As of June 29th, I am officially 184 pounds, which means I have reached my mini-goal of "weight I can tell people" and I also have lost exactly 2 stone!
But that is a very minimal accomplishment compared to what I have realized today. I have unlocked my own personal key to success at maintenance, and I can't think of anything more valuable. For the first time since I started watching what I eat, today around dinnertime I didn't really "feel" like counting calories for the rest of the day. Now, I didn't end up binging or anything terrible like that. In fact, my calorie goal for today was 2200 and I might not even have gone above that, and if I did, just slightly. But what DID happen is I found myself eating things and kind of mentally erasing them, not really eating them with my upper caloric limit of the day in mind, and kind of treating them like they didn't actually exist. I was eating the food, but if I wasn't writing it down, part of me had an immediate tendency to deny that I had actually eaten that much. And this is not good.
Well now I know! That is exactly how I could destroy maintenance. Now I know what I have to do. I would be sabotaged by all those little extra bites and snacks that "never actually happened." And I would be sitting here, at 3FC again, at 212 pounds. But NOW I KNOW! I KNOW WHAT TO DO! It's not the easiest thing in the world, but I can embrace it, and embrace it now. I need to count calories... for the REST OF MY LIFE. Oh this makes me so happy though. I don't plan to count each thing exactly for the rest of my life, mind you. I plan to get it to where I'm really good and can eyeball everything and get very close approximations and just keep a calorie "number" as I go throughout the day. But nonetheless, I will need this number, and I'll need it for the rest of my life. I will need it because it keeps me accountable, it doesn't let me deny what I am eating and have those "bites that never happened." It doesn't let me deceive myself about how much I am actually eating. It doesn't let me fool myself into thinking I'm in control when I am really not, and it doesn't allow me to ever get fat again.
SO I AM EMBRACING THIS NOW! Maybe I'll shout it on the rooftops. I HAVE TO COUNT CALORIES FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, AND I'M HAPPY ABOUT IT! It means I have hope, it means I have a choice, and I have the power to get thin, and STAY thin, for the rest of my life. But most importantly, it means I understand this NOW, and can come to terms with it now, rather than later after I have gained all my weight back and am trying to lose it again. And I think this is worth much more than the 2 stone I have lost, much much more. I am so greatful that today happened to me and I shall never forget it.
Oh, and I think some progress pics are in order here!
Here's a side-by-side comparison of me before and after I lost the 2 stone:
Here's me today just being happy that I've lost 2 stone: