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Weigh In Panic!

 
 
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Old 03-14-2002, 07:26 PM   #1
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Default Weigh In Panic!

I guess I am just looking on thoughts on the subject. I went to weigh in today. (for those who don't know, I am doing the high protein option of weight watchers)

I was waiting on line with two of my good friends to get weighed in and all of a sudden I had this sheer feeling of panic. I said to my friend, and I was truly shocked at how I felt, "I feel like my whole week will be validated by this weigh in!" Isn't that awful!?

Luckily, I lost 4.2 pounds for a total of 15 since Jan. 31st. I am so pleased about the loss but even more pleased that finally (FINALLY) I have control over food and with that control comes a certain sense of freedom.

I talked to not jiff about it and she always has a way of cutting right to the quick and getting right to the point and she said, "peach, you need a life!" In alot of ways she is right but I have a certain compartment in my head that is at the front of my brain that makes losing weight and the freedom from food a priority.

I guess I just need to rationalize that not all weeks will be good and that there will be ups and DOWNS and steady as she goes!

Thanks chicks!
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Old 03-14-2002, 07:50 PM   #2
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Oh Peachie, I know that feeling of scale validation so, so well. Like when everything in life seems to be going so well, but then you get on the scale and it doesn't register a loss and all of the sudden your whole world is at odds. Or the opposite - everything is hopeless and you feel like you'll never be successful when you have an unexpected loss that makes everything seem okey-dokey.

Since I've been at the same weight since Thanksgiving, no matter how hard I've tried, I've had to do a lot of thinking about how the scale and my weight affects my life. Did you read Ms. Sooner's post from a about a week ago about acceptance? It was absolutely brilliant and I suspect that in some ways you're dealing with the same issues. What I liked best about her post is the part about how important it is to have faith and to come to the point where we fundamentally believe that we will lose the weight and keep it off. I think once we all get to that point, where we accept who we are, how our particular bodies work and start having faith in ourselves, the scale becomes less important. It's definitely what I'm working on.

Did any of that make sense?

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Old 03-14-2002, 09:36 PM   #3
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Ladies,

You both make perfect sense, which is why I struggle more with my compulsion to weigh myself than with my compulsion to eat. It is my firm belief that if I could stop weighing myself I would not be overweight. No matter what the scale says I overeat and most of the time I break my "promise" to stay off the perverse thing within a day or two of my decision. My clothes should be enough of an indication how I am progressing and THEY don't make me overeat. That is not enough though, I need to CHECK and the cycle starts all over again.

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Old 03-15-2002, 07:15 AM   #4
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Oh Peachie, I know what you mean about scale fear. When I was going to WW I had the most terrible experience of my life. On the morning before weigh-in, I was so tickled to learn that I had lost 2 lbs on my home scale. I did not eat all day (which was a terrible habit I picked up during my ww days), and when I stepped on the scale that evening, I gained 3 lbs! I was devistated. I cried and said it could not be. I wanted to try their other scale. I felt no one believed me when I told them of my disbelief. I cried quietly to myself throughout the meeting. I was way to focused on that scale and not the success I had all week.

My weight is something that rules my life, I do not live a day that I do not think about it. I am often putting things off expecting that I will do them when I am thin. I even buy clothes in a size medium because that is what I want to be. I need to get a grip!

Needless to say, I dropped out of ww shortly after that disappointing weigh in.

PEACHIE, CONTRATULATIONS TO YOU ON YOUR 15 POUND LOSS, I AM PROUD OF YOU!
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Old 03-15-2002, 09:04 AM   #5
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Dear Secret Admirer,
that just cracks me up!!! Yep! I printed that gem of Sooner's out! On faith: I have faith that the program works. I have faith in myself that I can work the program for the long haul 98% of the time. It is that niggling (is that a word?) 2% that acceptance comes in. Acceptance to the fact that I will not be perfectly on program 100% of the time and that sometimes the planets are just not aligned right. That the one week weigh in is just a snap shot of the moment and depending on what I have eaten, drank, thought (Ha)the night before, or that morning will effect that one snap shot. So....I have to let the rational part of my brain not effect the gut wrenching torment that I felt at that moment. Do you think a lobotomy would help in re arranging my brain pattern? Electric shock?

Still Trying, wish I had a good answer for you. I tried not getting on the scale and going by how my clothes felt. I am pretty darn "fluffy" so it takes a swing of 15-20 pounds for me to even begin to notice. There was a time when I would jump on that darn thing a gazillion time a day. Thankfully those days are behind me and I have gotten to the point where I can use the thing as a tool...well most of the time, and when I am rational I keep looking for that overall downward trend. (another pearl that Sooner sent me BTW)

Jenny, boy do I hear you....but the little guy is home and pulling at my strings...he wants to have a meaning full conversation about throwing up on the "bad guys!" so I will come back when I can!

Jenny, this is not my first go round with ww, but with the help of a few angels along the way...I think I finally "get it" I needed this program for its balance and above all its portion control. I think the last time I went, I weighed in and did not lose and then went back the same week to weigh in because I just KNEW that I had lost. They don't let you weigh in more than once a week and I was devestated! So that was it for me. PLUS I could not get the hang of the higher protein option and ended up eating pasta without protein often and that ended up being an extremely slippery slope for me. ......and then I gained 19 pounds back out of the 40 that I had originally lost on Atkins. YUCK! YUCK ! DOUBLE YUCK!

I do know one thing that sticks in my head that I saw while lurking on another board. It was someone's signature: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" That made me realize that I just HAD to shake things up.

Thanks guys!

peach

Last edited by peach pit : 03-15-2002 at 09:47 AM.
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Old 03-15-2002, 04:31 PM   #6
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PEACH, I 'm so excited: I had that statement printed in big, block letters, above my desk, in my office! I wanted do use it here, but I can barely figure out how to POST! Unfortunately the definition is one that I live out daily. I DO keep making the same mistakes and expect different results. Fortunately this mostly applies to the food/eating/weighing/ patterns. Thanks for the smile.
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Old 03-15-2002, 11:49 PM   #7
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Fascinatin' discussion, ladies.

And I don't know that I can add too much to the already great comments. But...I always gotta jump in when the discussion's this good!

A couple of things...

About the weigh-in willies -- One thing that my WW leader admitted to our meeting one day was there have been studies which show that for some totally inexplicable reason people can get on the scale numerous times thoughout the course of any given day -- w/out eating or drinking or exercising in the meantime -- and their weight will fluctuate POUNDS. I really appreciated her telling us that because it's something I've suspected for years. And that fact alone has take some pressure off me at the scales...some. So -- on any given day our weight is just sort of our weight.

I remember reading a recommendation in one of the low carb books (I think it was CAD or CALP) about weighing daily and then taking a weekly average for comparison to get a more accurate picture of weight loss from week to week. That seems to make logical sense to me AND it can sure take some of the drama out of THE WEIGH IN. But, I guess for some people who are obsessed w/the scale (BTDT -- but not anymore, thanks God), it might not be such a great idea.

To me, weighing is becoming such a relative thing. Both Chickadee and I have lamented our staying the same weight for awhile on these boards (although I must say that I come by my stall quite honestly. I'm playing w/food WAY too much...), but this isn't the first time I've lost the first 20 pounds and gotten stuck. But hopefully it will be the last time, since I'm not quitting, no matter what. But anyway, back to the relative thing -- If I just look (no -- make that WHEN I LOOK... ) at my weight over the past 3 1/2 months (-0 pounds), I feel poopy. But, when I think about my weight over the past 6 months (-20 pounds), I feel not-poopy. So -- if I want to make myself feel poopy, I think in the short term. If I want to make myself feel not-poopy, I think in the longer term. I do remember that my first few months in WW were much more dramatic at the scale for me -- and for awhile I sort of lived in some kind of suspended animation when it came to the rest of my life because the scale thing was BIG. I knew it was TOO BIG -- but I believed that I would settle down after awhile and I did -- not totally, of course, but I don't hold my breath waiting to weigh in like I used to, I'm not going anywhere no matter what and I've listened enough to know that I'm not the only one who's going through this.

I think it started to change for me when I went in w/a 3 1/2 pound gain. This was new for me because in the past if I had gained, I wouldn't show up to weigh in. That day I screwed up all my courage and went. I got on the scales and then I couldn't stop crying (I'm NOT a cryer). The even bigger issue for me than the weight gain was that I'd been bingeing the night before and had been totally incapable of stopping myself...even KNOWING I was going to weigh in the next day. I carried so much shame and fear w/me to the scale -- but I also had decided to see what would happen if I brought my bingeing problem w/me to the meeting. I thought, "Well, they're either going to help me w/this or they won't..." and for the first time I told the truth to the weigh-in girl. You should have seen her face (think: deer caught in the headlights)! She managed to compose herself and set up a private meeting for me w/my leader after the regular meeting. I sat there sobbing (fighting for composure and losing badly) because I couldn't imagine that anyone who was as bad as I was could really truly lose weight and keep it off. So that was my question to her -- I asked her if she'd ever seen anyone as bad as me lose it and keep it off. She looked calmly in my eyes and said, "You're looking at her."

Good enough.

Something else that seems to be changing in me is that now I seem to have greater satisfaction when I have a week that I keep my little commitments to myself (writing down my food and walking all 5 weekdays) and stay the same or even gain at the scale -- than I do on the weeks when I mess up lot and still lose...because it feels cleaner and more honest -- like I've really accomplished something good for my insides as well as my outsides. It's a great feeling to know that I've managed to hang onto my my good decisions for myself for a whole week. This is no small task for me.

Which brings me to one final point -- I read not long ago that most women w/eating disorders are so concerned w/their weight (outsides) because they are basically unhappy w/their insides. They believe that if they can just change the outside, the inside will be happy. I think there is some truth in this for me. Overeating masks all the internal crap that goes on w/my crazy little self and that's why I keep going back to it. (When I'm in the old "I hate me. I'm-never-going-to-get-this-food-thing-right" cycle, I just don't deal w/other problems w/as much clarity. It's the same way when I think, "I SO love me! This-diet-has-saved-my-life-and-now-I'm-so-cool-I-can't-fail" cycle. I suspect a good place to be is somewhere in between those two.) Clean, healthy food is great, but it's pretty hard to hide from my resentments or anger or self-pity or boredom or laziness or guilt when I'm only eating to feed my body. And now, since the "high" of starting a new diet and losing 20 pounds has worn off, I'm left with the much harder work of dealing with the issues of my life and attitude...and to really get honest about that, I have to get more honest about my food...and that is SO NOT FUN!!

We always think it's the fat that makes us unhappy, but I think a lot of times we're unhappy and so we get (or stay) fat...because it's easier and more comfortable than dealing w/all that other crap. It might suck to be fat -- but in a lot of ways it's easier than all the internal work some of us have to do just to become an average weight. Looking at it from that perspective losing weight for me has become a much deeper, harder work of the personality and spirit, as well as the body. But, it does clarify (and validate) for me why it is so @#%^& hard.

When people lose weight and keep it off, most people want to hear what the diet was. I did that for years. But, now, knowing what I know (or think I know!), I want to hear the "other" story -- how they learned to live their lives w/out using food to take the edge off...how they learned to take food and weight issues off center stage and get to the real business of living life the way it's supposed to be lived.

I'm finally out of words!

Nitey nite!

Sooner

ok -- I just re-read this...I hope I don't come across as condescending or w/out hope. The reason I found this thread so good is because I can relate to every person who wrote here. I'm still struggling to find the answers...I hope I don't come across sounding like I think I've found them...I'm still looking but I have such hope that I'm going to get there. They say that hope is always for unseen things, otherwise it wouldn't be hope (or is that faith?). Anyway -- I need to get to bed!

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Old 03-16-2002, 10:22 AM   #8
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Talking Sooner, I couldn't agree more!

I bow to your knowledge, I bow to your experiences, because I have had the same ones. Now, I don't mean to say that we are long lost twins or something, but I have been feeling very poopy about my lack of trying lately. This is how I think of it:

I meet someone who doesn't know me and has never seen me before. I want to make a good impression, but all they see is this fat lady standing there. They don't realize that I'm a LOT less fat than I used to be. They don't know the struggle that is my life, day in and day out. And I want to pull out pictures of myself to prove to them that I am trying, and changing, in tiny little increments. They pass judgement without knowing me. (I got turned down for 18 jobs because of my appearance, and I wasn't applying to be a model, for God's sake!)

So, to validate myself, I go get on the scale to have tangible evidence that I wasn't just kidding myself, that my pants were a little less snug today than they were the last time I put them on. And the scale shows a gain, even a small one pound gain. And I feel like that stranger was right, that I WASN'T trying hard enough, that there is something I could be doing and aren't. (And in my case, this gets me so down I feel like I'll never be up again!) So I go eat a little something to make myself feel better. Then, I feel worse, so I eat a little something else. You see the pattern forming here.

This is something that has to do with my self esteem, and feeling like I should change myself to be more pleasing to others. Since when do I care what others think about me?????? I'm the one I should be trying to change for. But, it doesn't validate my efforts unless someone says, "Are you losing weight?" I make my whole day contingent on whether someone says that to me. Why? I have no idea.

The point, I think I have a point anyway, is that I don't weigh myself anymore. I just threw out the scale. I don't need to jump on there 5 or 10 times a day like I used to. I won't tell you that I'm not having withdrawals, because I am!! But it isn't good for my mental health to be a slave to that thing. Besides, nobody thinks I weigh what I really weigh, so I'm not concerned if the pounds are up or down that day (or minute or second!) so much as the inches are coming off. If I wear a size 10, I don't care if I weigh 150 or 170, so long as the 10 fits well. That is my goal, along with maybe finding out why I'm such a slave to food. Therapy, anyone??
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Old 03-16-2002, 12:59 PM   #9
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WAIT!!

i HAVE to set the record straight... the bottom line message from me to peachie was indeed something along the lines of 'get a life,' but the whole thing was actually more complicated. it's not healthy, head-wise, to step on the scale several times a day or even once a day. the only weight that matters is the once a week number taken at about the same time of day with about the same amount of clothing. everyone's weight fluctuates daily, and that weekly number gives us at least a consistent snapshot.

so, the 'get a life part' actually means trying to do something to get one's mind off of the daily, or several times a day, number. it's a meaningless exercise that makes one crazy. it's all part of the unfortunate food obsession and fear that we all share.

and remember, you've heard all this from a woman who had the gastric bypass, who's been losing an average of two pounds a day [yes, you read that right], and STILL managed to convince herself last week that she'd gained 80 pounds.

good thing i don't own a scale!!!!!
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Old 03-16-2002, 01:02 PM   #10
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and one more thing...

i'm so absolutely proud of peachie for what she's doing. she has lost weight every single week she's been on WW, and she looks terrific. and she has energy. and she's enjoying herself [well, most of the time].

of course, she gives me that LOOK every once in a while, that 'why do you have to be such a smart ***' look. but that's what sisters are for!!!!

ya gotta love 'em.
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start: 506 [Sept 2001]
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current weight: 225
weight for plastic surgery: 200
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Old 03-16-2002, 01:13 PM   #11
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I'm w/you Jiff...I don't say it often enough and I'm a little afraid that all that blabbering I wrote last night might sound like exactly the opposite...I think Peach is ALL THAT!! I'm so proud of her -- she's my hero! (I gotta stop doing the late night writing! I'm pretty sure the world isn't interested in my nocturnal free association. Sorry everybody!)

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Old 03-16-2002, 01:35 PM   #12
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Talking Ok, so I ramble!!

And in my ramblings I forgot what the whole thread was about! Duh!! Anyway, forgive me for forgetting, goes back to the Alzheimer's I was talking about the other day.

I think Jiff and Peach are very lucky to have each other as sisters! I hate all my sisters in some way shape or form.

I think Peach is doing FANTASTIC!!! WW is hard for me, too much counting and not enough sense to do it right. YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!! And I promise not to hate you when you're skinny as a rail!!!!
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Old 03-16-2002, 04:58 PM   #13
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See peach taking out her old granny glasses and balancing them on the tip of her nose. See peach taking out her rusty old red teacher pen from 10,000 years ago. See peach looking over this thread for condedescending and/or offensive comments. See peach throwing away her glasses and tossing her pen in the trash because there are NONE.

[[[[[sigh]]]]] the big kid is crabbing and I have to go but I will come back when I can, when it is calm and peaceful and quiet.

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Old 03-16-2002, 06:49 PM   #14
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Y'all have WAAAY too much insight for me. I'm in awe of the level of self-exploration that goes on here. Seriously. Even (maybe especially) the late night ramblings- you help the rest of us put things into words, or just get us to toss these ideas around-

Can I add my Non-psychological 2 cents?
I like to remind myself, when I am not loosing, that at least I did not GAIN> Maybe that's not much of a goal, but sometimes it's the best I can do. There have been literally years of my life that I have gained regularly, monthly, a few pounds, or even just one or two. When I am maintaining, I have at least turned a corner- and I can focus and loose a bit once in a while. But I am honest with myself, and know that when I am not loosing, it's because I am over eating.

thanks peach, sooner, and everyone- what a gentle touch you all have!

dottie

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Old 03-16-2002, 08:16 PM   #15
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First, Peach, I commend your weight loss!!! 15 pounds is a huge accomplishment! Congratulations!

Second, this thread has really opened my eyes that I am not the only person in the world who feels this way about the scale. It is amazing the power that one tiny little semi-appliance has on a person who is at odds with their eating/weight.

I haven't been using it as much lately (thank God), but I still am drawn to its power. It has the power to make me feel good and the power to destroy my hard work. When I am doing really good and loose, loose, loose I feel more determined than ever to continue with my struggle to get rid of these extra pounds. When I am doing good and get on and it is the same or even MORE, I am miserable. I loose all hope. And, this is over a stupid SCALE!!! I have been obsessed by the number that I have been known to loose track of the lifestyle. I would weigh in the morning, after I pee, before I go to bed, whenever I was walking by it.... it was miserable. And, all for what? Did I really expect to get on it all those times and see it move dramatically? Yes, I think I did.

I think you women and this woe are my saving grace. I don't get on it every minute of every day like I used too. And, lately I'm lucky if I use it once a week. But, the question of why it has so much power over our lives is still there. I hope that eventually it will pass.

Finding the courage to get rid of the scale is really hard. It's moved to the garage for me now, but I can't seem to truly free myself from it.

Thank you for starting this Peach. It really is an inspiration, as are you!
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