I've made it ONEderland. Monday's are my weigh-in day and I am down 2 lbs since last week, which brings me to 199 lbs. I am very pleased to have that little 1 in front of my weight. It's been a looong time. Although I can't tell you exactly how long, since I had avoided the scale for close to 15 years prior to my lifestyle change. 199 is a very nice number indeed since I started this venture at 287 lbs. But I've still got a lot of work that needs to be done. I am really looking forward to losing another 12 lbs which will bring my total weightloss to 100lbs. And then there's 175 and 160 and 143 (half of my former self) and then 130 and 125 and who knows........it's all up to me.
Some things I've discovered so far and some random thoughts in no particular order:
-Knowing how or why I let myself get so heavy in the first place is irrelevant. Still not sure as to why I thought it was okay to be so fat. Still not sure why I thought I didn't deserve the chance to have the very best possible life that I can have. Still not sure why I was willing to settle for second best, when first was within my reach. I may never know. You don't need to figure everything out before you make a change.
-I spend a lot less time worrying now. I was always worried when I was 287 lbs. Worried when I had to go to a social event - what would I wear? Would I get a "good" seat? Would I have to stand a lot? What would I wear? I was worried about my children's school functions, some issues as above. Going to a movie was worrisome, would the aisle seat be available and would I be able to get it? Every single party and event brought on tons and tons of anxieties. What if there's folding chairs? Would I break it? Or lawn chairs? Beach chairs? Yup, I was always worried about chairs. I haven't flown for over 13 years due to this fact. For the record I no longer worry about them any more. Then there was the constant worrying about putting myself at increased risk for certain cancers and heart disease and diabetes. I just spent an awful lot of time worrying. Now, not so much. I spend more time doing.
-Clothes shopping is an absolute joy now. I actually cried in a dressing room recently. I became so overwhelmed by the fact that I was in a regular sized store. I simply can not wait to see what it will be like as I get closer to my goal.
-Food was never the enemy, or the scale - it was me the whole time. I was my own worst enemy.
-My old life was full of shame. Being so sedentary and inactive was a big source of embarassment for me. That is no longer the case. The ability to exercise and have movement and activity in one's life is a joy and a blessing.
-I absolutely love how I eat now. I am so proud of my food choices. The healthy foods in normal sized-portions. I was ashamed of how I used to eat. I had to hide it from the world. I felt sneaky and dirty. Just yuck. I can now shout out my eating habits from the rooftops. I eat just as healthy as anyone else, if not more so.
-Collar bones are sexier and prettier then any diamond necklace in the world. Without a doubt!
-It is absolutely possible to reprogram the brain. This new lifestyle is completely ingrained in my brain. It's like I've discovered a new religon or something. And I like it. I've done a complete 180.
-Determination and commitment increases as you go along. Obsession is an added bonus.
-Energy is a wonderful, wonderful thing. And very new to me. I like it.
-I am so lucky to have found 3FC. I have learned a lot from this place.
-I loved food before, I love it now, maybe more so. Though I definitely love myself more.
-Nothing tastes quite as delicious as walking up a flight of stairs without getting winded. Nothing tastes quite as yummy as being able to get off the floor quickly.
-I've given up nothing by giving up the high calorie, high fat, high sugar, high quantity of food. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I have gained
so much in every aspect of my life. There is not one area that has not seen great improvement, socially, physically, mentally. From minor things to major things.
-Food should not be used for consolement, boredom, lonliness, anger, happiness and the such. Remeber it IS possible to reprogram the brain.
-Food was my so called drug of choice. But it was my indeed my choice.
I am the one that chose to eat my way up to 287lbs. I now choose to be healthy and fit and trim and active. We can't change our height (
), our eye color or the weather. We have no control over those things. We most certainly have the control over our weight, maybe not down to the last few pounds or so, but we have control over it for the most part. We have the power. It's always been there. Like Dorothy and her red slippers. She always had the power to get back to Kansas, she just didn't always know it.