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Mini-Goals Even if you're not at goal yet, this is the place to share your successes and achievements along the way! Success can be measured in many ways besides the scales. Tell us about your triumphs, including Non Scale Victories

Not weight loss -- but a major body image success moment.

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Old 05-02-2011, 03:23 PM   #1
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Default Not weight loss -- but a major body image success moment.

When I reflect on my lifelong struggles with weight, I can identify a complex, interlocking set of internal and external factors that have kept me on the "fat path". As I am trying to change the way I take care of my body, I have also been trying to explore these factors. And, one major factor has been discomfort with sexual attention from men.

I have never really dated seriously, and I am not sure why. I think that I was a late bloomer, plus I had some other stuff that I was struggling with in adolescence. At first, it wasn't that big of a deal. But, then over time, it became "a thing". Like, "Sarah is super normal and great, except she has a thing about dating"... In a classic chicken/egg scenario, I don't know if I have avoided dating because I am uncomfortable with my body (in other words, don't feel sexy, didn't think anyone would want me) - or if staying heavy has been a way for me to avoid facing my intimacy issues... Or (likely) a combination of both. Either way, for a decade, I have been a big girl who doesn't date.

I am trying to put myself out there more and more lately, and it's been really hard. Like really, really hard. It's not that I don't get attention from men -- it's that I don't know what to do about it or how to feel good about it.

I recently have gotten closer to one man that I am dating, and last night we spent some "intimate" time together. And, he spent a long time admiring my body. Where I would normally cringe, cover up, or brush aside, I tried to not be self-conscious by the attention. I just let it happen. And, it was great!

And, I am nowhere close to my goal weight -- which is when I thought that I would be able to be comfortable with that kind of attention.

I don't know what is going to happen with this guy in particular, but (as cheesy as this sounds) I think that I made a major step forward in learning how to love/like myself....
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Old 05-02-2011, 03:35 PM   #2
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Congrats on loving yourself more! That is so wonderful! Good luck with your guy.
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Old 05-02-2011, 07:37 PM   #3
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That's awesome! I understand how you feel. You are doing GREAT in your weight loss. Keep it up!
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Old 05-02-2011, 09:04 PM   #4
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That is fantastic!! I have a big grin on my face after reading that. Go you!!!
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Old 05-03-2011, 08:12 AM   #5
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Thanks ladies!!
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Old 05-03-2011, 08:31 AM   #6
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Congrats. The definitely is something to celebrate
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Old 05-06-2011, 02:45 AM   #7
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I know exactly how you feel, babe! And that is a huge milestone/epiphany and it sounds like you're well on your way to accepting yourself and that you deserve attention. <3
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