Originally Posted by 2salads
Pardon me for saying so but I think now would be a good time to step back and differentiate topics. When we talk about things like rape culture and sexism what we are talking about is about "power". Sometimes it comes in the form of unwanted sexual advances sometimes it comes in the form or bullying or discrimination. But ultimately it is all about power. People who need power will find a way to get it. Education has a lot to do with it actually.
I think the OP is more addressing how women feel about men judging their bodies based on their weight and how that effects your self-esteem and sexuality. Let's be honest, men, you do it. You judge. If you read around you can see very few posters who say their spouses treat them the same no matter what weight they are. That is a rare man and quite a gift. I have not been blessed with such a husband, nor have most women, in my experience. Most women's husbands won't say anything but you know from the comments they make what they really think. And you get the "special treatment " of being different from those other fat ladies because your husband loves you. And if you are single it can be that much worse. Men might be polite to you but will they ask you out on a date if you are not thin or if they are not fat?
I think this is very true. However, I think the reverse is also true. In general, women might be less visually/sexually focused than men, but I think most women still pay attention to looks (or money, the guy's job, etc., whatever happens to be important to the woman). Very few people are truly unselfish.
My husband isn't at all verbally abusive, and he even makes an effort not to offend or hurt feelings, etc., but I still know that he prefers me thinner. I can tell simply by the way he looks at me.
I haven't had any major trauma in my life, and I live in a more conservative town in the Midwest, and my friends/acquaintances are mostly people I know from church. However, I've still experienced cat calls, comments, etc. a few times. It has happened both when I was thin and when I was heavier, but more often when I was thinner.
I personally don't mind male attention, as long as it's respectful. I was told the other day by a kid working at a cashier that I was beautiful. He blushed and stumbled over his words and everything-- who wouldn't love to hear that? However, it's very different if something sexual is said or if it's said in a disrespectful manner or when the threat of danger is involved. Both kinds of attention and comments increase when I'm thinner. However, since they kind of balance each other out, it's not anything that would prevent me from wanting to lose weight. I also don't live in a large city, experience this on a daily basis, or dress in revealing clothes that invite extra attention.
I watched the video link above and found it really disturbing. I also watched another video on facebook along a similar vein, except in this one, the woman was wearing a really revealing outfit with similar results. I know it's not PC to say, but I'm sorry-- if you're wearing something super revealing, why are you surprised to be getting comments? I think there's a fine line between feeling like you have to wear winter clothes in the summer as in the video linked above (which is absolutely NOT okay) and wearing an outfit that makes you look like a hooker while claiming male attention/comments are unfair and sexist. Use some common sense. Would women look at a half naked man (and bolder ones even comment) walking down the street? Of course. The only difference is there's not the same threat of physical violence in the second situation.