Well, I have been a part of this forum and have continued to check in from time to time. Probably should have never left because after having lost 53lbs total...I am up about 20 from where I would like to be. This is what happened with me going on Maintenance for a time, gaining some weight, trying MRC's version of HCG, gaining, then quitting going to MRC all together because I was burnt out of all of the constant weigh ins reminding me that I was clearly not doing well in Maintenance on my own.
It has been 7 months since I left (my journey started in May 2011) and decided to go back last week to the lady I have been with from the start to get the "new" menu and to try to lose 20lbs. A much smaller goal which is nice, but kind of an embarrassing journey up to this point, not to mention the feeling of going back into the center feeling like such a failure. I know that I am not one, that I am human...but those emotions were there nonetheless.
Without making a million excuses, the bottom line is that I need help and am unwilling to allow myself to just continue to gain. I don't know why that accountability peace stays necessary for me but it does. I wish I had it in me alone to do it and do it right daily, but I don't and that is troubling to admit. But it is HARD to lose the weight initially and so I am not willing to gain it all back!
If anyone would like to chime in on this board regarding do overs I would be more than happy to know I am not alone.