I was asked by someone how I spent the last 60 days binge-free, and I realized that a lot of you out there might want to hear this too. I hope you find it helpful...here's what I wrote to her:
You know, it's strange, I've been binging since I was a kid, hiding food and the like, things you've probably experienced. I always thought that it was something wrong with me, something that I couldn't get over without a large amount of treatment. But the thing that allowed me to overcome it was as simple as talking to someone who really understands the way people make relationships with food. I scheduled an appointment with a nutritionist shortly after I started dieting, and it turned out that she was also a counselor for people with our overeating issues. We spent a while talking about my relationship with food, and I came to realize that I was a combination stress eater and emotional eater (specifically, I tied the feelings from food to past family issues, and used food to recreate good feelings from my past). Now, this is different for everyone, and there's no way for me to tell you what your relationship with food is based on. Even a counselor can't do that, though she may be able to help you realize it yourself.
Anyway, after that we worked on finding ways for me to create a new relationship with food. These include sitting at a table, alone or with friends/family, where the food is the center of attention. No distractions. Something that also works for me is doing my best to look cute everyday. If you're feeling cute and clean, wearing make-up or whatever you do to feel that way, it's really hard to binge (because it feels unnaturally dirty in comparison). Don't get me wrong, I still wear my sweatpants from time to time when I'm relaxing or whatever...but don't let yourself feel "gross" or "ugly".
The diet I chose also helps an incredibly great deal. I eat whenever I feel hungry, and before I feel hungry often in the mornings (or if I need more calories before it gets too late at night). I also eat whatever I want, nothing is off limits... just this week I have had chinese food, hamburgers, ice cream, mixed drinks, and even chips. I love food, and I'm sure you do too. Forcing yourself to eat leaves all day or bland foods will never work!
What I do that is different from before (when I would binge), is to stop feeling bad about my love of food, and cut off hunger before it happens. Also, the more time you spend doing this, the easier it will be to tell the difference between hunger and craving, something that I never could tell before. I limited my number of calories, at first to around 1350-1550, but these days I found that its best for me to stay around the 1500s. Just looking at the calories of everything I eat or could eat (or had been eating) can really change the way you look at things. I started to learn to pick out things that were more filling for fewer calories, simply because I wanted to be able to eat more throughout the day. For example, I love french fries, but looking at the calories in them, I often make the decision to save those calories for something more satisfying. I'll decide to have a burger, and those 400+ calories I didn't eat from the french fries will let me have a piece of cheese pizza or a plate of spaghetti.
I find that these days, what I crave more than the feeling of binging is the feeling of taste itself and the feeling of fullness. I stretch out all my meals to the point where its almost annoying to everyone else (because they finish way before me). For example, I love chips and pretzels, and these days I find that it is wonderful to get the flavored ones, put a small piece in your mouth, and enjoy it as long as possible. I would have never believed it before, but now I am able to eat one serving size and enjoy it much, much more.
I know one of the big problems with over eaters is the fact that we usually feel guilty and feel like we need to overcompensate with a "perfect" diet. When we fail (often eating only one "wrong" thing), the day is over, and we might as well spend the day in pleasure land and binge, right? This is the biggest step you'll need to overcome. There are NO wrong foods. If you eat more calories than you intended, great! It boosts your metabolism, and you should be able to lose even more the next day. Look at the calories, what you really ate in terms of numbers. So you ate a piece of cake, who cares!! Chances are you haven't eaten 4,000 or even 3,000 calories for the day, but are actually 2,000 or less. This is just fine. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY or you will always treat yourself like sh*t and continue doing this to yourself.
I hope this is helpful. Really, my best advice is to talk to someone about why you have this relationship with food. Once you are able to figure it out, you can find something that works for you. I think since I went through the trouble of writing this all out, I'm going to post it on the forum, so other people might read and benefit from it too. Good Luck! If you have any more questions, feel free to ask.
To all of you who feel guilty for who you are and what you do...
the time will come when you can love yourself again, (and its sooner than you think!)
How I've spent the last 60 days without overeating/binging
