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Sabotage 101...I need a tutor

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Old 10-24-2013, 07:54 PM   #16
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I can't believe there are people out there encouraging you to give up nursing. Where I'm from, the whole "breastfeeding is best" mindset is firmly ingrained.

Although... now that I think about it... with my first kid my husband did have a problem with it. It was more personal for him, I think. He is generally a VERY supportive partner. But in this one case, I think he kind of saw it as the baby taking over his "playground." He already felt left out and as if I had less time for him.

As we've had more kids, he has laid off the breastfeeding thing. (I am nursing our last baby now--baby is 4 months old--and my husband hasn't said a word about it this time.) But he still gives me the ol' "You have less time for me now, and I'm last on your priority list" speech sometimes.

Are you sure the people in your life aren't just jealous that you don't have as much time to give them attention? Not that it's an excuse for their behavior or words, but perhaps it would help you all address the issue in a different way.
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Old 10-25-2013, 01:52 AM   #17
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I don't think they're jealous, I think they're offended because my parenting techniques are so different than theirs. You know, that's not how THEY raised their kids, so I must be doing it wrong. They also seem offended when I try to avoid what they're eating. Family get togethers (that occur VERY often on my side and the in-laws) are dreadful! They always question why I'm not eating, or if there is something wrong with the meal. So, I usually play dumb and jump up to make a plate of delicious-cheesy-whatever...Squashing that days calorie count.

My oldest daughter is from a previous relationship, and when I tried to nurse her, her father called me a pervert and said that I was disgusting. I was DEFINITELY alone on that one, so sadly I gave up and formula fed

My husband will make silly comments like "lucky baby" and "I would nurse her if I could!"...But I don't think he's ever been truly bothered by it. I always try to include him, like nurse in bed snuggled up with him, let him bathe her, spoon feed solids, give pumped bottles etc. Now the baby pretty much ditches me once she's had her fill to go find Daddy and snuggle.

Do you ever wear your baby? You can do more things together while still holding him/her, like garden, go for a walk, whatever your hobbies are- etc. that way your hubby doesn't feel so left out.

I'm still stumped as to what I should say to everyone, if anything? I'm usually a closet-dieter, and do closet-workouts (I hate working out in front of anyone) but inevitably, once they notice any weight loss, the comments/questions/unwanted advice pour in. Maybe I should play dumb?..."Oh, it must be all the crack and street drugs!" Throw 'em for a loop!
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Old 10-30-2013, 05:46 AM   #18
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Could you start bringing healthy food to the family get togethers. Maybe a bowl of salad or a tasty but low cal dessert? That way if they start annoying you about not eating you can heap your plate with your own food and eat that.
People may think its rude but you can just say its not fair for you to do all the cooking/ prep work I'm just helping out.
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Old 10-30-2013, 01:01 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fakk View Post
Could you start bringing healthy food to the family get togethers. Maybe a bowl of salad or a tasty but low cal dessert? That way if they start annoying you about not eating you can heap your plate with your own food and eat that.
People may think its rude but you can just say its not fair for you to do all the cooking/ prep work I'm just helping out.
I was going to suggest something similar, but not necessarily a salad!

How about a roasted vegetable and pasta dish, with lean sausage, marinara and aged cheese?

Loaded baked potatoes with roasted broccoli, center cut bacon crumbles, 2% cheese, and light sour cream?

Make your own pita/tortilla pizza night with toppings of choice?

Taco bar?

Steak and potatoes?

The food doesn't need to be something that your family doesn't recognize. We eat the foods above very often, and I've never had anything but positive feedback from anyone eating in my house!
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Old 10-31-2013, 04:26 PM   #20
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I love the pot-luck idea, Fakk!

And of course I offer healthy meals to my family, but when I refuse to buy their favorite junk/snack, they think it's the end of the world. And whoever said no one would notice me swapping out brown rice for white was dead wrong. My husband can't stand it. I guess I will have no choice but to prepare my own meals/sides for the week and grow some will power to say NO to the temptations!
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