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lost my sponsor

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Old 03-04-2008, 12:39 PM   #1
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ironically after sharing at a meeting saturday how great it is that my sponsor is able to work with me even though she follows OA/HOW and I do not... I got a call from her today letting me know she is no longer able to sponsor me if I am not following HOW.

I am very disappointed and I feel a little misled since she is someone I met at a regular meeting (who volunteered to sponsor)...it doesn't seem quite honest that she is willing to sponsor but only if the sponsee if following HOW...something she did not tell me before now.

I've only been working with her for the last 3-1/2 weeks so it hasn't been that long but I really clicked with her. I am not interested in following HOW...it's just too much for me at this stage in my life. I've been using the suggested food plan from the dignity of choice lit and so far I'm doing okay (i've lost 16 lbs. since Jan. 21)

I guess I'm posting just to be in touch so I don't use this as an opportunity to feel hurt, betrayed and go binging.
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Old 03-04-2008, 03:18 PM   #2
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Lisa:

I'm sure that must be very disappointing. Who knows what was going on in her head that she made the commitment to sponsor prematurely. Put your true needs first, set aside that disappointment, try to connect with HP and other OAers and you will make it through this blip in the road. I cannot do HOW either, and I have lost 10 pounds in the last 3-4 weeks. We can define our own abstinence and be successful!

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Old 03-04-2008, 05:31 PM   #3
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Lisa-
I know how it feels to lose a sponsor. It's hard to not feel hurt. Jenny is right-- who knows what she was/is thinking or feeling. The awesome thing is that you came here instead of the kitchen.

You can take all that you learned from her and move on to a new sponsor and learn even more. You are losing weight (woo hoo!), working your program, and reaching out. YOU are doing all the right things.
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Old 03-04-2008, 09:25 PM   #4
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That is tough Lisa- hard to reach out and then feel like you got swatted away. As others have said, great that you are here. Something is working in your life. I like to find the gratitude in it even when I can't explain it. Like she was a positive force in your life to nudge you onto the path? Please keep coming back here and don't be afraid to find a new sponsor. We are all just "children of God" and if we look at our own kids or kids we know, we can think about how kids just do goofy stuff sometimes and then maybe move past it without resentment. My food sponsor "went out" when I had about 90 days of abstinence. Since we clicked, and she finds me calling her with my food every day helps her not go off the deep end, I still do call every day. Rules, shmules....
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Old 03-05-2008, 06:25 PM   #5
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Lisa, I feel your let down and also feel you know everyone is human.

You know to come here rather than to the next binge! How great is that! Look at all the positive things this sponsor taught you and make a list of them.

Keep going to the meetings and as you were led to ask this person to sponsor you, you will be led to ask someone else. Just keep your heart open to your HP and you will be led to the next right person.

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Old 03-06-2008, 08:55 AM   #6
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Stay strong in front of life's struggles. They are God's ways of making you stronger. He wouldn't impose a struggle he knows you couldn't handle. He is always with you.
Abstinence=freedom, happiness, health and well-being with yourself and others.
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Old 03-10-2008, 09:28 AM   #7
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How's it going, Lisa. Did you get a chance to find another sponsor?

Just keep on track and you will be ok.

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Old 03-11-2008, 11:17 AM   #8
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hi patd and others,

i have not found another sponsor yet. my previous sponsor offered to be my food sponsor (I can commit my food to her daily) but does not work steps with me. this is just until i can find another sponsor. i am struggling because i feel like this is just another diet without working the steps...

i couldn't get to my regular meeting because of the blizzard this weekend but hope to get back this week and find someone who's willing to sponsor me.

thanks for checking on me...this group is awesome!
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