I originally posted most of this to LWL but I think it should go in the goals section as well
I have tried to provide a little more detail here though of the entire journey and motivations.
Today it is official. 100 lbs gone total. I knew it this morning because I weighed this morning on my home scale and it was hovering above 260. With work clothes on, my official scale reads 264 exactly.
The last time I saw this weight was 15 years ago. I was 16. I had lost 30 lbs from being 295 or so. As I wasn't eating properly to achieve the 30 lb loss, the 30 lbs regained themselves pretty quickly when I stopped dieting. I no longer diet but I have changed my eating habits significantly. The last time I was stable at this weight, i was probably 13 years old.
I remember 364 pretty well although I was only there for a short period of time. I ate ice cream every day. My favorite form of vegetables was when they were covered in cheese. I would eat up to a lb of meat at a single sitting. I could eat a whole loaf of french bread in one sitting and the bloating that followed didn't detour me. I had a lot of guilt about the food I ate and if I ate something, I would end up eating the whole thing in part to cover my tracks. I waddled when I walked. The seat in my sedan sized car was all the way back to accomodate my stomach and my booty. The seatbelt barely fit in my car. I used seat belt extenders on planes. I bought a pair of size 32 jeans. Actually buying the pair of 32 jeans was what really triggered it for me. Today I wear a loose pair of size 22 pants.
I had tried multiple diets but none of them worked in the long run. I would lose weight, feel constricted, then gain it back. I had seen 330 so many times that it was sickening. I couldn't lose more than 30 lbs before getting burnt out or tired of my eating plan. For 4 years, I had bounced between 350/360 to 330 numerous times. Then I think I realized that I hated myself and that was a hinderance to any efforts to lose weight. I had to change my attitude and work on something that was sustainable for life. So I renewed my efforts with a new outlook on life and myself. I wanted to lose 100 lbs more than anything and I knew I could do it.
Two years ago, I had just got dumped, I had just busted my knee from falling down the stairs and I decided I would lose weight once and for all. I started weight training to strengthen my knee, then started eating better and eventually added cardio. Exercising and healthier eating ended up with a total loss of 75 lbs but that was it. I got so frustrated at being stuck at 289. I was stuck there for nearly 18 months with a few lbs up and down. I thought I would be there forever.
Early this year, I decided that I could lose 30 lbs this year and finally reach the goal of 100 lbs lost. I actually ended up with a gain of 10 lbs due to changing my medication so I had to lose those 10 lbs then lose the 30 lbs to reach my goal. I rededicated myself around February of this year with a weight of approximately 299. Despite exercising and limiting my portions, I actually didn't lose any weight until May which is when I lost 1 lb. I am not at the 30 lb goal yet but in 5 more lbs, I will have reached my goal for the year.
I will not reach 199 this year. I may not even reach it next year. I will get there though. One day at a time, one lb at a time, one bite at a time, one drop of sweat at a time.