[Jezzeb]

Well..I'm 15 years old and was reading on the OA website that they accept teams to join OA so I decided I might give it a try. I have a couple questions and concerns though. I know it differs from place to place, but does many teens actually go to OA or will I be in a room full of adults? Not that I have anything against adults of course, I'd just feel more comfortable if there was people there around my age too. Another thing, how do you actually become a member? Do you just show up and say "I want to join" or what?
One last thing, do you have to be like a hard core christian to join? I was reading on the site, and it talks about God and all that, and I believe in God, believe in the bible, etc but I really don't have much of a relationship with God(Really trying to change that..but its not working)..Its complicated, but I just don't want to go and feel all weird if its going to be more of a 'church' meeting.

[sidhe]

Hi Jezzeb! Gee, I wish I had gotten a handle on my eating issues when I was 15. Good for you!

The teen thing: it depends on your area. Some places (big cities) have groups that are for younger members. In a typical, non-speciality group, you'll find people of every age. My thursday night group's youngest member is 19 (she's away at college right now, but comes back to visit when she can). Our oldest member is...mmm...60s, I'd say. And there's only about 15 of us, so it's quite a spread agewise.

You don't have to sign anything or join or be official. You just keep coming to meetings. There are no dues or fees or anything. You don't even give your whole name, you just say "I'm < your name > and I'm a < compulsive overeater, bulimic, anorexic, addict, new, just visiting, whatever >" when you're doing introductions at the beginning of the meeting. No one will question or challenge you. You don't even have to say your real name. No one will know.

You don't have to be hardcore ANYTHING to be part of OA. I'm not a Christian, and I'm a part of it. Your Higher Power (HP) is your own business, and people won't challenge you on that. The program is based off the idea that you need a closer relationship with your own HP, and it's built around helping you get that. When I came into the program I had NO relationship with a Power of any kind, higher or otherwise. What I did was make up my own. I wrote a want-ad for what my ideal HP would be, picked out a name (the Welsh word for 'hippopotamus'), and acted as if that was the right thing. And it was. I don't 'pray' to my HP: we chat. If I listen closely my HP will say "that's enough" when I'm eating, and I'll know to stop. I can turn over anything to my HP, because if it's bugging me then she (yes, it's a she) wants to help. You do what works for you.

And it's not like a church meeting. There is the serenity prayer at the beginning ("God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference") and individuals may mention their HP, but NO ONE will comment on anything you say, or challenge you with gospel or whatever. There is generally a closing prayer, but you don't have to say it. It's been 7 months and I still don't know the prayers. I have no intention of ever learning them, either. They're other people's words, and they don't work for me. Take what works for you, and leave the rest.

Give it a shot, see what happens!

[Malinki]

Hi Jezzebe!

I totally agree with sidhe about all the things she said about OA. I go to a meeting in a smallish town, there are usually about 8-12 people aged between, based on guessing, late teens or very early 20s and about 60. So there is a whole range of ages but so welcoming and lovely.

Just show up and give it a go - I went to my first meeting almost a month ago and I am so glad I did - I just wish I had done it sooner, although I know it was probably the right time now. If you are nervous about going to your first meeting, you can call the person on the meeting list if there is a number and just say hi first, but that isn't necessary.

Higher power stuff - again totally agree with Sidhe. One of the best things about OA for me has been connecting with something beyond myself. I was brought up vaguely Christian but hadn't been to church or prayed or anything for a long long time in a meaningful way. When I started OA, I began to talk to God - for me that God is not the God of any specific religion, God is something quite specific to me. I know a lot of meetings take place in church meeting rooms and stuff, but they should not be affiliated with any particular belief systems (it is one of the 12 traditions of OA to not be connected to a particular religious doctrine). The God stuff for me kind of just happened, I didn't really plan it or theologise it. Like Sidhe says that HP stuff is your own business, as regards to exactly what your HP is and all that. I am sure all the people at my meeting probably have totally different views of what god is for them, but then the exact nature of an individuals HP is not something we have ever much talked about. I kind of enjoy the prayers, I tend to say the Serenity prayer every morning before I talk with my higher power - but that is just me, you can decided for yourself what will work for you and what won't .

I hope things really work out for you. x

[Jezzeb]

Thank you guys, that makes me feel so much less nervous about going. I think I'll give it a try.

[eeg]

Jezzeb,

Congratulations on your decision to take this step. I wish you healthy recovery and will think about you when I am in my meetings.
Also, some people get pretty confused at their first meeting, so be sure to ask questions after the meeting. If you don't feel comfortable asking them after the meeting, post here and I am sure we will answer your questions the best we can.

Emily

Emily

[allabouttheskinny]

I think I'm headed to an OA meeting this weekend. Enough is enough.