3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Dieting with Obstacles > Pregnant - Nursing

Pregnant - Nursing Diet support for the pregnant or nursing chick!

When have decided no more babies, but are being haunted by the thought of having more

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-14-2013, 07:36 PM   #1
Senior Member
 
GlamourGirl827's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Under the Sea
Posts: 1,674

S/C/G: 215/baby/130

Height: 5' 6" on a good day

Default When have decided no more babies, but are being haunted by the thought of having more

DH and I decided together that #3 was the last for many reasons.

#1. Kids are expensive. I'm a SAHM mom now and DH is the only income. He makes a good living but without my income we can't really move foward (paydown debt, eventually sell this house buy a bigger one that we will need as the boys get older)

#2. I hate being pregnant. I get deathly ill during the first trimester. I cannot move off the couch, I puke non stop and I was in the hospital with hte last pregnancy for fluids b/c dehydration. I cannot care for my current children during that time. I wish for death and after this time swore never again. I am also fat and in lots of pain at the end.

#3. I had trouble getting pregnant with my 3rd baby. I had two miscarriages and ended up needing progesterone with my third son.

#4. I'm going to be 33. Not old but as I creep up there, I think about how lucky I am that my kids are healthy. I worry that I might have a child that is not healthy.

#5 Speaking of healthy, My oldest son is high functioning autistic which I consider healthy, but he has a lot of challenges. We don't know if our new little baby is on the spectrum, he;s only 2 1/2 months old. So all we can do is wait. I worry about having another baby that is serverly autistic.

#6 We'd like to get on with life that is hard to do with little babies. Travel, sleep through the night...I need to get back to school. I'm a few classes away from finishing my BSN. It has taken me a lifetime because I keep stopping to have babies!

#7 I will not get pregnant at this weight. I'd have to get back down to around 160 for me to feel ok getting pregnant again. But I dont want to rush. I'm really struggling with the weightloss this time, and that would put me under the gun to get the weight off.

#8. I dont want to regain only to have to lose it again.

#9 My last baby was 9 lb 6 oz...I am still having pelvic pain...I am terrified of having another baby that big. The labor was the worst pain ever. Exponetially worse than my 7 lb and 8 lb kids. And I had an epi! But the puching part, I felt ike I was splittin in half...seriously I'm scared to do that ever again. If I knew another baby was going to be an easy 7 lbs...well that would be different...


So DH and I have all these logical reasons. And I felt at peace with 3 kids. I didnt feel "done" at 2...but 3, I felt good.....and the past few weeks I've been seriously loving loving loving my new little guy and the time with him (I had to work with my other two) that I have a little voice in my head saying "I want another"...

I don't know if its because he's my third, and I know he's last, or if its because I'm older, or because I'm home now and not trying to work 40+ hours weekly, or because we are more financially secure, but I'm so much more at peace and enjoying this time, I want to do it again. WIth my other two I was more stressed.

BUt we are done. I dont even want to bring it up to DH...BUt I've literally thought about getting my tubes tied so I cant try again...


How did you know you were done? Did you have doubts? Is there a grieving process moving out of the child bearing stage of life??
__________________



2007- 230 lbs to 160 lbs after baby #1 Boy
2010- 220 lbs to 145 lbs after baby #2 Boy
2013 - 215 lbs to 157 lbs after baby #3 Boy
Baby #4 - It's a Girl!


Pregnancy Goal: Maintain current weight between 175-180lbs
GlamourGirl827 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2013, 03:08 AM   #2
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 15

S/C/G: 224/205/140

Height: 5'8"

Default

I ask myself this same question everyday....Even now at 2am nursing this cranky 8 month old back to sleep, I contemplate having #4. I think it really is a grieving process when you decide you're done having babies. It's what we KNOW we're good at, so why wouldn't we want more babies to be a mother to? The only thing that eases my negative thoughts about not having more children, is GRANDCHILDREN! We will get to do this again...And we wont have so many restless nights, or middle of the night ER trips, or mountains of laundry!

Just remember...GRANDCHILDREN!
OneChillMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2013, 06:20 PM   #3
Senior Member
 
banananutmuffin's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 480

Height: 5'0"

Default

Now that my babe is 16 weeks, the thought of another baby has been on my mind. I think it's because he's out of that cuddly newborn stage. And because I've been really enjoying him (he's a good baby). And because I am mourning the fact that I will never have another newborn (not mourning the lack of pregnancy, though. I hate pregnancy.).

BUT I am 39 years old. Neither DH nor I are willing to risk it. We have three healthy kids. We're blessed.

Besides... he got snipped. So now there's no going back.

It's okay. But I do feel a little bit of a tug at my heart about it sometimes. I think that's normal.
banananutmuffin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2013, 04:05 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
GlamourGirl827's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Under the Sea
Posts: 1,674

S/C/G: 215/baby/130

Height: 5' 6" on a good day

Default

Thank you both for replying. I do think its a grieving process, whether we have 3 kids or 10, I'm going to have to go through that "never-going-to-have-a-baby-again-" stage and feeling.

I am trying to really enjoy all my time with my little one. B/c now I know just how fast it goes. But I'm sure as my youngest grows out of stages, baby, toddler, preschool...its going to be a bitter sweet feeling...
__________________



2007- 230 lbs to 160 lbs after baby #1 Boy
2010- 220 lbs to 145 lbs after baby #2 Boy
2013 - 215 lbs to 157 lbs after baby #3 Boy
Baby #4 - It's a Girl!


Pregnancy Goal: Maintain current weight between 175-180lbs
GlamourGirl827 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2013, 07:39 PM   #5
Senior Member
 
happybug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 207

S/C/G: 69kg/65/60

Height: 5ft

Default

There was a time in my early thirties when having another baby was the last thing I wanted or needed. But fast forward several years and at 37, with my two girls teenagers and not needing me as much, I started thinking of having another baby. I now have a 2yo and I panic at the thought of having another or of accidentally falling pregnant. My marriage couldn't survive another baby.
__________________
happybug is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2014, 10:30 PM   #6
The Divine Mrs. C
 
dcapulet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,738

S/C/G: 270/211/165

Height: 5'8

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by happybug View Post
There was a time in my early thirties when having another baby was the last thing I wanted or needed. But fast forward several years and at 37, with my two girls teenagers and not needing me as much, I started thinking of having another baby. I now have a 2yo and I panic at the thought of having another or of accidentally falling pregnant. My marriage couldn't survive another baby.
This is pretty much my situation. My kids are 9 and 15, and I use an IUD, but everything else is the same. I said NEVER again - but this morning I woke up and realized that I have worked for a long time on my career and now want to have a more balanced family life. For me, that brings the thought of having another, non-surprise, purposeful pregnancy. My kids were wanted, but not planned. I would like to try it both wanted and planned. But I've been going over the "cons" - including my husband not wanting to talk about it.

Thanks for starting this thread - I'm really really unsure of things right now.
__________________

Trying like crazy not to fit into my genes.
dcapulet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-05-2014, 11:06 PM   #7
aka Vicky
 
MaddiesMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 617

S/C/G: 275/Ticker/175

Height: 5'8"

Default

I'm in the same boat - I honestly would LOVE to have another baby, my husband? Not so much. He is the voice of reason: expensive, being able to spend equal time with them all, etc. (We had twin girls 19 mos ago and I have a 6 year old). And I think it scares the **** out of him that I would potentially have twins again (the chances go up if you've had them before).

I just LOVE the baby stage. I loved being pregnant, had no problems whatsoever...I just really feel like I was born to be a mommy. (I breastfed twins for 9 mos, made my own baby food, etc. etc.) I would have another one in a minute, but I don't think that will happen again.

I'm grieving that part, looking at my twin girls, I already feel guilty that I can't spend as much time with them as I'd like (I work full time), and my hubby can't wait for the time when they are all in school and we won't have to pay daycare anymore. I just have to accept that I was blessed with 3 beautiful healthy girls....even though I wouldn't mind trying for a boy.
__________________
Starting over since having my twin girls:

Long Term Goal


One for every 5 lbs lost:
MaddiesMom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2014, 11:00 AM   #8
Senior Member
 
Ishbel's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 1,424

S/C/G: 305/163/165

Default

This is my first baby and 95% done because I'm 37 and hubby is 40 (I will be 38 when this one is born, factor in mat leave and coming back to work...I'd be going on 40 trying to get pregnant again. He has an 11 year old son...the anxiety over my age is getting to me.

I will grieve for the son I won't have if I have a girl and I will grieve for the daughter I won't have if I have a son. Either way I'm hooped and who am I kidding I'm already grieving because I think about it. But I know where he's coming from and understand that if we had met sooner I'd have my two. It's a tough place to be in so I'm trying very VERY hard to enjoy every last minute (even though I whine).
__________________
"If you don't look after your body, where will you live?" - Kobi Yamada

"If I go back to what I was, I will be what I was. I don't want to be what I was, I want to be what I am." - Me




Started IP - 19 April 2011 - Hit Goal -18 April 2012
Started Maintenance - 17 May 2012 (1 yr 4 months in maintenance before pregnancy)
PREGNANT MODE! Yippee! Due May 2014
Photo/Stats Album: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...il-2012-a.html

Last edited by Ishbel : 01-06-2014 at 11:01 AM.
Ishbel is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:46 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2