I was waiting for this chapter to appear in the discussion because I have a lot to share on Dont Go it Alone. Well, I did - it was hard but for those of you who are in my shoes - it is possible!
First of all, I have to say that my family is overweight - I mean, my parents, sister, my blood relatives. I was always the slimmest in the family. Nevertheless, I ended up overweight when third pregnancy happened when I still carried second pregnancy weight. After delivering my third child, I made this consious decision to lose weight and never look like "mother of 3".
My hubby liked me big. I guess it is because I am very easy going and have tons of friends, while all his friends are my friends first. I guess he felt this unsecurity that his wife might just vanish or what? Anyways, as soon as I start anything, he will always sabotage my efforts.
First I sighned up for gym and he did everything possible to disappear from home so that I can not make it there as I had nobody to leave kids with. Took me half a year to figure out that he probably can benefit from gym membership himself - of course he did not want it but nevertheless he stopped sabotaging my efforts to make it to the gym and started to "worry" that my asthma will act up and I will be sick and end up in the hospital. After switching to highest dose medications to make him happy I gained more weight as it was hormonal medication. Took me 1 year to loose part of extra weight, and I finally stalled on 20 pounds more than I wanted.
So I signed up with Jenny Craig - mainly because I was so unhappy that I could not loose it all by myself. And here my hubby had his best hit - he would whine that he is hungry, he would buy cakes and offer them to me - you name it and he did it... For 6 month I did not listen to him and lost my extra 20 pounds - it took 3 month to loose 18 and 3 month to loose last 2! I was miserable inspite the fact that I looked great!
Surprize-surprize - after reaching my goal my hubby told EVERYBODY how happy he is that his wife looks great - go figure those males!
He still often sabotages my maintenace efforts - like sending kids to the rec room when I am exercising with tapes OR using my bike and leaving it in unusable state the day before I announce that I am going to bike to work, etc. I guess because he is skinny and does not gain weight (he has the same weight as 16 years ago) he wants to ... punish ... me for something?
I dont' know, it was hard to lose weight, it is hard to maintain it - and if you can not make it on your own, and your partner is not supportive - try to find friend/coworker/family member/gym trainer/ instructor - I do not know whom - but don't give up! It is worth it!!!
Advices if you partner sabotages you:
1. Ignore it once, ignore it twice - talk to him/her seriously if he/she persists
2. Don't listen to the: we do not have enough money, you are looking great - unless you are happy at how you look - don't listen to people trying to influence you!
3. Put yourself first - you are the one who is in charge!
4. Worked for me - show him that you can do it inspite him sabotaging you!
5. You can do it on your own - it is just harder!