This was forwarded to me from a 3fc chicky friend. Thought I'd share!
THE FATTITUDES--I
In the beginning...
In the beginning...God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower,
And spinach, with green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so
Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
> >
Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and
Krispy Kreme. And Satan said: "You want hot fudge with that?" And Man
said: "Yes!" And Woman said: "I'll have one too, with sprinkles." And,
lo, they gained 10 pounds.
> >
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure
that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the
wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from
size 2 to size 14.
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So God said: "Try my fresh green garden salad." And Satan presented
crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side. And Man and
Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
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God then said: "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil
in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut
shrimp, butter-dipped lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak--so big
It needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.
> >
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming
with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthful
skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them in
animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more
pounds.
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God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose
those extra pounds. And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote
control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man
and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started
wearing stretch jogging suits.
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God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and the
99-cent double cheeseburger. Then Satan said: "You want fries with
that?" And Man replied: "Yes! And super size 'em!" And Satan said:
"It is good." And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
> >
God sighed...and created quadruple by-pass surgery. And then...Satan
chuckled and created HMOs.
Fattitudes
