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Help! Wanting a baby but don't know if I should?

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Old 11-01-2010, 12:10 PM   #1
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Default Help! Wanting a baby but don't know if I should?

Hi,

I am 28 years old and I weigh about 220 lbs. I have tried every kind of diet that I can think of and nothing has seemed to help me lose weight. I try walking every other day on the treadmill and I am pretty active in my job (always moving and what not) but I cant lose it. My boyfriend and I want to have a baby sooner rather than later but I am afraid that I weigh too much. Anyone have any suggestions? Please HELP! All I want is a family.
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Old 11-01-2010, 12:13 PM   #2
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I would consult your doctor first. They would be able to give you some pointers and good advice on what you should do. For me, at my highest weight, I wasn't able to have a baby, plus it wasn't a good idea for me either. I suffered from serious anxiety and high blood pressure putting me in danger of a high risk pregnancy. I'm 8 mos pregnant now, and so far, everything has been going smoothly! Best of luck!
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Old 11-01-2010, 12:48 PM   #3
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Weight loss comes from eating less calories than you burn. Walking every other day is good for heart health but is not enough. Have you considered a nutritionist that specializes in women who are trying to conceive?
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Old 11-01-2010, 12:51 PM   #4
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I never could lose weight just by exercising. I have to change my diet to lose. Have you tried low carb? I have lost a LOT of weight in a short period of time just by cutting back on the carbs. Exercising doesn't hurt, but for me it didn't really get me to lose.
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Old 11-01-2010, 01:26 PM   #5
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I have checked with my doctor and she does not seem concerned at all. I do have high blood pressure and am medicated for it.
I do a low calorie diet of about 100 calories a day with no change.
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Old 11-01-2010, 02:25 PM   #6
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I sincerely hope you meant 1000 calories, not 100. That said, you need to eat more than that. Super low calorie diets (which that is at your weight) do nothing but make us hungry and binge. How long have you been trying to lose weight? Are you tracking your calories (writing them down) or estimating in your head?

If your Dr isn't concerned and you're positive that this is the right time in your life then I'd say go for it. I was overweight when I had both of my kids and everything is fine. You are at increased risk for several things (GD, Preeclampsia, PIH, etc.) but it's not an astronomical increase from normal weight women.

It sounds like you want to lose weight before you get pregnant, and that's something you can absolutely do! Find a plan that works for you and stick to it 100%, you'll succeed! Weight Watchers works awesome for me, some people do South Beach or calorie counting (writing it all down)... something will work for you. Good luck!
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Old 11-01-2010, 03:51 PM   #7
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I agree with Gale02, you need to eat more then 1000 (I hope that's what you meant). You would probably fit around the 1500 calorie range but it depends on how rapidly you want to lose it. I'd suggest you go to a weight loss site like, Fitday or fitnesspal to get a better idea on your calorie range for the day.
But yes, your daily eating habits need to change. I could lose just by eating right with zero exercise.
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Old 11-01-2010, 07:38 PM   #8
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Thanks everyone, and yes I did mean 1000 calories. I'm going to try weight watchers again and see if I can drop some.
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Old 11-01-2010, 08:26 PM   #9
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it's always better to be a healthy weight but life doesn't always work out that neatly. I weighed about 195 with both my kids. It does put you at greater risk for diabetes and you end up on a diet anyway. But on the other hand, I didn't gain much during my pregnancies.
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Old 11-02-2010, 12:53 PM   #10
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I absolutely love weight watchers. I have been on it for about a month now and have lost 16 pounds. I am trying to get pregnant. I have been off of birth control for over a year and still no baby. When I went to the gynecologist about it she said my weight could be a huge factor in my fertility. She said 50 pounds could do the trick. I am on my way there and hoping to get pregnant! Good luck!
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Old 11-02-2010, 04:01 PM   #11
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Well, I am hoping that I can drop some. So far I am down 3 pounds in the 1st week of my diet, but it seems as if I always gain it back right away.
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Old 11-02-2010, 07:08 PM   #12
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I always was afraid, being 260 something and 5'9" that if I got pregnant, I would balloon to over 300lbs and I was scared to death to put that much weight on and never be able to lose it...
When I did get pregnant, I actually LOST weight. I had morning sickness so bad, I was puking like a bulimic. It took until the 5th month for me to even like food again. Right before I had my daughter, I was finally back up to what I weighed at the very beginning of pregnancy (260). So after she was born, postpartum, I weighed around 245. So I didn't have the pregnancy weight gain that some women have. But I digress...
My point is that you simply don't know what the future holds. If you want to lose a little, great, do that before, but don't let your weight stop you. If I did, I wouldn't have a wonderful little 19 month old napping in the other room right now...
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Old 11-02-2010, 07:11 PM   #13
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BTW
My little girl has actually been my best motivator for losing the weight permanently. I want to be an active role model for her, and be able to out-run her in the park, etc. I also want her to develop good eating habits. I don't want her to struggle like I have. Before, I treated my body like a trash can because I didn't have anyone holding me accountable, or anyone I felt I needed to be accountable for. But all that has changed now.
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Old 11-03-2010, 11:51 AM   #14
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Thanks for the encouragement. I just get so down because I keep gaining without much explanation. I did go to the doctors to have my thyroid checked so we will see what happens there.
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Old 11-07-2010, 02:58 AM   #15
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Just wanted to chime in with some encouragement/advice. I know how it feels to REALLY want to have a baby and yet see your weight as being an obstacle. It stinks.

I was 275 when I got pregnant and my pregnancy ended 8 weeks early with rapid onset preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. My care team agrees that obesity was a factor.

You already have blood pressure issues and it sounds like you are thinking that there may be a thyroid issue as well. Those things, coupled with obesity, make you at risk for preeclampsia.

That being said, we are not living in the dark ages and you won't be on your own to deal with any potential complications. Your OB will know your risk factors and monitor you accordingly. If things start looking weird during your pregnancy, there are supportive care options to keep you going as long as possible.

My advice would be to see about your thyroid and then give yourself a few months to get your weight down. Even if you only lose a small amount of weight, your body will thank you for it during your pregnancy. I'd also caution you not to set goals like, "I'll allow myself to get pregnant when I reach 140 pounds." It's just not realistic. Get to a point where you feel positive, then get busy!
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