IVF concerns

mandalinn82 · 12-17-2011, 10:29 PM

I know the 2WW can kill you mentally, but I spent the night before my positive test sobbing uncontrollably for 3 hours, because I was ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED that there was NO POSSIBLE WAY I was pregnant (I had started mildly spotting, which turned out to be implantation bleeding, but that I totally thought was the start of AF, and I had NO symptoms, and the same thing you had, what I thought was a faint positive followed by nothing). Literally, I was thinking onto the next month already, trying to make myself OK with it. Next morning? BIG FAT POSITIVE.

Just don't give up hope! It's not over until AF shows!

chickadee32 · 12-18-2011, 12:01 AM

mandalinn, thank you so much.

I've been spotting and cramping as well the past two days, and that combined with the tests... What you described is exactly how I've felt today - just trying to make myself ok with it, and move on mentally to the next step. I'm doing better tonight than I was earlier today, but it's really good to know that there may still be some hope there. I'm so afraid of getting my hopes up again, and yet I tested again tonight because I can't help myself. LOL. It was negative, but I expected that and so it didn't reduce me to tears this time. This is a crazy, torturous process! I know I've got to just relax and breathe and wait. We'll see what Thursday brings.

mandalinn82 · 12-18-2011, 12:11 AM

Tell me you at least got the dollar store tests so you're not spending $10 a pop!

chickadee32 · 12-22-2011, 08:12 PM

Unfortunately, no! LOL. By the time I realized there were much cheaper tests out there I figured it was too late to order them - stupid me, I should have done it anyway! But I will know better next time.

Our beta today was negative, but I am doing ok. I knew based on the negative HPTs and how I was feeling what the result would be, and so I'd already gotten past the worst of the disappointment by today. We're going to be able to move right on to a frozen embryo cycle, and I'm really thankful for that.

Thanks to everyone here who provided feedback and support - I just had no idea what was happening this first time around, and being able to talk about it helped.

BlueIsis · 12-22-2011, 10:15 PM

Hi Chickadee!
Sorry I didn't see this post sooner...keep the faith. My first IVF resulted in a chemical pregnancy and we were devastated. Our one frozen embryo didn't survive thaw and we were truly lost, but our next fresh IVF cycle resulted in our twin boys. They are healthy 9-month-olds now. It took us four years to conceive, but it was sure worth it. I'll keep my fingers crossed for your frozen cycle.

mandalinn82 · 12-22-2011, 11:18 PM

I'm sorry this wasn't your month, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the next cycle!

chickadee32 · 12-22-2011, 11:26 PM

Thank you very much, ladies. I just finished a nice workout, and I'm feeling good and very positive for the future.

And BlueIsis, thanks for sharing your experience with me. I'm sincerely so happy for you that you have your boys after such a struggle, and and every success story I hear gives me more hope.