Thanks so much everyone for all the support. Today marks 1 full week without a single, solitary puff of smoke. I am very happy. I don't want to feel too confident, but I also don't want to feel like I can't do this. Cause, I am doing this. I will do this. There is no other option.
gail, Yes, my shame was horrible because I had quit for so long and then picked back up the habit. This time, I truly do know that I can't "occasionally smoke" and keep from being full-fledged addicted.
bargoo, when I first started back smoking, I thought I'd choke to death. It was more like a challenge to see if I could smoke. Bad idea, I found that after a few coughing fits that I could smoke just fine. (and be totally addicted again). I guess it's like a former alcoholic when they give in and start drinking again. They probably then have a constant desire for alcohol again.