I’m invisible!

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  • I’ve been MIA for over a month now and my scale shows it! But yesterday I had a turning point when I stood in line for butterfly fries at the Yellow Daisy Festival…the man working the counter looked past me not once, but three times to take the orders for people behind me before he “realized” that I was waiting in line. I’ve always thought that overweight people are sometimes invisible and apparently yesterday was one of those times for me. (Either that, or the man correctly thought that I didn’t need anything to eat…especially greasy fries!) I am officially tired of being overlooked because of my weight so I am back and I am focused!

    Now I’m off to catch up on posts.
  • I hate that feeling of being invisible. I feel that way a lot, like I'm totally forgetable. As I've lost weight it has gone down a bit, but I think that I am just someone that blends well. Welcome back and good luck!
  • I know that feeling and it's no fun. I'm glad you found your turning point and came back, though! You've already made such amazing progress.
  • Its so good to see you back here!
  • It's so great to see all of these people coming back! Hope you didn't let that guy get you down. I've certainly been there, although I think that I would have said something the first time he overlooked me - but that's just a recent skill that I've learned...
  • I've felt invisible a lot, which is saying something being both fat AND a 6 ft tall woman. In some ways I have worked hard to blend in. My clothes are shapeless and plain. I'm more likely to be a wallflower than in the middle of things having fun. Add all that to the very real phenomenon of the "fat cloak of invisibility" and I get overlooked a good bit. I do think, at least for me, that I make it easy for people to look through me rather than at me, but I don't doubt it would happen even if I was more extroverted than I am.

    I've been fat and thin as an adult (fat a lot longer, but thin long enough to make the comparison). As a thin person, instead of being pleased that I was now getting a lot of positive attention, it made me sad. Where were all those people when I was fat? Why did I not get doors held for me, smiles from strangers, or more helpful service when I was just as friendly and quick with a smile as I was when I was fat? Why did my friends come out of the woodwork to set me up with men when I was thin and not once when I've been fat? I guess no one ever said being fat was fun.
  • Welcome back. Sorry about the crazy man that made you feel invisible. You are not invisible!! UGH!! I hate when people think because someone is overweight that they are less than anyone else. You can do this, each day is a new one. Good luck.
  • Interesting... I have felt that feeling and been really outraged by it ... but now that I think about it, becoming invisible is sort of why I became fat to begin with.. so people wouldn't pay attention to me.

    Funny how when you get what you want you realize it isn't what you want after all...

    anyway - welcome back!
  • Thanks for all the replies! It's selfish of me, but there is a part of me that feels better knowing that others out there sometimes feel this way also.

    Quote:
    becoming invisible is sort of why I became fat to begin with.. so people wouldn't pay attention to me
    WOW! I knew that a big part of me became fat because of my fear of failure, but I this had never really crossed my mind. But now that you mention it, this applies to me also.
  • I too have had that feeling of being invisible. It always bothered the heck out of me. People would pass me by, overlook me and just totally ignore me. I used to wonder how anyone could possibly miss me, I was so incredibly wide at 287 lbs. I felt that I stood out so much - and yet I would go unnoticed so often. Creepy feeling.

    But boy, I'm thinking Lizziness really latched on to something there with that comment. I'm wondering if that may have been the case with me as well. But I know for me, it just got to be a point where being so overweight was just too painful already, I was ready to deal with whatever being thin brought about. Visibility and all. And quite frankly, I'm finding it easier to deal with the issues of being thin and visible, as opposed to being fat and invisible.

    Anyway, I am soooo glad to see you back again. We are seeing lots of folks returning here. What a good thing!!! I wonder if it's with the summer just about ending and a new season on the horizon. September is when I began my journey. I can't help but think of the fall as kind of a new beginning. It's the start of the school year and a time of renewal for me.

    Whatever the reason, WELCOME back. I'm so sorry that you felt this way, but I think most of us here can relate. Please stick around. We need you here! Good luck to you as you continue on your journey.
  • Welcome back!!
    I love it when you are in line for something, and the guy at the registar is staring at the skinny women walking buy, doesn't it make you feel so good?
    cheryl
  • I can totally relate to this. I've noticed as well, that I am also apparently mute in addition to being invisible. I'm from the south and we say hi to just about everyone. I have looked people directly in the eye and said hello to them and have been looked at as if I have three heads or something.
  • Welcome back!
  • back! It's SO good to see you!
  • Welcome back Melissa, you have done super in the past, I'm sure you will again.