This is not a pity party - it is just putting me in my place. And I think that's a good thing because I'm gaining weight, I'm over-eating, and I'm noticing my body- at the age of 27 years.. almost 28 - is starting to show health issues (on top of knowing that heart disease and cancer run in my family). I know my Higher Power (and have known Him for years now), I know I battle depression and anxiety, and I know how to eat healthy food and I'm a decent cook too.
But I'm not turning to my HP to deal with stuff. I'm abusing the idea of taking "one day at a time" thinking I can fail today and tomorrow I'll have a new chance... to fail. I have the tools to exercise and I don't use them. All I want to do around my loved ones is eat and when I'm alone I'm panicky about OMG what am I going to eat? Am I going to over eat? How many calories? How much fat?
I've gone from a size 5-7 as a teen to a size 14 in like 10 years. I've doubled. I feel disgusting- although my husband always tells me how beautiful I look. I know my spirit isn't disgusting but I want my body to be healthy in order to match my spirit. I do not need to be a size 7 again... I want to be a healthy weight of around 160 lbs (I'm about 210 lbs right now).
So this is day 1... I'm not really hopeful that tomorrow will be day 2.