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Old 04-11-2009, 07:12 PM   #1
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My husband was talking to one of his co-workers today about how I've been enjoying weight watchers. She was telling my husband that I'll never be able to stick to the plan once they my points get a little lower. She says that it's just way too hard. She says she's been on weight watchers on and off for years.

I'm not sure she should even be talking about this, since I don't think she's ever stuck to the plan for more than a month or two at a time. She's about 350 pounds, doesn't track, doesn't go to meetings, and doesn't really even try... yet she knows that I won't be able to stick to it??? Anyways, I was a little discouraged once I thought about my points dropping... I agree that it will get harder.

Has this happened to anyone else? Maybe she just wants me to quit because she can't do it herself.... I'll prove her wrong!!!
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Old 04-11-2009, 07:17 PM   #2
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My philosophy is that people like to share their opinions, whether there's any proof that they're right or wrong. Hey, it's even why I'm here sometimes, I like talking to people, sharing my opinions, and even giving advice, and I would bet that some of my opinions are wrong and some of my advice is bad.

So what? There's no reason to care about someone's opinion, just because they chose to give it. In her mind, it's her "truth" that Weight Watcher's is "too hard," that's her truth, and just because she shared it with your husband and he shared it with you, doesn't mean that you need to care or listen. Her truth doesn't have to be yours.

Personally, I think "proving her wrong," is a waste of time. She probably would still think that you're the exception, and that your success does not prove that she could do it - that's how people are with their personal truths, they can ignore all evidence to the contrary.

Besides, there will always be people who disagree with what and how other people do things. It's like the Aesop's fable about the fater, son, and donkey. You can't please everyone all of the time, you can't waste your time trying to prove anything to anyone but yourself, because it will always backfire.
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Old 04-11-2009, 07:48 PM   #3
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It's very unfortunate that there are people in this world who just can't stand to see someone else succeed in something they can't. The world is filled with "Debbie Downers". I've gotten to the point where I don't even like mentioning that I've started a new diet to people...I don't like hearing..."oh, another one"? Don't let other people bring you down...my favorite saying is, "Life is 10 percent what happens to you, 90 percent how you respond to it". Think of dieting/fitness of how you are responding to a situation that life has handed you...it now up to you, not your husbands co-worker, of how you decide to handle it.
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Old 04-11-2009, 07:48 PM   #4
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When I had success with weight watchers, I didn't have too hard a time with point decreases because by the time my points were affected, I was exercising more and eating healthier and not as hungry anyway. And it will only drop a point or 2 at a time. What's that, a piece of bread? 1/2 of a banana? Keep it in perspective, and don't be afraid of success. You deserve it!!
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Old 04-11-2009, 07:51 PM   #5
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WTW... that was an excellent reply. I'm not on WW, but it was applicable to me!
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Old 04-11-2009, 10:08 PM   #6
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I agree with winning the war- dropping a point makes hardly any difference! You probably won't even notice.

I know you can do it- don't let that woman's bad attitude get you down! Just because she's started and quit WW several times doesn't mean that you'll do the same- this is just something that people say when they're envious of your commitment and success. A lot of us have been here, be it with family, friends, or co-workers, and trust me- soon enough you'll see that you have what it takes, and you'll just laugh off these kinds of comments! I say if the thought of proving her wrong keeps you motivated, use it If not, forget her- you'll do it no matter what!

Good luck, and keep at it, Mandik- you're doing great!
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Old 04-11-2009, 10:11 PM   #7
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In general, people like that don't like you to succeed because it forces them to analyze all the issues they have. You keep moving forward towards your goal. Focus on YOU. I can't understand a good reason for your hubby to tell you she said it.
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Old 04-12-2009, 10:01 AM   #8
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I've been on weight watchers for 20 weeks now and dropping points isn't that bad. That's why you have the extra flex and activity points to eat. She just wants an excuse for why she couldn't lose on ww. I would brush those comments off!
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Old 04-12-2009, 10:15 AM   #9
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I find myself playing devil's advocate a bit. I think we all speak from our own experience, and we give advice accordingly. Since I've been on a low carb eating plan, I've had more friends, aquaintences and even strangers crticizing my food plan than I have had in all my past attempts combined (30 plus years of them). They tell me low carb is not sustainable for life, and that I'll never be able to stick to it for the long haul, and that it's so unhealthy I'll probably die before I reach goal weight anyway. If I cared about or believed any of that, I'd really be in a bind, since it's the only plan I've ever been able to follow comfortably and long term.

I think they're wrong, but I understand some of the reasons they feel free to share. Not all of them are really looking out for my best interest, as much as speaking from their own point of view. Some are sharing to be helpful, and others are sharing to vent their own frustrations. It doesn't matter what their intent, I don't have to care, and I choose not to. Even getting mad is a waste of my energy.

I'm one of the rare people who likes talking about weight loss. I like sharing ideas, and I'm confident enough in my decisions that if someone disagrees with me, or thinks I'm taking on a task that's impossible (because they would find it so), I don't get offended. It's just an opinion, and an opinion can't hurt me.

Also, I think we have to remember this was a second hand conversation. No one, even hubby's can be trusted to pass along the message AND the demeanor of a conversation, second hand. Unless he videotaped it for you, there's no way to know if she was really focusing on her judgement of you, and not a judgement of herself - and it doesn't really matter. People will think and say what they feel, and when they do it says a lot more about them than it does anybody else. Giving it too much thought just draws you away from your own path.
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Old 04-12-2009, 11:26 AM   #10
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I'm not sure why my husband was telling her about my WW, but I think it was because it was the first time he's worked with this lady since his work did a biggest loser competition. My husband won, so I'm sure she said something about him winning the contest that sparked the conversation.
Once I posted here it totally got my mind off of the subject and I'm not too worried about it anymore, I've already dropped 3 or 4 points and I've done fine with the reduced points. I think it just annoyed me more than anything that she automatically thinks I'll fail because she did.

Thanks for all the support
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Old 04-12-2009, 02:57 PM   #11
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Well, to be honest when I had to drop down points I did find it really hard. But I think that was more because I love routine and had a great routine/plan worked out for 25-27 points and it was working great for me, then all of a sudden I had to drop down I think to 23 points or something.

I felt overwhelmed with the thought of cutting my perfect plan up, I didn't know what/where to cut down, and I just got all flustered.

It was a struggle for me. Not impossible, but definitely a struggle.

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Old 04-12-2009, 03:48 PM   #12
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I'm with you, Kaplods, I pretty much enjoy talking about it... with the right people. There are some people I don't like to discuss it with, but they are people with whom I don't like to be open in general, so they don't count.

I agree with pretty much everybody on here, that the negative comments of someone who is just not as committed as she thinks she is should not get anybody down who really wants to lose weight. I'm not on WW, but from what I have seen, the WW program is one of the most consistently successful for the people who choose to use it. If it were really too hard for most people, then we wouldn't see so many WW success stories here on the forum, and out in the 'real world.'

I can totally relate to the feeling of discouragement when people say things like that, though. My workout buddy, who I didn't know very well when we started out together, has for a couple months now been making nasty comments to me about my eating and exercise habits that I think are designed to mask her frustration at her lack of success.The other day, I told her that now that the weather is nice, I'd prefer to focus on long walks in the mornings, instead of holing up in the living room of her apartment, playing Wii Fit. Wii Fit is all very well and good, but I noticed that it's not very aerobic, the way we were using it, and I told her I'd like to focus on walks and the gym. She snapped back at me, "well, that's fine, because walking is the only activity we've done together that you haven't found a way to cheat at!" I asked her what she meant, and to make a long story short, she couldn't back up what she had just said, but she refused to apologize, and now I'm looking into a gym that I can go to without her. I know what her problem is: I've lost 26 lbs, and she's gained and lost the same 4-5lbs several times in the same time frame. But somehow, I'm "cheating."

My point is don't listen to people who are envious, because they are so busy watching you succeed, that they won't do what it takes to be successful themselves.
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Old 04-12-2009, 03:54 PM   #13
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I'd just look at numbers.
You are 279, she is 350. She has NO word in saying what you can and cannot do. Honestly, tell her to shut up.
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Old 04-13-2009, 11:11 AM   #14
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I would ask my husband to thank his co-worker for helping you to PLAN AHEAD for your points reduction. Her comments have allowed you to talk to others on this site to get support. The most important step for me when losing weight is to PLAN AHEAD. Prepare lunch the evening before, plan dinner the day before. When I am prepared, I stick to my daily plan. Besides, if she is trying to discourage you, the thank you may cause her to keep her comments to herself.
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Old 04-13-2009, 11:26 AM   #15
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You are here to get support in becoming healthier and staying healthy. Forget her. Stay here.

I do not think any response to her or your husband is required.
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