Hello,

I am not sure if anyone else has experienced this...

I have lost 46 lbs. I am visiting friends and family in my hometown this weekend, and only two people have noticed my weight loss...my dad who said I looked "extremely toned" and "in shape" and a friend of mine. My mom has not said anything, or any of my other friends.

My sister had gastric bypass, and she is losing weight a lot quicker, but we have lost the same amount of weight. And, everyone is saying how good she looks. I have been working out more than her, so I am more muscular and toned...but I do not see how this could make so much of a difference?

I never told anyone I was trying to lose weight, so maybe this is why no one is noticing. This has been so much work, and if no one notices, it will be difficult to want to keep going. I want to lose the weight myself, and I hope to never have any type of surgery.

Has anyone else experienced this before (no one noticing)?

I've rarely had people comment when I've lost weight. I'm currently 40 pounds lighter than I was 2 years ago and my friends/family never says a word. Sometimes I think people notice and are afraid to say anything because you might take it as an insult over how "fat" you looked before.

Your family might have noticed your sister's because it was more rapid. Doesn't discredit your weightloss at all. I bet you look and feel tons better.

If you can lose the weight without surgery, do it. There are risks to any surgery. One of my friends is seriously considering it and that scares me.


oh and my mother did make a comment about my weight loss. She told me my butt isn't quite as big anymore. Ya sure you want your family to comment?

Not a lot of people have noticed mine either. I'd suggest taking pictures of yourself - they're motivational!

Don't let other people get you down! You are doing this for you and whether they notice or not you have made fantastic progress. You are doing a great job so keep up the good work. I agree that sometimes people can worry about hurting feelings. Why don't you say to your mom "Have you noticed that I am looking more fit and healthy?" Perhaps that is the opening she is looking for! No matter what, stay with your plan. It is obviously working.

I think a big part of this has to do with the fact that the others KNOW that your sister had the bypass. So, they are probably much more intuned with noticing any little changes.
I know that for it it took about an 80lb loss before people started commenting.
I think that it also might have to do with people not wanting to be rude and make comments about your weight when you haven't told them why you are losing weight. For all they know it is a sensitive situation or you may be sick or something else and you wouldn't want them to comment. Also, some people think that if they say "hey, have you lost weight? you look great." you might take offense and take it to mean that they thought you were too fat all along or something.
I wouldn't make too much of it. You have done fabulously! And if you want to let your friends and family in on the success just tell them! I am sure you will get tons of compliments when they open their eyes to see and know that it will not offend you.

I agree with shrinkingchica on why they notice with your sister.

Plus, if you are more muscular and toned now, that could possibly make a difference? I mean, say person A loses 50 pounds, but that 50 pounds is a mixture of fat and muscle. Person B also loses 50 pounds, but they've also gained muscle, etc. It might be easier to notice the weight loss of person A... dunno, but that's how I would think anyway.

Also, what type of clothes are you wearing? Baggy? Fitting? I've just lost some, and nobody had noticed - not my mom, no one. But I was also wearing baggy clothes since I haven't been able to afford to get new clothes. One day I raided my mom's closet, and while I still had baggy jeans, the shirts were more fitting for my weight, and once I started wearing more fitting shirts, the comments started flowing in.

I know it's frustrating because you want your hard work to be seen, but try not to let it get you down. 46 pounds is awesome!

Some people didn't notice my weight loss until recently, after 80 pounds. A few noticed after about 30, but they really started noticing after 60 or so. One of my students recently said he still can't tell I've lost any! People who see you every day see it happen gradually and they can't tell, and also people are so into themselves that they often don't notice anything around them anyway! I don't mean that in a bad way -- it's natural for people to be a bit oblivious, I'm afraid.

It's hard when you want that positive feedback and you don't get it, but you will get it. And until you do, just focus on how wonderful you're doing. 46 pounds -- that's amazing!! Do the potato sack trick -- next time you're at the grocery store, lift a few of those 10-pound sacks and then think about the fact that you used to carry around the equivalent of nearly FIVE of those on your body. At the store this morning, I thought about the fact that I've lost eight of those sacks and that was enough motivation to last me for a while!

It's hard when people don't notice, or even if they do if they don't let you know they've noticed. When that stuff gets you a bit down, pull out a piece or two of clothing that you used to wear and put it on. Take a look in the mirror and get a good dose of "wow, I did this!"

Starzzy, You're doing so well! 46 lbs is a great loss.

I just wanted to commiserate with you. It took 50 - 60 lbs for people to notice and even then most people weren't really sure if I had lost weight, or had done my hair differently or just had on a color that flattered me, etc, etc. But eventually everyone noticed. I also realized that once I could no longer wear the same clothes and was forced to buy smaller more fitted clothes, more people seemed to notice.

It will happen for you. In the meantime, take pride in and enjoy your accomplishments!!

I think we all either have or are experiencing the same thing. Very few people have commented to me...I think they just aren't quite sure what is looking better. Don't worry, it's happening whether people comment or not. You're 46 lbs smaller than you were! That's great!!! Keep it up!

I've lost a little over 60 lbs and no one has noticed yet (or at least they haven't mentioned it to me). The last time I lost weight, I had to lose 75 lbs before anyone noticed. But then once I reached that point it was non-stop with people commenting. I have however come to the conclusion that people have noticed something different about me (I've been getting more comments about the clothes I'm wearing, my hair, my makeup, etc) but since I haven't broadcasted the fact that I'm trying to lose weight they can't quite figure out what it is that is different. And I have the feeling that is what is going on with you also. (I may be reading something into your post that isn't there, but I am assuming that your sister was quite open about her surgery - so people know to look for the weight loss.)

Hang in there! It may take a while but people will start noticing!

Melissa

I know it hurts your feelings but you are doing great!!! And keep it up and soon more will come off........you are doing this to be a healthier you........

hugs,

Neko, your mom and my mom must be related!


Starzzy, a few people have noticed the little bit of weight I have lost, but these are people who see me often and know I'm trying. In fact, sometimes I think they are just saying it to be nice, but who knows. Anyway, please don't base your motivation on people noticing! I think they notice your sister more as with bypass surgery, the intial weight goes very quickly, where when it coming off by a healthy lifestyle, it is a slower (but I think more healthy) transformation!

Gage your motivation by how YOU feel about yourself! You are doing so well and your plan is working!

Hello,

Thanks for all of your responses! It really helped to vent a little bit! I read each response, and they made a lot of sense! Thanks again!

I am not wearing different clothing yet with the exception of my pants, so I think that my shirts are way too big...which could be another reason why it is not as noticeable.

Also, I think that the weight loss between my sister (who had the surgery) and I is a little different. I have really been focusing on the exercise and toning...I know that this might sound weird but her skin looks different than mine (not as firm as mine). So, maybe my appearance change isn't as drastic? I am very supportive of her choice to have the surgery, and I just chose to do this in a slower and different way.

After thinking about it...most of my weight gain has been in the past 2 years. I think that people noticed the weight gain more than the weight loss. I have always been into exercise and sports, and my sister has never been active.

I am sure that after another 46 lbs people will notice!

I have hit a plateau this past week, so I need to keep myself motivated!

Thanks again!

I definitely think this has more to do with the fact that your sister pretty much announced to the world that she was losing weight - in that case, even if there wasn't actually a discernible difference, people would likely still comment because they feel they should. For yourself, it may also be that people have noticed, but not wanted to comment as it's nothing you've spoken about with them - maybe they think you'll bring it up when you're ready to have it be "out there" as a topic for discussion? I know people in my family who will NEVER bring up weight - gaining, losing, no matter - because they just don't feel it's their business. If someone was to go out and share the fact that they had surgery, though, these same people likely WOULD talk about it, because the "first move" had been made by the person involved. Does that make sense?

I also do think there's a difference between 46 slow, healthy pounds lost than 46 rapidly lost pounds. I can imagine your frustration, but I really wouldn't let it get you down - you're doing GREAT, and those compliments will come in time.