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How To Tell When Stuff Is Spoiled

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Old 09-29-2002, 11:19 AM   #1
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Default How To Tell When Stuff Is Spoiled

Posted by Dentrassi on another Forum

HOW TO TELL WHEN FOODSTUFFS HAVE SPOILED.....

Eggs: When something starts pecking its way out of
the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

Dairy Products: Milk is spoiled when it looks like
yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like
cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it
starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is
nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any
more spoiled than it already is.

Meat: If opening the refrigerator door causes stray
animals from a three block radius to congregate
outside your kitchen door, the meat is spoiled.

Lettuce: Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it
off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without
kitchen cleanser.

Carrots: A carrot that you can tie in a clove hitch is
not fresh. (Also, if the carrots have turned to liquid
in the original bag, do NOT attempt to drink as carrot
juice.)

Potatoes: Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches
or dense leafy undergrowth.

Canned Goods: Any canned good that has become the
shape or size of a basketball should be disposed of
carefully.

Mayonnaise: If it makes you violently ill after you eat
it, mayonnaise is spoiled.

Wine: It should not taste like salad dressing.

Chip Dip: If you can take it out of its container and
bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.

General Rule of Thumb: Most food cannot be kept
longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep
a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this. (Note:
Do NOT keep the hamster in the refrigerator after
HE has expired. And be sure to check on said
hamster!)
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Old 08-25-2003, 09:04 PM   #2
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Old 08-28-2003, 12:37 PM   #3
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OMG!!!! You have some really good wit abt you. Tjis was way too funny!!!
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