Hello, Fellow Chicks. I've been on 3FC before -- though not very actively and actually only briefly before my fitness plan imploded upon impact with an overly-demanding, sedentary schedule -- but I'm back now and more committed than before. My work is very sedentary and at this stage in the project, it's really stressful. That's normal for most people, I guess, but my relationship with the stressful project seems to have gotten to a point that impacts my weight. I'm pretty sure that stress-eating isn't healthy management of the self.
I'm currently the heaviest I've ever been (and also the oldest I've ever been, which means the body works slower now that I'm in my 30s than it did just a couple of years ago in my 20s) and really struggling to reduce fat and become healthy. Because I can't just watch what I eat for a week, workout a lot, and see an immediate result, I'm trying to be more responsible by seeking out communities of people in similar situations so that I feel less like a freakish failure and more inclined to keep motivated!
In an effort to do so, I'm trying to re-evaluate my patterns and tendencies when it comes to eating.
So, I'm not really sure if emotional eating is a type of binge-eating, but it seems to me like combination of over-eating and displacing value when it comes to what gives a person comfort. I've been thinking about this a lot today and wondered what other people thought and if similar strategies to controlling eating very large portions might work when eating for the wrong reasons.
I didn't think I was a an emotional eater because both sadness and happiness had a tendency to dampen my appetite, not stimulate it; I wasn't eating to dull intense feelings. I realized today, though, that I do tend to overeat when I am feeling very stressed out, frustrated, overwhelmed, unfocused/bored with the moment and unable to change it, spiteful about criticism regarding my physical body, or when I feel like I'm being pushed around and not in control. When I dive into my work and focus, I forget to eat for a couple of days at a time and most of the time, I don't even notice that I'm hungry or will drink tea, coffee, or water instead of taking the time to eat real food. You see, my time-saving strategies spawned the poor eating habits that are wrecking my physique -- convenience = processed food, usually, eaten infrequently and in big bursts. Pack-rat mode. Clutter mode. In fact, these habits have begun to ooze out of the kitchen and into life, now, too and my once organized, fit self is overwhelmed by physical, mental, and body-fat clutter! I'm starting to think that these things are all related for me.
So, perhaps eating for the wrong reasons is actually a kind of bingeing? I'm in a tough place with my project, now, and stressed out a lot and procrastinating, too much, by eating more than I should of things that I know are bad for me. It's almost like subconsciously, I think that the indulgence will push me past that feeling of floating away in a big gust of wind, like I'm trying to increase my connection to the ground and grounded-ness, overall.
How many of you have found some connection between feeling in control of your lives in general and in control of your nutrition and fitness? Do any of you overeat or binge eat when you're feeling out of control in life? I've also noticed that my weight loss plans usually tend to fall apart when other well-meaning family members try to take over my dieting or exercise regimens by guilting me into following their advice or guilting me for choosing something that is my own, so that I feel like it isn't my own ambition anymore. In some ways, this battle for control is both about my body and about my feelings of independence.
Have any of you felt similarly? What do you do to combat stress-eating, spite-eating, or convenience-bingeing?