Regaining: why do you think you did and what will be difffrent this time - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

camaswa · 10-26-2011, 05:25 PM

I have recently noticed several re-joiners in this board. I myself have been up and down at least 30 pounds multiple times. I am so sick of it, so sick of getting so down on myself and sick of dreading the change of seasons because last years clothes don't fit. Sick of feeling ashamed. Not to mention the money I have spent!

But I can't seem to find a way to maintain. I feel it is important to understand this in order to stop this pattern. On another program I Attended maintenance for over a year! I do exercise (not maniacally), I try to eat well, but...

Is anyone else concerned about why they keep doing this?

milmin2043 · 10-26-2011, 05:37 PM

I think many people regain because maintenance isn't as thrilling as loss. You don't see the daily/weekly changes on the scale or when you look in the mirror. People stop complimenting you constantly on your terrific new body. It just becomes the same old, same old. That's when the work really begins. It really isn't any harder than weight loss, it just takes constant attention to detail and many people lose focus when the rewards are no longer there.
Yes to your question. I worry about it, however I spent a lot of time laying the ground work this time and reading everything I could get my hands on (about maintenance) this time before even starting to lose weight. Before, I always put all of the emphasis on the loss. FINALLY! I realized that it's about a life time of maintenance and so far, so good.

Best wishes on your journey this time and hopefully it will be the last time for us both!

dkmd27 · 10-26-2011, 11:38 PM

If I had the answer I wouldn't have spent the last 28 years trying to figure this out!!! I didn't ever have a problem with weight until my last child was born in 1983!!!! I never lost the baby weight with her, although I had with my other pregnancies. Then at peri-menopause I gained another 30 pounds .... lovely! I've been up and down and up and down .... but I went down the furthest with this program. I think lifetime habits are so hard to break. But I will NEVER give up!! We eat for lots of reasons (that have nothing to do with nutrition or hunger) ... we celebrate with food, we self-medicate with food, we are sad with food, we are social with food, etc. etc. etc.

I think that we all know what to do .... (calories in have to be less than calories burned), but making the choices and doing it is a whole different thing! While a little boring, I have found this program to be the one that fits me best. That's the key, trying to find what works best for you.

Hang in there, don't give up!

bigdog · 10-27-2011, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dkmd27

If I had the answer I wouldn't have spent the last 28 years trying to figure this out!!! I didn't ever have a problem with weight until my last child was born in 1983!!!! I never lost the baby weight with her, although I had with my other pregnancies. Then at peri-menopause I gained another 30 pounds .... lovely! I've been up and down and up and down .... but I went down the furthest with this program. I think lifetime habits are so hard to break. But I will NEVER give up!! We eat for lots of reasons (that have nothing to do with nutrition or hunger) ... we celebrate with food, we self-medicate with food, we are sad with food, we are social with food, etc. etc. etc.

I think that we all know what to do .... (calories in have to be less than calories burned), but making the choices and doing it is a whole different thing! While a little boring, I have found this program to be the one that fits me best. That's the key, trying to find what works best for you.

Hang in there, don't give up!

i've lost and gained the same 20 lbs over and over again! once i reach my goal i go back to my old habits (that was w/ Wt. Watchers) yeah, watch it go up again! after loss! this is my first time w/ MRC and i love this diet. the best thing is with all the protein, i'm not hungry so that's the best thing so less chance of going OP. less carbs so i'm not bloated or craving sugar like i used to. even eating out - i don't have to try to figure out points, but if it's dinner i know i can have 4 oz protein, 8 oz salad or 4 oz cooked veggies and a 40 cal. carb. i was at a point where i gained 35 lbs instead of the usual 20 i gain and lose! whoa. i really thought i would never lose weight again after trying for the last year. the extra protein and less carbs did the trick and i am so thrilled! i do know even though i walk 30-40 min 5 times a week, i need to step the activity up more (being older and slower metabolism) plus i like to exercise and will find the time to do it. i like muscle and want more!!! :-) Good luck everyone and thank you so much for all this advice. you guys are awesome!

camaswa · 10-27-2011, 08:28 PM

These are all great posts! I too like the simplicity of this diet and I like how I feel. Starchy carbs and sugar are just not good for us. My friend was just diagnosed pre-diabetic, not sure what that is, but I thought, that is NOT gonna be me. I have gone back to bad foods in the past- it's so easy to go into denial about it all. But when you read the posts here it's so clear that this is a lifetime change- maintaining takes effort and you have to stay aware of your choices.

discoverjoy · 10-28-2011, 05:31 PM

I can tell a great difference between how hungry I am when I eat a lot of carbs...or the wrong kind of carbs, than when i am on program.

When I am off program I can not feel satisfied. I feel like I need to eat and eat and eat. when I am on, it goes away and I feel okay.

I think it has a lot to do with processed foods and taking in the foods your body was MEANT to have, instead of the poison that everybody tries to feed you.

I am guilty of regaining some myself (6 lbs in 2 weeks -HOLY COW), but I went ape-doody on cereal, pizza...and I can't tell you why. I just knew that every day I ate that stuff I felt like I needed more and I NEVER felt satisfied.

I felt like crap too. No energy - my self esteem barelling downwards...it sucks.

So, I think that maybe instead of thinking of these foods as a diet, think of them as the way you were intended to eat.

Tamikl · 10-29-2011, 05:24 PM

Yes Joy...I like the way you think. Many of the foods we ate were not healthy, nor necessary. Getting my mind around eating to sustain my body...vs. emotional eating, is when I will have true and lasting success

Jadeybaby · 10-30-2011, 02:19 PM

I got down to 152 (not my goal but a significant loss) then my life changed. Over a couple of years I started a new Uni course, I moved away and got a fulltime job. During that time I gained back up to 170 and I think it's because my life changed so significantly in a few short years and I went back to convenience foods, and also, moving to another city I had my few best friends but didn't know anyone - I was lonely and stayed home too down to go out to the gym/exercise and made bad food choices.

Although I regained some weight I did not eat anywhere near as badly as when I was at my highest. The weight gain was not fast either, it was over years. I'm back down to 155/154 now so on track again.

I guess for myself emotionally I turn to food and I wasn't able to deal with big life changes without it, so I had to teach myself again how to get through stuff that I find hard without overeating.

Good luck to everyone else restarting/picking up where they left off!!!

FutureFitMom · 10-30-2011, 02:58 PM

I yo-yo dieted for about 10 years before I finally figured out how to maintain. I maintained my weightloss for two years before having a baby. I finally accepted that it has to be a lifestyle change, not just a diet that I immediately go off and go back to eating whatever I want. I did that for so long and I refuse to do it anymore. My friend's mom said, you are not on a DIEt, but a LIVE-it. I always think about that!

camaswa · 11-04-2011, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FutureFitMom

I yo-yo dieted for about 10 years before I finally figured out how to maintain. I maintained my weightloss for two years before having a baby. I finally accepted that it has to be a lifestyle change, not just a diet that I immediately go off and go back to eating whatever I want. I did that for so long and I refuse to do it anymore. My friend's mom said, you are not on a DIEt, but a LIVE-it. I always think about that!

Good post! I was curious to know if you are combining IF with MRC?

lola06 · 11-04-2011, 06:53 PM

About 4 years ago I lost 100lbs and kept it off for a little over two years, but I ended up regaining most of it back. My regain was a culmination of the perfect storm: my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, I got dumped by the man i thought I would marry, I got a really bad case of plantar fasciitis (that took 2 years to go away) and I was in a car accident, all within the span of about 8 months. I completely fell apart, and I couldn't lean on running and other activities to relieve the stress, so I ate. I also think i just hadn't kept the weight off long enough to sustain the loss.

Now that my body has finally healed for the most part, I'm having a hard time getting started again. The first time I focused heavily on exercise in the beginning, but now I need to take a bit of a different approach. It took me about 7 years to get focused enough to start losing the weight last time, I just hope it doesn't take me that long this time around.

birdfeet · 11-16-2011, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by camaswa

These are all great posts! I too like the simplicity of this diet and I like how I feel. Starchy carbs and sugar are just not good for us. My friend was just diagnosed pre-diabetic, not sure what that is, but I thought, that is NOT gonna be me. I have gone back to bad foods in the past- it's so easy to go into denial about it all. But when you read the posts here it's so clear that this is a lifetime change- maintaining takes effort and you have to stay aware of your choices.

pre diabetes is the first stage. of diabetic world. When in that stage one really has to come to grips with what they are eating,drinking etc,because the next step is diabetes. I have been one for years. Was told time and time again to lose weight etc.Never paid attention. Well now I have lost enough weight that they took me off my med. Now I need to keep up what I am doing and lose the rest I need to.
Love MRC and this site. Thanks people for all your help.

kaplods · 11-16-2011, 01:17 AM

I've been trying to lose weight for most of my life (since my parents put me on my first diet when I was in kindergarten), and mostly failing - mainly because I followed the ineffective patterns I was taught (not by any indivual - but by our entire culture).

I don't think my failure to succeed had anything to do with my motivation, my willpower, or any mental or emotional shortcoming. I failed because all of my role models failed, so failure was built into the system.

While lip service is paid to permanent change, we don't see many people making permanent changes, and we don't treat people as if we expect the changes to be permanent.

When we get close to our goal weight (and often way before then) - people ask us whether we're "done yet."

"You're not still on a diet, are you?"

"Why are you still eating salads, you don't need to lose any more weight?"

"Come on, have some cake, one piece won't hurt..."

There have been thousands (if not millions) of diet books written in the past century - and I've read hundreds of them (maybe even a thousand), but I've only read two on maintenance (Refuse to Regain is the only title I remember - and it's a fabulous book).

Weight Watchers and TOPS (taking off pounds sensibly) both stress life-long "forever" participation, recognizing and rwearding maintenance status. For WW - lifetime membership priviledges, and TOPS with it's KOPS status (keeping off pounds sensibly) and yet, you rarely see the maintainers in the group meetings. The "lifers" are conspicuously absent.

We rarely see the long-term maintainers. Is it because no one ever maintains or is it because as a society we believe that once you reach goal, you don't need help any more? Or is it that once you reach goal, you should go into hiding and never admit to anyone that you ever had a weight problem?

I don't know, I just know that most of what I learned was wrong, and I had to relearn everything.

And one of the things I learned was that I wasn't going to make any more temporary changes. I wasn't going to decide that maintenance was one of those situations in which I'd "cross that bridge when I come to it." I decided I already was on that bridge - that maintenance had to be my goal from the very beginning.

For me, that meant making only changes I was willing to commit to forever, whether or not they resulted in weight loss. Taking that burden off my back has been extraordinary. I don't feel tempted to quit anymore, because there's nothing to quit.

For me, it meant taking every trace of shame out of weight loss. I have absolutely no reason to feel shame for needing, asking, and reaching for help. I'm not "bad" when I don't succeed. And not losing or losing slowly is not failure (it's successful maintenance).

In our culture small or slow losses or stalls are seen as failures every bit (or nearly) as bad as weight gain - so we think "if I'm going to fail anyway, I might as well get to eat what I want."

I'm not afraid of regaining anymore, because I've finally completely grasped the "forever" aspect, and I've embraced shamelessness. I've decided that I will attend my TOPS meeting every week forever. I'm looking forward to acheiving KOPS status - and I'm not going to give up that support system (or this one here at 3FC either) ever. I'm also never going to accept shame ever again.

Shame kept me from seeking and accepting help "forever." I'm no longer afraid to admit that I need and want help forever.

faerychic · 11-16-2011, 12:48 PM

Newbie here........I think I have lost and regained the same 30-40 pounds over the last 10 years at least 4 times (WW, So. Beach, Fat Flush, Slimgenics). I know what my problem is - once I get to my goal weight I seem to think it is okay for me to go back to my old eating habits. I have a bad influence at home.......my significant other is thin and can eat what he wants and I usually give in and eat what he wants (he does not like chicken, fish - meat and potatoes kinda guy). This time around I am NOT GOING TO GIVE IN! I know I will need to continue to journal my food and make good choices.

camaswa · 11-16-2011, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by faerychic

Newbie here........I think I have lost and regained the same 30-40 pounds over the last 10 years at least 4 times (WW, So. Beach, Fat Flush, Slimgenics). I know what my problem is - once I get to my goal weight I seem to think it is okay for me to go back to my old eating habits. I have a bad influence at home.......my significant other is thin and can eat what he wants and I usually give in and eat what he wants (he does not like chicken, fish - meat and potatoes kinda guy). This time around I am NOT GOING TO GIVE IN! I know I will need to continue to journal my food and make good choices.

I have a thin guy too. And he is a runner, too. I most definitely am not. MAintaining is much harder than losing, thats for sure. I know I go into denial and dont weigh myself. This time, I am going to weigh regularly so a five pound gain doesnt turn into a 30 pound gain.

Hey, I just noticed that my starting stats and goal are exactly the same as yours.