I am new to this. Nice to be here.
Ok: I've had a bad binge today. I am in a whole new realm of feelings because this time, instead of hating me, I am hating my husband. He knows how much I am struggling with this, to find this equilibrium in my life, and today we walk past an ice cream place and I said "I'd eat one of those" and he said "Oh, me too, let's go!". So we go inside and we split a huge one of those. From there, it was 1:00p.m., it has been a non-stop till now, that it's 9:30p.m. and I feel like I could puke my eyes out if somebody squeezed my belly.
In all this, I am looking at him and saying: how could he say yes? How can he not say: you are not eating an ice-cream because you are trying to be at peace with yourself and ice-cream does not fit in your plans. He knows that I can't stop! it's either a perfect day of diet, a binge or a fast. He knows that. And somehow, after this many years together, he can't say "no!".
It is starting to creep in and this feeling is now kind of bugging me.