3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Looking Good, Feeling Great

Looking Good, Feeling Great Plus to Petite Shopping, the Home Spa, and Beauty Tips for Beautiful Chicks

Looking good for real, or in the head?

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 03-08-2013, 11:46 AM   #1
Stephanie
 
LockItUp's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,221

S/C/G: 236/135-140/More Fit

Height: 5'6"

Default Looking good for real, or in the head?

Bear with me while I try and make this make sense outside of my head.

Does anyone else wonder if they look good to just themselves or actually look good? Like, yes I look a heck of a lot better than I used to, so compared to my former self I look freaking amazing. But do I actually, for real, look good?

I ask because I'm afraid of being one of those people who wears something they really shouldn't be wearing, something that isn't flattering and is actually pretty WRONG for me.

I'm not looking for compliments or reassurance, just wondering if this is relatable to anyone else?

Now, I know when it comes down to it all that matters is what we think of ourselves and if you are confident and are loving your body and your clothes and how you look who cares what anyone else thinks. BUT I don't want people snickering behind my back at my inappropriate clothing choices.

So, whatcha think? Am I alone in this fear or is this pretty common? And how do you know? Or should I just adopt the WHO CARES type of attitude and wear whatever the heck I want and not worry?
__________________
Stephanie
LockItUp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 11:54 AM   #2
Senior Member
 
elvislover324's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,689

S/C/G: 328/171.6/155

Height: 5ft6in

Default

I think I might have the opposite problem so maybe I shouldn't reply here!

I think I dress normal for my weight and am really cautious in how tight or loose my clothes are (too loose, I look like a slob; too tight, no explanation needed!).

It's like I don't feel as good as I look, if that makes any sense? I am wearing mini-goal clothes that I couldn't wait to get into but they just don't look as good as I expected them to.

I think at your height and weight you probably look beautiful in everything that you wear but that could just be me being envious.
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
elvislover324 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 12:18 PM   #3
Melissa
 
berryblondeboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 5,899

Height: 5'6.5"

Default

No, I totally get it. For what it's worth. I think you look great and you have every reason to feel great about how you look.

But I get the "head" stuff.

Just now I was doing zumba at the gym and I could see myself. What do I see? the wrinkly chin from where my double chin used to be (loose skin). My soft jiggly stomach. My jiggly inner thighs THROUGH my shorts. My wobbly arms and the extra pounds I still need to take off.

So, when my husband says, "I got my beautiful wife back." I think, "really? me? With all this... blah!!!???" We are our own worse critics and we focus on the bad things about our bodies. Most people don't do that. They take an overall snapshot with the most concentration on the face. Only weirdo (nasty) people look for flaws...Uhm... people like my mother in law. Which, probably doesn't help me with overcoming my insecurities as she points out things (negative things) that I hadn't even noticed until she had to point them out, "Oh, look, now that you lost weight you can see your stretch marks on the back of your legs." No... you could always see them. Or, "You look straight from behind. You have no waist." Nice, very nice... stuff like that. :-(
__________________
My journey to a healthier lifestyle blog: http://melissaslife42.blogspot.com/



berryblondeboys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 12:25 PM   #4
Heidi
 
newleaf123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 2,966

S/C/G: 204.5/149/153

Height: 5'7"

Default

Totally get it. I use my DH as my litmus test, since I just honestly don't know.
__________________
Original Goal Met



Working on losing some bloat...





newleaf123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 12:28 PM   #5
Melissa
 
berryblondeboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 5,899

Height: 5'6.5"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by newleaf123 View Post
Totally get it. I use my DH as my litmus test, since I just honestly don't know.
Yep... my husband doesn't lie. So, if he says I look good. I must. Knowing that is good to know!
__________________
My journey to a healthier lifestyle blog: http://melissaslife42.blogspot.com/



berryblondeboys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 12:34 PM   #6
I can do this
 
bethFromDayton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 1,161

S/C/G: 230/197/175

Height: 5'2"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by berryblondeboys View Post
. Only weirdo (nasty) people look for flaws...Uhm... people like my mother in law. Which, probably doesn't help me with overcoming my insecurities as she points out things (negative things) that I hadn't even noticed until she had to point them out
Your MIL sounds like a peach. And she's probably one of the people who wouldn't respond to a subtle response such as:

--"Did you just say that out loud? How embarrassing for you"
--"Wow"
--"How kind of you to say so."

and if you said "My weight and appearance are off-limits topics for you", I bet she'd say you were being too sensitive.

At least she raised DH to be wonderful.
__________________
~~
Goal: Back to where I was!
bethFromDayton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 12:40 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
elvislover324's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,689

S/C/G: 328/171.6/155

Height: 5ft6in

Default

I don't know how Melissa can deal with comments like that. I'd be feeding my MIL a knuckle sandwich! Well, not really, but I'd like to. My mother-in-law makes backhanded compliments and now I just stare at her or ignore her. We moved a state away and she thinks she and my FIL are moving near us. I almost lost my eyeballs on the Thanksgiving dinner table. If she moves here, I will move with her son again.
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
elvislover324 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 12:40 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
wannaBfitnessbuff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 377

S/C/G: 190.8/see sig/<165

Height: 5 ft 11

Default

I have definitely had these moments. Right now I am heavier than ever and not so prone to feel like I am looking good in something. (I am working on that though. Even while I am working to lose weight, I need to love myself regardless). But in the past I would lose a like 5 or 10 lbs and feel REALLY good. And I'm not trying to say I didn't look good. But I did have a few times that later in pictures I realized that I was dressing a bit more body hugging or revealing than my smaller size was ready for. For example, before going on vacation last summer I managed to whittle down about 10 lbs. On that trip I busted out some pairs of shorts from my thinner days and some really fitted T shirts. I'm glad that I felt so good about myself that I wanted to wear cloths like that. But now looking at pictures I see that I wasn't quite ready for that size. Something less body hugging would have been more flattering. And since that expericence I think I am hyper sensitive about getting dressed these days.

That being said, you look really good, and while any body (even models) can wear stuff that when they later look at it deem a bit unappropriate, I have a feeling that as long as something fits you comfortably you likely look great in it. You dont seem to need to hide too much and look like you are healthy, slim and fit as far as I can tell.
__________________
Mini Goal # 1
-Started 3/8/13

Re-Start and learn to love myself along the way! 3/8/13
wannaBfitnessbuff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 01:17 PM   #9
Stephanie
 
LockItUp's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,221

S/C/G: 236/135-140/More Fit

Height: 5'6"

Default

Thanks for all the input!

What spurred this is I had to run to the store last night and I already had on some cut off shorts I made the other day for around the house from a pair of jeans that are now way to big, with a tank top. I haven't worn shorts in public since like gradeschool, so while I felt fine in the house, out in public I felt extremely self conscious. I felt like people must be looking at me thinking "wow, that chick should not be wearing shorts". I asked my husband before I left if I should put some pants on, he said no and that I look great. I said please tell me if I ever wear anything I really shouldn't, I really want to know. He said he would, but I feel like maybe he is in fear of his life LOL. I feel so confident at home, I feel like I look good and have nice legs even, but when it comes to feeling that way everywhere I'm not quite there yet. Guess it's something to work on.
__________________
Stephanie
LockItUp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 01:17 PM   #10
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Cali
Posts: 540

S/C/G: SW 228/CW 138/GW 130-150

Height: 5'3.5

Default

I have a hard time discerning my appearance in clothing. Forget about flattering and modern styling. I have a hard time figuring out what suits my current body shape. I have been visiting a fashion forum and they have been helping me find the best formulas for my current body.....been working well.
__________________
FALL 2011: Started running and CC
JUNE 2013 over 83 pounds lost! GOAL!!!!
Next Goal: maintain 90 pounds lost.
dstalksalot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 02:16 PM   #11
Designing my new physique
 
avalonmoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 521

S/C/G: 316

Height: 5'7.5

Default

Stephanie, I agree w/ Heidi. Your hubby will probablly know best and I doubt he'd let you leave home looking all wrong. Although he may be your biggest supporter, at times you might wanna triple check but I'm sure you can count on him. =)
Maybe the shorts had them envious, some women won't wear them until it gets even hotter out .. I think burrr right now to going out in shorts, maybe you,re lucky in a better climate than me .. But your legs are also well toned .. don't let others bother you.
__________________






»»started@316««
avalonmoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 02:21 PM   #12
Senior Member
 
BreathingSpace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 507

S/C/G: 183/166/135

Height: 5'6"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LockItUp View Post
I haven't worn shorts in public since like gradeschool, so while I felt fine in the house, out in public I felt extremely self conscious. I felt like people must be looking at me thinking "wow, that chick should not be wearing shorts".
I totally understand this. I have this fear of shorts, and even when I'm at goal I'm sure I will still feel the same.

But I have to say, from your pictures you should definitely be wearing shorts, all the time, and loving the fact that you can and look great!!! Seriously, you look amazing and your legs look fabulous. There you go, that's seeing you from a stranger's eyes :-)
__________________
"There is simply no way for the scale to accurately measure the most beautiful part of your spirit".

Check out my BLOG here for weight loss woes, yoga and life!

BreathingSpace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 02:50 PM   #13
Senior Member
 
missunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 525

S/C/G: IDK

Height: 5'9

Default

when i leave my house i never go out like a slob, i'm dressed up to a t and when i walk down the street with my head held high and when people stare at me i feel so strong and empowered and in my head i feel like a million dollar baby, even if they think "oh look at that chubby girl, or some other flaw on me. i put this shield around me and i feel awesome, but when i see some other girls who look so much better than me it sometimes breaks my spell and when i'm home i usually have negative thoughts about my body. i need to stop comparing myself to poster girls.
__________________
There is a skinny woman inside of me crying to get out but I shut the b**** up with cookies.
missunshine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 04:18 PM   #14
Trying for normal
 
AlmostMe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: London
Posts: 593

S/C/G: 253/ticker/175

Height: 5'5"

Default

Ha! Melissa - I have a MIL and a mother a bit like that - and a verbally nasty husband. But my H doesn't pick on my appearance - although he is quite honest if an outfit doesn't work!

But in general I think I know what looks good on me and what doesn't.

And like Melissa I think most people don't pick at flaws in other people. Sure some people do and I admit to having negative thoughts about people in particularly ill-judged outfits from time to time, but so what?

Stephanie I can tell from the pics that you don't need to worry about going out in shorts. I'm just jealous that it's warm enough where you live that this is an option for you!!

I have to wear unflattering white shorts on the rugby pitch and I look like crap. Even the girls with great legs and behinds don't look good in them - and us chunky forwards...well, we all look terrible. I remember thinking before I ever dressed out, well...at least everyone else in the front row looks bad. And there are some really attractive women on our team.
__________________


Lose 25lbs by 15 April (10 Mar)
Get to 100 kg (220) by 1 May (7 Apr)
Be 205 by race day - 14 July
One-derland by 1 Sept
AlmostMe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2013, 04:28 PM   #15
Back to Basics!
 
ChickieChicks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,037

S/C/G: 187/127/125

Height: 5' 2.5"

Default

I know exactly what you are saying. The whole, "No seriously...tell me FOR REAL how this looks..." Sometimes I just don't know. Des the outfit go together? D I have too many stretchmarks to wear a bikini?

I won a mental victory this week by getting my belly button pierced. My stomach is and never will be what I want, outside of surgery. I finally decided to just claim it and feel good, instead of that being the spot that always makes me feel like crap. Bt then all the "what ifs" spring up in your mind. "What if I am too old for a belly button ring?" "Too cliche?" "What if I am that chick at the pool that you point at and secretly giggle?"

I have never had confidence issues, so I don't plan to start now. You look great! For real.
__________________


GOAL Photos & Story
ChickieChicks is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Worldly Chicks play in the Ontario leaves for October Madcat Support Groups 307 11-02-2007 09:22 AM
"Every-Day" 21-Day Challenge -- Getting in the habit!! redballoon Support Groups 277 02-10-2007 04:34 AM
CCRRMM at home in the palace ... Amarantha2 Support Groups 522 05-02-2004 08:45 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:06 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2