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Are groups meant to be like this??help

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Old 07-18-2010, 01:05 AM   #1
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Question Are groups meant to be like this??help

I've just started going to groups and have noticed that almost every single person there is struggling all the time and complaining. I haven't heard one success story yet and people seem to be putting on weight. I know the focus is on psychological issues around food but after going for around a month, I'm just noticing everyone is unhappy and putting on weight and it's really confusing me! One lady kept swearing about how crap step 7 was and I didn't exactly feel inspired to go on the program. Can you let me know what your experiences are/have been like? ...

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Old 07-18-2010, 10:01 AM   #2
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Sorry to hear that you have experienced this, I also don't think that it should be like this. I have been to meeting like the one that you are describing. But I am grateful that I am now in a better group. I also try to go to other fellowships as I don't have OA near me more than once a week. I started a year ago and especially in the beginning I could not see it working and did not see much recovery. So I went to other fellowships, not much identification in the food part but it really goes to the core of who i am and why on earth do I eat so much!
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Old 07-19-2010, 07:35 PM   #3
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My experience has been that a group is only as healthy or toxic as its members. If they are not sharing their strength and hope and you have gone a few times, find another group.
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Old 07-19-2010, 08:15 PM   #4
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I've only been to one group, but I enjoyed it. Yes, there were some overweight people, but there were thin people, men, women, older, and younger people there as well. Everyone told of their struggles but were overall optimistic. Some of the members even told me to try finding another group if I ever felt uncomfortable.
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Old 07-20-2010, 08:00 PM   #5
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I have been to a dozen meetings and haven't heard any complaining at all, so I guess I'm blessed. Sounds to me like you should try and see if there are some other meetings in your area. Even if you need to check out AA or Al-Anon. You do WHATEVER it takes for your recovery. Hang in there!
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Old 07-23-2010, 02:25 PM   #6
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When I lived in OK there were only a few meetings around me and they took a while to drive to. My shrink thought it best to try at least one. This was about 5 or 6 years ago. It was similar to that. I have never gone back to a f2f meeting. Now that I live in MI I don't have any close to me so I just attend them online. I think that suits my lifestyle just fine.
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Old 07-25-2010, 10:58 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dolliemac View Post
My experience has been that a group is only as healthy or toxic as its members. If they are not sharing their strength and hope and you have gone a few times, find another group.
Agreed. Hopefully, you can find another meeting with some strong recovery.
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Old 07-25-2010, 11:01 PM   #8
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I'm not in OA, but I wanted to jump in because I had a weight watchers group that was just like this. I shopped around and ended up having to drive 30 min farther to go t a good group but it was so worth it. All that negativity really makes it hard to feel motivated.
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