I have lost weight many times before and gained it back, and usually, EVERYONE knew I was on a diet, and would try to get me to go off of it! My husband would get extremely sick of me talking about food and diet, and friends and relatives would tell me, Just one cookie won't hurt. Well, this time I didn't want anyone in my business!! My weight is my own concern anyway. I have been losing weight, over a fairly long period, and haven't said anything about it to anyone! It has been actually really helpful. Every once in a while someone who hasn't seen me in a while will say, " Have you lost weight?" and I say," Hmm I don't think so. Maybe." Because it takes the pressure off! It's no one's business if I weigh X amount. Obviously my husband noticed after a while that my clothes were hanging off, so I told him, must be because I've been walking more. But when no one thinks I am dieting, no one tries to get me to go off my plan! I eat normal food in smaller portions anyway, so it is much better if I don't have people looking over my shoulder or saying "Is that all you're eating?" It has really made it easier. I think it will be easier going into maintenance too, because just because I am at goal, people will say" you are thin enough, eat more!!" But if they don't know I was TRYING to lose weight, they won't and haven't been food pushing! Anyone else tried this approach?
Last edited by IntuitiveMe : 07-23-2011 at 10:54 AM.
I think it's great what you're doing. Not just because it stops other people focussing on your 'diet' but sounds like it's stopped you being so obsessional about it too - like you say not talking about it all the time. To me this is the difference between being on a diet and adopting a different way of eating for the future. My husband knows I'm being mindful about my eating and today he said "are you allowed to eat bacon?", and I said to him "I'm allowed to eat anything", so I had a couple of slices of bacon. Of course I'm much earlier stages than you.
I'm trying not to be driven or maniacal about my weight loss. In fact I'm trying not to focus so much on weight loss as on eating differently. Weight loss then becomes an indicator of a healthier way of being, but with a healthy approach being the centre of the focus rather than the number on the scale.
Well done - you've really reinforced for me that this calmer approach is the way to go.
Yes! Whenever I make a big hooplah about my diet changes people try to get me off it or try to make me more 'comfortable' by saying one cookie wont hurt etc. But if I don't say anything no one notices anything. Great plan. And knowing you have a forum here is a great outlet and plenty of support. and you're setting a healthy example through what you do, not what you say. Good luck!
Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
I completely agree!! Why do people all of a sudden think they are dieticians when someone goes on a diet!! I am soo sick of people either telling me I don't need to lose weigh (which is clearly not true) or asking if I am eating enough!!
I also find it is easier if no one really knows what I am doing. I was going back and forth whether to tell my boyfriend - but he is generally supportive and never brings it up on his own, I always have to intiate the conversation.
I've found the general advice is "Let everyone know you are on a diet because it makes you accountable." This may work for some, but not all. Not me.
Maybe there is something about our personalities: perhaps we are very private, perhaps we feel we can do a task better when we feel like no one is overseeing it, perhaps not losing or winning will make us feel a sense of shame when we are around others....
I'm glad you wrote this post. I've felt like this for a large portion of my life, but never actually put it into words.
I feel the same way. My husband knows because he is also on the wagon, but other than that I don't say anything about it to anyone. I think it's kind of embarrassing to draw attention to it, and I don't really feel like I have anything to gain by talking to other people about it. I don't want anyone looking me up and down every time they see me to see if what I'm doing is working. Plus, I feel like if I told people and they said, "Oh, yeah, it looks like you've lost weight" it would only be because I had told them I was trying, not because they really noticed. This way, when I get compliments I know it's because I am looking different.
When you say you're on a diet everyone seems to have an opinion. When I told one of the women I work with what I had for lunch one day she looked at me disapprovingly because her idea of a diet is carrot sticks and water, LOL. Other times when I've mentioned what I eat through the day (I'm on WW) they say "You eat all that and still lose weight?" LOL, yes. I think there advantages to not telling people you're trying to lose weight.
I think this is a great idea. I lost a lot of weight, then put about 20 pounds back on. Right now I'm trying to catch things before they get any worse. One thing that has been holding me back from restarting is having to tell everyone all over again. Interestingly most people haven't noticed the weight gain.
I did tell people I had started a tummy exercise routine, and nobody tries to sabotage that! Interesting...they comment all over my food but just seem mildly interested in my crunches!
“If you run, you are a runner. It doesn't matter how fast or how far. It doesn't matter if today is your first day or if you've been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run.” John Bingham.
Definitely!!! I have always been a compulsive overeater type, so I just figured I couldn't say "I'm full." Who would believe me? Then I realized lots of thin folks and normal eaters say they don't want more food because they are full, and it is completely normal!
I hate the pressure of folks knowing I'm trying to lose wt. Forget that! Really, I don't even like to know I'm dieting myself...I like to focus on "I'm trying to eat more veggies" or "I'm trying to exercise more." That just makes so much more sense in a healthy way.
Maintenance range 161-125
Top weight in 2001, maintained in healthy range since 2005
Totally agree with this! As a long time yo-yo dieter, I just hate seeing people I haven't seen in a few months and knowing they'll be remarking on the ups or downs of my weight. Most are too nice to say anything when I've gained, but when I've lost they will say things like, 'I see you've lost weight! Now keep it off this time!" or, if they know I'm dieting they'll say, "Should you be eating that?"
At my best times, I don't talk about it at all and don't even weigh myself. I just make a plan and stick to it.
Yes. This could be me. I'm a yo-yo dieter and hate running in the people I haven't see for a while and being told 'My, you look well' which is usually a euphemism for 'By gum! You've put it all back on again'
I've just started a new diet, and haven't told a soul except my husbad of 40yrs because we are doing it together. No quick fix one this time, just healthy eating and extra exercise
Same here as far as not mentioning it to people. Actually in my own mind, I'm not on a diet. I'm just cleaning up my eating. My husband knows because we're doing it together.
At one point I did casually mention it to a friend that I see for lunch once or twice a month. She always wanted to go to a pasta place and I always had the same salad over and over. A few months ago when we were discussing where to eat, I just mentioned that I was trying to lighten up my eating a bit and suggested another restaurant.
I'm lucky that in times when I was on a diet, friends didn't offer opinions. My mother did -- but that's another story altogether. The issue for me is that it becomes the focus of a lot of conversations and that was uncomfortable. Also, whenever a couple of us were planning to be out, the others always seemed to make a point of wanting to know where we could go so I'd be able to eat. While it was thoughtful, I just didn't want my food choices to be the center of attention.
I've found myself a little annoyed at times by the person in a group who is "on a diet" and makes it the focus of everything. I don't want to be that person.
I love it! You put into words what I've been doing. I never use the word "diet" to anyone, including my hubs. He thinks I'm a little anti-GMO/pro-organic & whole foods crazy anyway. (Funny thing is since I've completely made the switch to real/whole good eating, he's lost weight as well. He was totally amazed last weekend when he got on the scales.)
I finally had to tell him this week that I was watching my caloric intake. He's English and has a thing about eating everything on your plate and gripes when I don't. I told him He was going to have to stop it and start supporting me in my efforts. He was a little dumbfounded, but it's stopped. Anyway, my lab appreciates it
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