This morning I met with a group of ladies in a setting that was not a meeting, and they are not in program. They cross talked, interrupted each other (and me!), did not listen, did not stay on focus, and generally drove me up the wall.

I walked out of there with some serious resentments. As soon as I was outside and could see my car, my first thought was to get something to eat.

I wanted to eat because I resented that these people didn't follow the rules that I had in my head. They weren't doing it MY WAY! How dare them!!

Ha.

I really hate this disease.

I didn't eat. I went to a meeting, and there it became clear that what I was feeling was resentful.

I don't have control over how other people behave, but I do have the ability to work on what I do with my feelings.

I can learn from today, and be better prepared for next week. I can start the time together with a request that we don't interrupt each other, and that we give everyone a chance to speak. (I'll work those meeting rules in one way or another!!!)

Hi Marny,
I know exactly what you are talking about. This disease affects us emotionally, spiritually and physically as I know you know all too well. When you said you wanted to eat as soon as you saw your car I could really relate. I did sooooooooooo much "dining" in my car where I thought no one could see me.
You did a fantastic job not eating. You continue to inspire me.
Hugs, Bumps

You help me so much and I thank you with all my heart. I love to ‘listen and learn’ about the connection between resentments and food. The disease of COE is so huge in me that I need every reminder I can get about how vigilant I need to be.

The AA big book is very very emphatic around step 4 and how ‘resentments are the number one offender’. I used to think that was over the top, but not any more. Today I really do believe that resentments have the power to kill me.

Marny, you come across as being so happy, joyous, free and generous of spirit. And yet, you share so honestly about being prone to resentment. OA works for you – and that is so wonderfully obvious. Thank you for continuing to share your experience, strength and hope.

Thanks guys for your support. The feelings did pass by the next morning thankfully. I found it really interesting that at the meeting that day, many people were talking about the connection of resentments and wanting to eat!

My God takes care of me!

Searsha- you are so great at pointing out my strengths. Thank you for cheering me on. Your words boost me up.