Soooooooo, in addition to having a VERY slow go with weight loss lately (i've only lost 1 LB in three weeks), I'm having major friend drama.
I have a couple close groups of friends, and one friend (a guy), spans both of these groups. I've known him for over three years now, and we are really great pals. I know it's kinda weird to claim a guy as a best friend, especially when you're dating someone else, but I do. He has told me over and over how important our friendship is to him and how much he enjoys hanging out with me.
So, that's a little background, but here's some more: two other important characters in this tale of woe. A girl that I met at work a couple years back who I've become absolutely awesome pals with, and another girl from that same job who I work with now at a different job (I referred her to my current workplace and she got hired). The girl I currently work with, let's call her "Rachel", is thinnish, considers herself very attractive and holds herself in extremely high regard (read: huge ego). I tend to gravitate toward modesty, but since we share the mutual friendship of Girl A ("Sarah"), we became friends. But over the past year of working together, there has definitely been an overload for me. She has no problem telling me that I look fat or I shouldn't be wearing those shoes or my car is a piece of junk. She says stupid, pointless, insulting things constantly, but normally I just considered the source and let it roll off.
[If you're still reading this, you get an imaginary gold star!!! ]
So, about a month ago, while Rachel, Sarah, and one of Sarah's out of town friends were at lunch, Rachel made a comment that turned out to be the final straw for me. We were all talking about people who drop off the face of the earth when they start dating someone, and how we can't stand it. She attacked me mid-conversation, for no reason, saying that she "can't understand" my relationship and "there's something wrong with you" just because my boyfriend has an EXTREMELY busy schedule between work and school and sometimes I only see him a couple times a week. I found this highly embarrassing but didn't want to lose my cool in front of Sarah's friend from out of town, so I confronted Rachel about it at work the following day. All I wanted was an apology, but instead I got a defense of what she had said. "Don't ask for my advice if you don't want it." Umm, I wasn't asking for ANY advice, a##!
Sooooo, here's where my guy friend comes in. He and Rachel have a history of hating eachother. She constantly *****ed about how she couldn't stand to be around him, how she thought he was so unattractive, etc. So I find out from Sarah about a week after I stopped talking to Rachel that Rachel and my guy friend had been "hanging out" on a few occasions.
This infuriated me.
So I confronted him about it, and he said that it has nothing to do with loyalty to me, and just because Rachel and I aren't speaking doesn't mean he can't hang out with her (i'm still trying to gauge whether "hanging out" means as friends, hooking up, dating...). I know I might be sounding a bit possessive, but since they had absolutely no established friendship prior to our argument/friendship breakup, is it right for him to be doing this? Obviously he's not my boyfriend, and I have no right to tell him what to do. It just hurts me SO BADLY, and feels like such a betrayal.
He retorts that "Sarah still hangs out with Rachel. Why aren't you mad at Sarah? Why am I the only one who's not being loyal?" The differences abound: she's not trying to date/hook up with Rachel, and Rachel and Sarah were friends before I even knew Rachel. Even though Sarah is a very close friend, I wouldn't expect her to take sides. But with him, it's different.
Or is it? Am I being crazy? As 8th grade as this all sounds, it has literally been making me sick. I don't want to lose my entire group of friends over this, but I really can't stand being around him now knowing that he's associating with her. He said that he doesn't want our friendship to end, but he's not going to stop hanging out with her, and it'll be on me if I can't handle it.
I'm so sad.