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irish!!! I am so very proud of you! You have worked hard for that loss. What did you do different?
I am taking a scale break for the next two weeks. I have been stressed like mad the past week and the scale is only stressing me out more when it either doesn't move or goes the wrong way. Normally, I take it with a grain of salt, but right now, every little thing is setting me off. So...scale break. I have no idea what my weigh in is. I don't plan on finding out for a wee bit, until I can get me super hyper emotions under control. Don't know what the heck is wrong with me, can't wait until my next doctor appointment to see waht can be done. Plus, the roommate's boyfriend is in town. I usually weigh naked in the am. My daughter has a bad habit of randomly swinging the door open...and if the roommate catches me naked, I am not going to wig out. Whatever. He lives with me. It is bound to happen sooner or later. But if his boyfriend catches me naked...yeah, that just will not go over so well.
My daughter's birthday weekend was a slamming hit. We did Medeival Times and she got knighted (or whatever it is for the females), and ended up getting the knight's favour as he battled for her honor. She was on top of the world. Saturday, I spent 14 hours working on a cake. It looked beautiful. Then I mucked up and never put it back in the freezer so...it collapsed on Sunday. Sigh. My anxiety meds just haven't been enough this past week. A week long worth of prep work and fourteen hours of detailed labor for...a collapsed cake. I bawled my eyes out. The good news is, I got before pictures. And the better news is, no one noticed until I pointed it out. I saw it though.
We didn't do Easter this weekend because a birthday and Easter is just too much, so we plan to do that next weekend. Luckily for us, she doesn't know the difference and it will be rare her birthday falls on Easter weekend in the future. We had her party on Sunday, because there was no way I could have the cake done in time on Saturday. Snow White made a guest appearance, and now my wee one thinks I have some insane connections in the land of fairy tale and is telling me who she wants to meet next. She was star struck regardless. Snow White is her hero currently, and she was in kiddie heaven.
Great fun had by all. I likely gained a ton, but not stepping on the scale has helped me not really think about it.
I'm here. Albeit quiet, I am here. Just have had too much going on this past week...and fixing to get more busy as the warmer weatehr surfaces...what with Tee ball, swim, and a ballet recital coming up. At least no one can call me lazy
Zoemom may I stick my nose in and make a suggestion?
Your rant sounded just like my life and when I put it on another board that I belong to a reader wrote to me to go to Amazon and get a book called Co-dependent No More. That book gave me so much insight into myself that I never knew. As I read it all I could say was me, me, me...
It really opened my eyes that I am a Co-Dependent and the Enablers will continue to take advantage since you allow them to do it to you.
Off my soap box, but this book saved my sanity.
Good Luck.
Last edited by Sally Pineapple; 04-02-2013 at 10:01 AM.
Zoemom may I stick my nose in and make a suggestion?
Your rant sounded just like my life and when I put it on another board that I belong to a reader wrote to me to go to Amazon and get a book called Co-dependent No More. That book gave me so much insight into myself that I never knew. As I read it all I could say was me, me, me...
It really opened my eyes that I am a Co-Dependent and the Enablers will continue to take advantage since you allow them to do it to you.
Off my soap box, but this book saved my sanity.
Good Luck.
I appreciate your response. I actually read that book quiet recently at the recommendation of a friend of mine. It described me a bit, but ultimately, I have a lot of mental issues as a result of a highly abusive father while growing up (severe OCD, depression, bi-polar syndrome, anxiety, paranoia, and adult ADHD) that require medication on a regular basis. Actually, the only issues I medicate for is the OCD and the anxiety. Everything else I am okay with managing on my own, and in a way, enjoy it as it motivates me to overcome certain obstacles. In fact, if I can keep the OCD and anxiety at bay, everything else is hardly noticable, but if they flair up, I am a one woman wrecing ball. However, right now, something is very askew in my system that is causing me to be rather irrational despite those medications. I have two voices in my head right now...the rational one telling me I am acting nuts, and the irrational one telling me I will die if I listen to the rational one. I am batty and at least I know it. That is something I guess. I chalk my recent bought of insanity up to losing weight and throwing my metabolism off kilter.
Anyways, it is rather hard to live with me, and I know that. My husband is an amazing and awesome person. Last night is a prime example. I was fine, until I saw a flower pot had been knocked over by the cats. The rational side of me said to just pick it up, vaccuum the dirt, and no harm done. The irrational side of me flipped the freak out and starting ranting about killing the cats (I would NEVER do that!) and started crying whilst heaving my guts up because of the anxiety and the "mess". My husband pulled me into our room, told me to lay down with a cool rag over my head. He then proceeded to spend 4 hours detailing the room the cats had knocked the flower pot over in and progressed into the other rooms of the house as well. He even helped my daughter alphabatize her books, knowing full well that last night was my turn to read a story to her and I would end up doing that instead of reading if I saw the disarray they were in.
The roommate even pitched in. I actually am rather surprised by that one, he never pitches in. Even though he is a slob, my husband has only to be asked and he will jump right on it. I guess it helps that he has his own form of mental illness so even though he doesn't get mine per say, he gets it. I just rarely do because I tell myself I am the only one that can do it "right" or I am the only one who will pay attention to the details. Or I tell myself that he needs rest because he is so much older than me, or he is the bread winner, or a million and other excuses. My husband is clueless on a lot of things, and he has to be asked a lot, but he is really good with just doing it, and without complaint.
The roommate on the other hand, I have to nag endlessly. He and I get into it frequently about his slobbishness. At least my husband keeps his isolated in his study. My roommate drags it all over the house. The clothes, the left over Chinese food, the three week old pizza box that was apparently in his room and somehow made it to my laundry room and sat there for two days before I discovered where the garlic smell was coming from. Or, he'll push me out of the kitchen when I am cleaning it and start doing it himself...except he uses a dirty rag to wipe the counters down (then REHANGS it so people can dry their hands on it...EWWWW!) He never uses hot water when washing the dishes, rarely uses soap, never rinses anything before putting it in the dishwater..ultiamtely...he creates MORE work for me. He literally drives me nuts. And he knows it! In fact, the flower pot was ultiamtely because of from him. Instead of putting it outside or in his room, or even on the mantle, he put it on the floor next the the cat's scratching post.
My daughter only has to see me doing it and she jumps right on it. She is an amazing kid like that. Granted, her idea of clean and my idea of clean are far different, I don't have to say two words to her about it. And she will cme ask me to check it. If I do and mention she forgot something, she jumps on it without complaint. I have a really awesome kid.
My issues are mostly mental, and I know that. (Granted, the roommate and I are going to tangle if he doesn't wipe his sweet tea mess up out of my fridge...this is the forth time in two weeks!) I am usually in control with medication. I haven't wigged out in many a year, until the past week or so. I really think my body is adjusting to the weight loss and the medications are being metabolized differently then they once were. I have an appointment early next week to get my pysch meds re-evaluated.
WOW! I just realize I told a bunch of people I barely know how messed up I am. It has taken my pysch close to ten years to get that much info from me. Feels good getting it off my chest, but I am sure it makes me sound like I need a straight jacket. Heck, maybe I do. I am sure there are far worse things out there then giving myself a hug.
zoesmom Thanks! I was hoping for one more pound so I could hit 30 lost. We are just never satisfied, right? Seriously,I am thrilled, because the closer I get to goal,the harder these losses are.
So what did I do? I increased my protein in my lean & green. When I had a piece of sirloin I would have 5 oz instead of 3-4, same with a chicken breast, etc. I think between working out and running after my grandson, I am not eating enough. I am still doing the EasAdvantEdge, after my workout.
Glad Zoe's birthday went well. I totally understand taking a scale break, I have thought about doing that. Every time I try, the scale screams ''get your butt on here ''.
I am sure it makes me sound like I need a straight jacket. Heck, maybe I do.
No you don't!
Tried not stepping on the scale this morning....but that evil thing was mocking me. So I stepped on it and yep, should have stayed off.
Gained 1 lb. Of course, I made a piece of sirloin steak last night and got a little carried away. It was over 7 oz after cooking it.
Tried not stepping on the scale this morning....but that evil thing was mocking me. So I stepped on it and yep, should have stayed off.
Gained 1 lb. Of course, I made a piece of sirloin steak last night and got a little carried away. It was over 7 oz after cooking it.
You did better than I. I haven't stuck to my diet 100% in over a week at this point. I think TOM may be approaching as hunger levels have been insane. Either that or I am stress eating. Terrified of my scale, sot he scale break is helping a wee bit.
But...to lighten the mood, wanna see my daughter's cake I did? (worth pointing out it later collapsed due to me not re-freezing it and having too high of humidity. First cake I have EVER have collapse too...only makes sense though. I spent well over 24 hours decorating it.
That cake is so cool.
I use to make decorative cakes when my boys were little. Of course, mine were more Batman, Superman, etc.
At least you can blame TOM, I have not had that excuse in over 20 years.
BTW now I want cake!
Thanks And SORRY! Sometimes I don't think. I guess, for me, cake isn't a weakness so I never stop to think it might be someone else's. I've been making cakes for so long, they just don't appeal to me anymore. However, danishes. Those are my weakness. I've gotten to where I force myself to go to Panera Bread every weekend and ONLY order a black coffee. It was HARD the first couple of weeks, but now, I don't think about it. One small black coffee for me and one chocolate chip bagel for my kiddo and that is it. I used the "face your fears" mentality and it has helped a lot. Of course, I have weeks like last week and that just made everything fall apart.
On the bright side, my doctor was able to see me late yesterday afternoon. I got some more anxiety meds (YEAH!) and that has helped calm my rattled nerves. And he was oh so nice to tell me he is no longer going to recommend gastric bypass, that I have far exceeded his expectations and to keep up the good work. Still got my pysch appointment next week, so hopefully they can adjust my meds and get me back on track with the sanity. At least my theory wasn't entirely off...my doc agrees that losing weight likely has messed with my metabolic rate and is essentially making my mental meds off kilter and ineffective. Heck, he had to adjust my asthma medication yesterday and took me completely off the high blood pressure and anti-acid medication. Progress. Baby steps. And oh thank heavens I am semi calm today. I feel like....me.
“No amount of security is worth the suffering of a life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.” ~Unknown
Ah nothing to be sorry about. I am not much of a cake eater. Last night, I just happened to be craving sweets.
Great news from your doctor about not needing the bypass. Glad you are feeling better.
I spent 5 hours outside trimming trees this afternoon. I don't mind the trimming, but in my town, branches have to be bundled and tied or they will not take them away. It 's the tying them up that's a killer. My arms are very sore and tired. I stood in a hot shower, but I suspect I will really feel it tomorrow.
YEAH irish!!! You lost more than me (at least I assume you lost more than me.)
I don't have too much to report, given that I am taking a scale break. And...I...uh...seemingly had taken a diet break last week. Whoops. Glad I am on a scale break so I don't see the damage. Back on track this week though, through thick or thinner. I guess I just hit burn out. That and all the mental mambo jambo floating around here lately. It was nice to not have all these restraints. I mean, I didn't hog out or anything, but I didn't care if I had a slice of that homemade cinnamon bread or worry about eating the whole 8 ounces of fish the other night oppossed to my normal 3-4 ounces. And I had a slice of real cheesescake. I mean, well, the WS stuff is okay, but sometimes, the real stuff is just too good to pass up. Other than that, I really wasn't too bad last week. I kept my caloric intake around 1500-1800 every day aside from those three "slips" last week. But it helped lighten my mindset and the drudgery of the diet and how it really is the same thing over and over again. So...here's to a another fresh start.
And...I...uh...seemingly had taken a diet break last week. Whoops. Glad I am on a scale break so I don't see the damage. Back on track this week though, through thick or thinner. I guess I just hit burn out.
Well, I understand that! Same happened to me on the weekend. The anniversary of my husbands death was Saturday. My youngest son was out of town (at his brothers). My DIL had to work, so I went to their house to watch the baby. I didn't get home until 6:30 PM and I was tired and didn't feel like cooking. I ended up going in the freezer and finding a Smart Ones frozen dinner to nuke.
Oh and while at my DIL's house, I found the Easter candy, and decided that a handful of jelly beans,some peanuts and a couple small chocolate bunnies would make a good lunch for me. Can you tell I still indulge in crap food when under stress or feeling sorry for myself?
So I am back to trying to make smarter choices this week.
I am so sorry, hun. I can't begin to image living past my husband, although I suspect it is a very real possibility as I am younger than him by a decade and cancer runs heavy on both sides of his family. Given the circumstances, I doubt anyone blames you. Sometimes, we just have to cave into temptation....as long as it is only sometimes.
I read an interesting article several days ago...wish I could remember where...that stated something along the lines that eating eating junk food every now and then will not make you gain weight, just like eating healthy every now and then will not make you lose weight. It is the consistency that is key.
Anyways, you know you are human when you are not perfect. And that alone makes you perfect.
Like you, this week is all about getting back on track and making those smarter choices. Except today. Stupid YogurtLand. But...I am happy yo announce I only had 3.5 ounces (which is 115 calories, 15 carbs, and 21 protein) and did NOT have a WS shake. I am sure the sugar screwed me over, but at least I indulged smartly. I only go once every several months...basically, when ever I feel like not playing in the park with my daughter and try to bribe her.
irish!!! I am so very proud of you! You have worked hard for that loss. What did you do different?
Seriously,I am thrilled, because the closer I get to goal,the harder these losses are.
Great news from your doctor about not needing the bypass. Glad you are feeling better.
