I know I am not the only one who has felt this way or even do what I do. I've visited here before but only lurked but I finally felt it was time for me to join the site and seek the advice from those that can relate now.
I can't stop eating. All I do is think about food and hide what I eat and get extremely guilty after I eat. Then get all stuck in my head down on myself. I've always fluctuated with my weight. I was in the best shape of my life before I got married and had my son. Even though I was still heavy I was the most tone I've ever been and felt great. My husband and I both know what we need to do but we don't do it. We don't have the funds anymore to join the gym. I know we can walk but it is hot (my excuse) to go out there and do it.
Anyway, I pack a very healthy lunch and eat a good breakfast and not even a bad dinner. But what happens is here at work someone asks 'hey what are we eating' I never open my mouth to say I brought my lunch because I know that they are going to get something else. A few months ago I was gung hoe about writing everything down and counting calories (i was going to jamaica for a friends wedding) and lost 10 lbs and felt great. Well came back and gained it all back as soon as I stopped being accountable for what I was putting in my mouth.
I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd and began eating great. Lots of veggies and fruits because I was afraid of gaining so much more weight. Then I had an ectopic pregnancy. I know I'm an emotional eater and always have been and I'm almost positive that that is why I'm eating but then again I don't know why.
I eat so no one sees me. I lie to my husband about what I've eaten at lunch if it comes up in conversation. I'll eat good in front of him but as soon as he isn't looking or isn't there to see me I'm eating so much more even if I'm not hungry.
I need advice as to how you got motivated and what helped you and hopefully I can incorporate it into what I already know I need to do and how to do it but get the motivation to actually do those things.