. He's not being unsupportive, he's worried that i've totally lost my marbles and that i'm potentially hurting myself.
He was perfectly fine after I explained it to him, and even though when he asks me what I had for breakfast/lunch/dinner/whatever he still sighs sometimes and I can tell he's concerned, he's getting better.
Anti, the other ladies are right. Once you address his concerns and assure him that everything will be fine he'll get over it. I don't think he's trying to discourage you or be disrespectful, he just doesn't understand why you're doing it and it's concerning to him. You have to break it down Barney style for them sometimes.