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I feel a little lost, I don't know if I belong back in OA again or not?

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Old 11-04-2012, 11:49 AM   #1
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Question I feel a little lost, I don't know if I belong back in OA again or not?

Hi,

I was doing WW and so many other diet plans, but they don't address the "Real issues" like OA does and I do miss OA but I found that calling my food into a sponsor wasn't for me. Although I felt a sponsor could be helpful, I also found that I felt a bit, well glued or trapped into calling or emailing in my food everyday.

I don't really know what to do, I know I need to lose this weight and get a better handle on my emotional issues with food. I am in therapy for some psych issues and sometimes we talk about food, and my fear of losing weight.

I think if I were to rejoin OA, I would go to the online and phone meetings, I feel too nervous to go to the F2F meetings because I have had some negative experiences there or at least one negative experience and I feel like I am viewed as an outcast in this OA community.

IDK, I think I could benefit from OA, such as the food plan perhaps, working the steps, and others support but I am a bit nervous about calling in food. I just don't know if that is for me right now, I don't know what to do.

Thanx.
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Old 11-16-2012, 11:35 PM   #2
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Hi, Seabiscuit,

I am brand new here but noticed that no one had replied to you. I, too, keep thinking about OA. I have lots of experience in other 12-step groups and I know I am powerless over food and that my life has become unmanageable. For right now, I am overjoyed to have found 3FC this morning. This gives me hope and it's already made a difference in how I related to food and exercise today.

But, about meetings...

I can only use other programs as my comparison, but here's my experience: when I've lived where meetings occur in smaller towns, or in some of the smaller programs like Emotions Anonymous or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, it can get get pretty insular and sometimes cliquish. The personalities can dominate the principles of the program. They aren't supposed to.

For me, I've had to find meetings I trust and individuals I trust. That has meant doing a bunch of exploring - going to quite a few meetings until I find what clicks best for me. And phone numbers and small, personal visits with women who seem trustworthy to find out if they are. Persist until I find those who are safe, kind, loving and still willing to call a spade a spade, gently.

The idea is to be honest, open-minded and willing - and that goes at least as much for the oldtimers as it does the newcomers!

I didn't know that calling in food was key to OA. I'm not sure I'm desperate enough to do that. I can understand it, but I don't know that my psyche woks that way. That's where my no-experience with OA doesn't really help you.

Best of luck!
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Old 11-19-2012, 03:31 PM   #3
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Hi Seabiscuit!

I have recently had the same dilema with OA. It SEEMS like a lot of trouble, but, believe me it's WELL worth it. I gave away 60 lbs. 15 yrs ago, relapsed, and am having trouble getting back on.

BUT . . . let me tell you that I considered the daily call-in of food a BLESSING. I felt like I gave my food away, i committed to what i was eating for that day -- no questions asked. And my mind and body followed. i believe that the commiting of the food was critical for me.

Could it be that you are not comfortable with your sponsor? you can always get someone new. And remember that the others at the meetings are all sick people (as I AM). Hope this has helped in some way.

OA is a GREAT and healing program
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Old 11-19-2012, 06:38 PM   #4
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If you don't want to call in your food, then don't. There's a saying in OA that says something along the lines of take what you need and leave the rest. I have never not once called in my food to my sponsor. For me, my food is only a symptom and if the reason that I am not eating certain things is just because I am afraid to disappoint my sponsor then I am still missing it. I use food in place of things. When I need more of something in my life that I am not getting I turn to the food. More love, more attention, when I am fighting with my family or friends. When something in my life isnt right I want food to fix it. Thats where OA has helped me. OA has given me tools. A sponsor, writing, literature friends. It took a while for me to feel like I fit in in my group being that I am the youngest one there by probably 10 to 15 years. But now I love them all. I feel like they are some of my closest friends.

Don't leave before the miracle happens!
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Old 12-04-2012, 10:32 PM   #5
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Wink I am back in OA :)

Hi there,

I am back in OA and am very glad to be back in it. I have found a wonderful sponsor. She is great, incredibly supportive, helpful and understanding.

Sometimes I feel a little frustrated that I need to email or call in a change to my sponsor but I know it is in my best interest. I am currently on step one and about to get a workbook that my sponsor and I are going to go over together once I do the readings and exercises in it, bit by bit.

I make an effort to go to meetings, online and face to face, sometimes telephone, all of which are helpful.

Thanks everyone for the replies! I greatly appreciate the input.

Together we recover
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