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Wife caught me posting...it's mostly women!

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Old 03-30-2013, 10:37 PM   #1
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Default Wife caught me posting...it's mostly women!

Aaargh. I hate people seeing me post on this forum. I don't mind them knowing I am looking at it. I just don't like them knowing what I am reading or writing.

Anyway, she said "it's mostly women!". To which I agreed and explained that men don't talk about their weight loss much. Seemed to be accepted.

But it's true isn't it? There are not many guys here. So what the heck are the fat guys doing? Are most really flying solo without any support?
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Old 03-31-2013, 05:16 AM   #2
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Hmmm. I feel there are a lot of socially constructed reasons for there being a perceived gender-gap (one being a true gender-gap when considering numbers the other a perceived one considering attitudes toward community membership) here. In the end, the truth is we all benefit form community support and their should be no shame in seeking that out, especially not here.

I think because this has become something of a female domain, especially considering the name of the forum itself, an outsider may feel that a man on this page is somehow being voyeuristic. Its up to guys who are on this forum and participating as positive, active, contributing members to speak up about the fact that this is not "just" a forum for women, its a forum for people which just happens to be a particularly safe place for women to get community support without judgement. But because women do find this a safe place to discuss something very personal and difficult does not mean that men should be exiled.

I;m glad your wife didn't give you a hard time. You've made so much progress I feel may have something to do with the community help you have received here.
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Old 03-31-2013, 05:53 AM   #3
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Methinks Bluejaybythesea makes a good point. The real gender-gap is exacerbated by the perceived gender-gap. It is writ that we men don't chat or network about real stuff. Maybe so, maybe not.

But there are a bunch of men about, not always easy to identify. (I chose to have 'Bill' in my avatar to help flag my gender so folks would know.)

I'm glad there are other men here. It helps me to have a support group where I can talk about weight. exercise, and health without boring my real-life friends to tears. It's just so difficult to say, "I didn't eat a Girl Scout Thin Mint cookie today," to a flesh-and-blood person without getting a sarcastic response. And then saying it again the next day. And the next. But it helps me to be open that Girl Scout season is a challenge - especially since so many of my healthy friends buy cookies to support the girls but foist them off on anybody in sight as quickly as possible.

Let us testosterone forth.
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Old 03-31-2013, 10:25 AM   #4
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I hope your wife wasn't offended by you participating here, this forum has been so helpful for you (I think, based on your posts) and your responses on threads has surely helped us.

No one knows my log on name here or that I even go to this site (except my husband but he doesn't read it I don't think). This is my private place to talk about whatever is in my heart about my weightloss and I love having a support system like this that I'd never ever find in my own real life in person, mostly because I am shy, embarrassed and heartbroken about the status of my weight.

And like BillBlueEyes, only a place like this would cheer me on and encourage me and praise me for skipping the Girl Scout cookies or whatever challenge I had at any given time even if it was every single day at 3pm or whatever.

Maybe your wife will think I am a man since I have Elvis in my screenname.

I appreciate all the men's points of view on this forum and am so glad that the 3FC name didn't deter any of you from posting.

And if your wife asks, we aren't a bunch of fat chicks on the prowl for men here.
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Old 03-31-2013, 10:36 AM   #5
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And just for the record the 3FC referred to in the title are the 3 sisters who started 3FC ,I am sure never dreaming how large it would grow.
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Old 03-31-2013, 11:14 AM   #6
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Thanks. There are some real gems here.

BlueJay
Quote:
You've made so much progress I feel may have something to do with the community help you have received here.
Yep, I'm done for if the moderators ban me.

Bill
Quote:
It's just so difficult to say, "I didn't eat a Girl Scout Thin Mint cookie today," to a flesh-and-blood person.


Elvislover
Quote:
And if your wife asks, we aren't a bunch of fat chicks on the prowl for men here.
Yeah, I wouldn't advise it as being the best go-to place for a man if that's on your mind ladies! Introducing Ian, he's severely obese, with high BP and bad cholestoral. What a catch!
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Last edited by IanG : 03-31-2013 at 11:18 AM.
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Old 03-31-2013, 12:03 PM   #7
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So glad that you can have a sense of humor about this whole thing, IAN -- when I first came here, I put the fact that I am married in the first line of my profile for that very reason. I've been here for many years and have never seen an issue come up so far. I'm married first and foremost; and am not cruizing the web for someone. I also do my chatting on the open forum (like 99%), so no-one will get concerned (i.e. my DH). I have assured him of this, and he is not concerned about it at all.

I like the fact that both sexes can come here in a safe and caring community to talk about this subject. It's true that none of us want to bore our friends and families (esp our spouses) with endless details of our WL journies, although most of my friends don't mind talking about it.

Plus, if your wife is really concerned, she could just come in to take a quick look and see for herself how harmless this site really is ...

AND YES, the girl guides are out here with their cookies too. I really wanted to support them when I saw them selling cookies on the street yesterday, but I decided not to for the same reason. In retrospect, I guess that I could have just bought some plain ones for DH as he's not fussy what kind he eats and I am ...
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Old 03-31-2013, 03:12 PM   #8
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Oh god those wreched girl scouts attacked me at work as well. It was like the devil pulling my hair by-way of tag-a-longs toward further obesity. I resisted however. It was very difficult.
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Old 03-31-2013, 03:39 PM   #9
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Yeah. Being fat isn't nearly as taboo for men as it is for women.
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Old 03-31-2013, 03:49 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluejaybythesea View Post
Its up to guys who are on this forum and participating as positive, active, contributing members to speak up about the fact that this is not "just" a forum for women, its a forum for people which just happens to be a particularly safe place for women to get community support without judgement. But because women do find this a safe place to discuss something very personal and difficult does not mean that men should be exiled.
Word. All the posters here (that I've encountered) seem to respect that this a safe space to discuss weight loss, body image issues, and other difficult/personal topics. Honestly, I think it says a lot about the men here that they chose to participate in a forum that's particularly non-threatening and non-judgemental towards women and their bodies.
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Old 03-31-2013, 03:56 PM   #11
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I can see what you mean, Ian. There are way too many "boxes" in society; men shouldn't diet, or need support, or cry, etc. Women should be ultra feminine and know their places, etc. Just way too many stereo types and boxes. I think a lot has stemmed from stern times from long ago, but don't let it discourage you. We are all people; we all have needs and all deserve to have support. Simple as that.
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Old 03-31-2013, 04:03 PM   #12
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You can always make a donation to the GirlScouts and skip the cookies! For years one of the things I missed about living in the UK was lack of GS ThinMints!!!
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Old 03-31-2013, 04:21 PM   #13
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On a tangent, the girl scout cookie freakouts always bugged me because Keebler Fudge Shoppe makes a version of nearly every one, and you can get them year round at most stores.
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Old 03-31-2013, 06:42 PM   #14
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Seems that a lot of men who want to lose weight tend to post in forums like weight lifting or body building forums. I'm not sure why that is. Like, they have to be MACHO while losing weight.

While I'm all for strength training, no one needs to be a body builder to be in shape or to look good.

And, for what it's worth, I love my husband tons and tons and tons. We share nearly everything, but I 'hide' most of my FB posts from him and I don't share my blog posts with him. He can always look if he wants to, but I have private thoughts and "girl talk" on FB, etc and I don't need him reading all that silliness. In that regard, we give each other a lot of privacy - both ways.
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Old 03-31-2013, 09:37 PM   #15
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I don't go to the body building forums because "everyone is an expert" and guys who lift (this is just my perspective) always seem to know the "right" answer and get really pushy about what you "should" do. I think its because for-real body-building is a sport, essentially, and that's how athletes are.

And yeah, I probably will just make a donation... but.. tag-a-longs...
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