Last night I went out to dinner with a friend. She's a teeny-tiny little thing. I have recently had a couple of scuffles with her over food, where she was insinuating that I was trying to force her to eat more than she wanted (which I have never done and would never do, because I grew up with that and make a point to not do it to others). I recently confronted her on her comments and asked her to point out when I have ever done that to her directly or indirectly.
Last night made me really angry.
We were at a sushi boat restaurant, where you sit at a counter and little boats of sushi float by. You take the plates you want.
Throughout the eating, I noticed that my friend was paying close attention to how many plates I took. When I stopped taking plates, she asked several times if I was done already? At first I said I'm not sure yet, and the truth is I said it to see if she would continue asking.
Then she made some comment about me eating less than her in a weirdly disapproving and "concerned" way, and said she still wanted more--but the tone was that she couldn't believe she could possibly be eating more than me. I firmly asked her why how much I ate mattered to her. She mumbled something in response that made no sense, but she clearly got the message.
I am really angry at realizing that I am the fat friend that she could compare herself against to feel better. It's making her uncomfortable that I am breaking out of my role. I'm upset because I didn't know I was in that role. Also, it seems to me that she is the one who was trying to get me to eat all this time, not the other way around.