well, I did exceeded my calories for the day by a bit.
It was not a full blown binge, but rather just a large meal preceeded by a large snack.
Although...i did succeed in not eating the whole bag


I decided i need a place to leave my slip ups so that i do not use them as an excuse to fall off the wagon.

for dinner, i had 1/2 a bag of trail mix, and a footlong sub. guesstimating i went over the high range of my calories today by ~400calories. I can just stop eating for the day, rather than using it as an excuse to binge eat for the rest of the evening.

argh, i forgot about my just for today!

So i stopped at the supermarket and got some food, some of which was a bag of cashews. errrgh. i don't know how many i ate, not the whole bag at least, but still probably enough to qualify as over eating

So now i have to fight the urge to just keep eating and snacking the rest of the night and planning to start new tomorrow.

I really don't want to be fat.

I always feel like i can't move on in my life or find true happiness and worth untill i get my diet and body under control.
I try and keep my faith up that someday i will change. someday i'll see results. I hope it isn't too late for me. reading the success stories on here always makes me feel hopeful again.

Some times i just wonder if my metabolism is so slow that the only way i could possibly loose weight would be by following or trying to follow an unrealistically strict diet. and the minute i slip from it i'll gain back all the weight and have to start all over.



I've never been a quitter. I don't have alot of successes under my belt, but i can honestly say i've never really given up hope. I've hit alot of obstacles over the past 5 or so years, so maybe that's how i got to where i am now. but i just have to learn from my mistakes and try a different approach.
Which i am doing, so i should not dispair tonight. things will turn if i just keep making the effort.

Experimenting and exploring different workouts and activities and trying to settle on something that fits in my life, that i enjoy and feel good about and that gets me to loose wieght and be healthy.

sorry for the vent......ugggggggh

Hi Kaebea,
We've all had slip ups so you're not alone. Good for you for not continuing to eat and realizing you needed to stop. Keep it up - you can do it!

ugh, thanks luvmyboys.
I like to know others can understand. honestly it's good to have this forum cuz i don't really know any real life people who openly admit to this affliction.
sure people admit to craving chocolate, but not to the extent i can inhale food

so , today, another slip up. not so bad.
i had just fruit for breakfast cuz i knew i'd have a personal pizza from the cafeteria at work for lunch, then i had a drink from the cappucino machine at work.
I meant to get a cappucino, they're 65cents in the vending machine, but it wasn't spitting our capps today, guess it needed restocked, so i tried the "french vanilla" option my co-worker always gets. It dispensed one, but i found out it's mostly a sugary drink, no coffee in it.
more like a hot cocoa than a coffee, but vanilla flavored. (prolly higher in cals too.)


anyway, the binge part was a bag of trail mix after work, rather than the salad i had in mind. sigh.

oh well, live and learn. small changes. one day at a time and all that.


I hope one day i can put all this craziness in the past.