Ok, I have come to the decision that I need help. I mean real help, like therapy. I can't do this. I know what to do, and I know it works and I have all the motivation anyone could need, but I'll follow it for a few days and then I'm off for a few days and so on. I try so hard to set myself up for success, I do charts and have people around me "help", bunches of stuff. Yet today, I found myself in the kitchen at work, standing by the cookie plate that was out for the students, just eating them, hand over fist. I stopped and thought, somethings wrong, I really need to go see someone.

I think it's in my Gene's. My father and both my grandmothers were alcholics, so I think that's were I get the addiction thing, only my problem isn't alchohol, it's food.

So, my dear friends, where do I go to get some help? I don't know where to start. (Been to overeaters anamymous - didn't like it)

Sandi, I am so sorry. I went on a binge a couple of weeks ago that lasted almost an entire week. I started w/ 1 cookie. Before I knew it, I was driving through McDonalds. I had chocolate mochas, more cookies ... you name it. Apparently for some of us, once you start, it seems impossible to stop yourself. Maybe the trick is to be very conscious of it, and to stop ourselves before we start the cycle. Like yesterday, I really wanted something that had a lot of sugar in it, and I reminded myself that if I ate that, it would be at least 2 days before I felt normal again... and chances are I would go on another binge --- and this one might last more than a week.

I might have misunderstood you. Are you saying you were eating without thinking? That you didn't realize you were eating the cookies until you looked down? I do that sometimes too, for example with smoking, and I really don't have an answer for that one. It is too bad the cookies are in a place where you work. That has to make it doubly hard.

Right now I am on this repititious diet for the next 2 weeks. It kinda takes the cheating thought out of it. For example, all I can have today is this one dish. I have to spread it out for the entire day. So, mentally, I don't have to think about it. I know I am only going to have it and I haven't been tempted to eat anything else. Of course, this is just the first day. It might not work longterm for you.

Another thought is writing down exactly when and what you are going to eat and have it prepared. And make a promise that that is all you will have, and keep it. You do have the will power to keep it. We all do. Keep the promise, and by the fourth day, when you tend to start cheating, don't let yourself ruin your successful run. 3 days OP!! Wow. That would be good, but 6 or 9 would feel so much better.

Sorry, I don't really know what to say, but I hate seeing how you are feeling right now because we have all been there. I know you and I are going to do this together.

Amy

By the way, I noticed you have lost 29 lbs out of the 176 you want to lose (311-135). You are 16.5% of the way to your goal. And when you get to 35 lbs (which isn't that far away), you will be at 19.9% of your goal. It isn't that far away.

I want to share with you something a coworker printed off for me which she got from another forum site:

Sandi...
Dont fret about what you did yesterday.
Now and today is the START of a whole
new day for you. You should bring in
several lil baggies with you to work
filled with grapes, apple slices, or maybe
an orange, or some crackers & cheese,
tea bags etc. This way as soon as your
eyes start wandering over the to
cookie tray, you can say to yourself...
hey, I've got something else here.

Amata....that was great of you to think
in percentages how far Sandi has already
come....good tactic.

And thanks for the words of wisdom on
who we are today.

Amy & Susan - Thanks so much for responding so quickly. The % was inspiring and the quote was awesome. I'll get inspired, but it fades quickly.

I have tried so much of what you have suggested. I've written it down, brought healthy snacks, but it only lasts a little while. I need to change who I am and how I feel. I really think that I need to go talk with someone and figure out how to stop this forever. Has anyone ever been to a therapist for compulsive overeating?

Sandi,

I wish I knew what to say to you right now, because I know how bad you are hurting. At this point in time, I don't feel like I am in a position to offer advice because I haven't been able to take my own for awhile, if you know what I mean. But I did want to let you know that you aren't alone, and that is the hardest thing to realize sometimes. I know that there have been a lot of times that you were there for me with a kind word or advice. You are a very special person, and I hope you realize that.

In the meantime, do what you have to do for yourself. If you think therapy is the answer, then go for it. Couldn't hurt, and you may come out the better for it. Do what it takes to make you feel better, because in the end you are the only one who can take that step. But we will all be here to hold your hand when you do.

Finally (boy, have I always been this long winded?), remember that you made a mistake with the cookies. It was a moment in time, but now it has past. You have to take each moment as it comes. Think of all the times in the past when you DIDN'T give in to the bad stuff. You had moment when you weren't thinking of what you were eating, but think of all the times when you were thinking and you made a conscieous decision not to eat the bad stuff. And there must have been a lot of them, because the 29 lbs you have lost didn't fall off by themselves!

You are a good person, and we all believe in you. Hang in there!

HUGS!

M'Chelle

Sandi, I completely understand what you are saying, I have been having similar problems! I will do good for a while, then all of a sudden, I am eating and sometimes I am not even sure how or when I started! I have never been to therapy for overeating, but, especially, if you are an emotional or stress eater, it would probably help. It would at least help you to find triggers for the binges, and maybe help you find out why you are overweight and help you figure out what steps you can take to stop the destructive patterns. Please hang in there, and remember that you have already lost 29lbs, so you are already ahead of the game! Let us know what you decide to do.

Nicole

Sandi... wow, just reading your message evoked so many strong emotions in me. I know what you’re going through there… I fight it every single day… and it gets incredibly frustrating.

Personally, I think therapy can be a very helpful thing and a way you can feel like you’re bringing some measure of control into a situation where you feel you have none. I went to a therapist for a while when my marriage was falling apart, and it helped me get through some really tough stuff. Sometimes it really helps to have a completely objective listener... someone you're not related to or know in any social context. (One thing… just as a side note… I found that I was more comfortable with a female therapist as opposed to a male one. That’s just what worked best for me. You may feel differently.)

And, even now, I’m going to a deep breathing seminar with some friends to help develop some further coping skills. It may sound kind of goofy… a bunch of grown-ups on the floor, taking deep cleansing breaths. But I figure, what the heck… if it works… if it helps lower the stress level in my life in a positive way… then good… sign me up.

Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is don’t be afraid to check into it if you’re interested, cause it just might help.

{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

Kath