I really want to gain some self confidence and feel good about my body.
What work are you doing or thinking about doing about your thinking habits/patterns?
Because on the body work front, you ROCK. You have made huge changes in your fitness/diet routines and more importantly MAINTAINED the changes!
So maybe it's time to give yourself permission to change your way of thinking about yourself? And to me... that is mind work. How you talk to yourself about yourself, being able to examine your perceived reality with your actuality.
No. You will not look like your non-patient Asian relatives. (I'm also Asian.)
Accept this as a limit of the Universe. They are not patient people.
Could go with the only ruler that matters --- YOU.
You are a patient person with PCOS.
Do you look and feel better now as a PCOS patient you who maintains her health routines than as the PCOS patient you who was not doing her health routines?
For these experiences:
Coming from an Asian family, I suffered a lot of humiliation and heart ache whenever I'd go back overseas to see family.
Why? Because they say stuff that you choose to take personally? That's a mind health thing. Nobody can make you feel anything but you.
My Dad used to comment about my weight and I told him the topic was not up for discussion and if he brought it up I was going home. Life's too short to spend my time doing things I dislike. He brought it up 5 min later and I said "Visit over. Thanks! See ya next week!" and went home. Enjoyed my afternoon doing things I like rather than sitting around listening to crap. It is very liberating!
My mom called because she was in the shower wanting to know what happened and I said "Nothing. I just decided I am not up for that convo, I set a boundary. He does X, I do Y. See ya next week. "
It took him a while to adjust his behavior, but he did. I was willing to hang out and visit a long while if he respected my limits, I was just going to say "Ok, thanks! Bye!" if he did not. I wasn't rude about it, but why hang around visiting when I'm not enjoying the visit?
We teach others how to treat us.
Also, my older sister is half my size- we get along great, but shopping together is a horrible experience.
So... don't shop together? Do something else. Look at books? Play video games or board games?
Again... life's too short to be spending time doing things that are not fun for you. You don't have to be rude to your sister if she invites you. Just say "Nah. Not in the mood. How about a movie date instead?" and go figure out something else.
You CAN do this!