[CackyDoodle]

I think I started COE at around age 12 (puberty), a very tumultuous time for me. I am the child of an alcoholic so there was plenty going on. I started gaining weight around age 21 when I moved back home and got right with God after sowing some oats.

In the 20 years since then, I have dieted pretty much continuously, and got myself up from 140 when I started my first diet to 274 after the birth of my DD.

For the first time, because of what I've learned in OA, I am not depending on my willpower, or my power of any kind. And I'm seeing the immense wisdom of the program. Not just the knowledge in my head, but when I "do the footwork", it works. Meaning, I use the tools, and God does the rest. For example, I pray for help, I call someone to talk about the panic and temptation I'm feeling, and by the end of the conversation, I'm past it.

I have Hope for the first time, not coincidentally because my hope is not in myself and my abilities. It is liberating to realize that I *can't* overcome this without God's help. whew! OA is such a relief.

Why do you like OA? Anything you dislike?

ETA it's painful to me to see others who I believe would benefit from a 12 step program but instead they're continuing in their pain. I considered OA years ago but let my misconceptions of it keep me away. Then I found out that being inside and working the program is different even than interpreting meetings. (I'm a sign language interpreter.) Hearing is different than doing.

[ellis]

Cacky, thank you for sharing that with us.

Why do I like OA...
I've actually only been to about five meetings, but I'm planning on going back very soon.
At the first meeting (and I think I've said this before), I looked around the room and thought, "What am I doing here with all these people with problems!? I don't have a problem! I just need to go on a diet!"
Well, by the end of the meeting, I was feeling very humbled. I almost immediately felt a very real connection to the other women there. They were struggling, and I was in denial about my own struggles.
I still have a difficult time accepting that I'm 60 some pounds overweight. It's only when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or window that I am HORROR STRUCK by the image of someone I don't know. I FEEL like Ellis, and I LIKE Ellis. And some of you may think I'm speaking of vanity, but I'm not. When I look in the mirror, I see an overweight, unhealthy woman. THAT'S when I recognize myself for the person I've become. The mother who can't run around with her kids playing soccer. The wife who is too out of shape to go for a bike ride with her husband. The woman who loves to run, but can't any longer, because her knees hurt, and her feet hurt.

So what do I like about OA? I like that when I go, it's like looking in that mirror. I see myself for what I really am. Someone with a disorder. Someone who is out of control. Someone who needs to reach out for help.

[beachgal]

Originally Posted by ellis

I like that when I go, it's like looking in that mirror. I see myself for what I really am. Someone with a disorder. Someone who is out of control. Someone who needs to reach out for help.

Wow...Ellis, that was really powerful.

I feel very much that way too. Being a compulsive overeater is really often the elephant in the room. It amazes me how many people tried to tell me I looked fine when I was almost 200 pounds overweight. People just think it's a matter of willpower, and it's not.

When I realized that I was treating sugar and other foods as drugs, to get an endorphin rush, I knew that what I was dealing with had more to do with addiction than I had thought.

Like you, Cacky, I was so thrilled to realize that it had never been about me and what I could and couldn't do. But I haven't been able to even take step 1 yet. The fact that I've succeeded at SBD has made it even harder for me to come to terms with my addiction. I end up thinking that maybe it is about willpower and I'm doing fine. But I know that's not true...

I'm looking forward to going back this summer when choir is over.

[Blessed and Free]

How amazing! I just found this site yesterday and have been going through and trying to read all the different threads. And this one really caught my eye because I have a lot to be thankful for because of this program. I've been struggeling with my weight pretty much as long as I can remember and have always used food (either by iteself or in combination with other substances) in order to numb myself...I just didn't want to feel anything.
What spoke to me right away when I first entered through the doors of my first OA meeting was how different everyone was, yet we were all bonded by one common aspect - food.
I love what it says in the Big Book in the chapter "There is a Solution" (2 pr, 4th line) "We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful."
OA loved me when I couldn't love myself. OA showed me what happiness layed ahead for me, what gifts I would receive and what peace and clarity was possible by just surrendering my will.
Today, when I walk into a meeting, nothing matters. The traffice on the car ride over, the hellish day at work, the chaos I will walk into at home after the meeting or my abstinence (pride/ego, because I don't know any more than anyone else there). At that moment in time I am just a compulsive overeater, just like everone else there. And I am always an arms length away from my next bite. I have to do my spiritual "push-ups" in order be willing, just for today, to not eat compulsively.
Thank you for all the wonderful sharing