Hi there! I don't know how helpful this will be, as 1) I'm brand new to OA, and 2) can only attend online (no meetings in my area).
What I'm getting from others (& my sponsor) is that each of us gets to decide abstinence for herself. What sets me into a binge might be totally fine for someone else. I have
seen a person or two "over the top" with restrictions, but I let that go. The whole obsessing thing is one of my problems, so I choose to abstain from "running a knife across the top of the measuring cup", as some have suggested. Are you kidding me? I had to un-install my nutrition software, I'm so obsessive with food control.
I do have a food plan (which I decided on with my sponsor's help), but I'm not being perfectionistic about it. My sponsor hasn't asked for that, instead letting me know that this is a learning process. Some things don't "click", but I'm keeping an open mind and trying to remain teachable. Gee, maybe I don't know it all! And as my mom says, from her years in AA, take what you need and leave the rest.
I agree that, at least for me, this is a spiritual problem and needs a spiritual solution. Joining OA is the first ray of hope in many years. Maybe I'll someday love & accept myself after all. What a concept.
Peace and love to you,