As one of the moderators here in the Maintainers Forum (Mel is the other ), I often hear from members who aren't at goal yet, read here, and have awesome insights but they don't feel comfortable posting. So I have a message for everyone:
The Maintainers Forum is a place for everyone who's serious about losing weight and keeping it off forever!
It doesn't matter whether or not you're at goal because maintenance starts on Day One of your diet/lifestyle change, not on the day you reach goal. Every pound that you lose is precious and it's a pound that you never want to see it again, right? Is there anything worse than having to RE-lose weight? So much better to lose it once and for all - to maintain every pound lost.
So that's where maintenance enters the picture. Instead of focusing exclusively on losing, why not also focus on maintaining the weight you've already lost? So what if you've only lost ten pounds! Isn't it important to keep them off? That's a HUGE victory! All too often we feel like failures when the scale doesn't go down - do we ever stop to feel like successes because the scale didn't go back UP? In the end, it doesn't matter how fast you lose -- what matters is keeping it off.
Most of us are really, really good at weight loss - heck, we've had enough practice! Personally, I'm so good at weight loss that I've lost several hundred pounds in my life. Ah, but did I keep them off? No, not until this last time and only because now I'm finally realizing that maintenance IS harder than losing. If you don't believe me, ask yourself what you've been most successful doing: losing weight or maintaining a weight loss? How many pounds have you lost in your life? And how many of those have you kept off, hmm?
Everyone focuses on weight loss and hardly anyone talks or writes about maintenance, even though it's the key to the whole weight loss puzzle. You've all heard that 95% of losers eventually regain their lost weight and maybe the reason why is precisely because no one thinks about maintenance while they're losing. They just kinda assume that the weight will stay off once they reach goal - either their bodies will someone magically become immune to weight gain or they think that all their food issues will - poof! - disappear.
Let me assure you that neither of those statements is true! Putting weight back on is ridiculously easy once you're at goal and you're still the same person inside and will have the same eating issues that you've always had, even if you're in a smaller size body. You've got to WORK HARD at maintenance every day; it most emphatically will not take care of itself.
Sorry to be such a bummer, but that's reality. A day in my life today, as a maintainer, doesn't look any different than a day in my life as a loser. Same food, same behaviors, same exercise. Ask yourself how you picture a day in your life a year out from reaching goal - do you see yourself going to the gym, counting calories, and journalling (or whatever it is that you did to lose the weight)? I sure hope so.
My fervent hope is that if people believe it and start thinking about maintenance from Day One, we can beat those horrible odds of 95% regain. If we only can reframe our thinking so that our priority is to keep off every pound lost rather than only focusing on weight loss, we're automatically maintainers from the beginning and learning the skills and tools that we need for permanent weight loss.
And of course, since everyone here at 3FC is a maintainer, everyone is welcome to post here in Maintainers!
As always, thanks for your msg Meg! I really needed that today. For the past couple of weeks I've only lost 1 lb per week and I was a little disappointed this morning when I only saw 1 down (I wanted 2 lbs! ), but my DH told me to see how far I've come, and that he sees the difference in me, both physically and mentally and that he's very proud of me. He also told me not to be a slave of the scale. That I was changing my lifestyle and that my attitude this time was totally different than previous times I tried losing weight. That's a big accomplishment b/c I always had a very poor attitude towards dieting, now I'm different, probably b/c I've come to terms with the fact that I'm serious about losing it, then I have to change the way I've been all my life.
I've read and re-read the maintainers forums and it has opened my eyes BIG time LOL. I know this is it for me, what I'm doing today, I'll be doing 10 yrs from now. And I'm ok with that, I'm not bummed out about it, I'm glad someone is telling it like it is... no, I don't watch Dr. Phil! I guess I had it in the back of my head that I had to stick to it forever, I just wasn't ready to take the 1st step before. Now I'm ready, and even if I fall I'm going to get up and keep going.
Thanks for the inspiration and motivation you give others. I was feeling kind of down b/c of my 1-lb loss this week, then I went to work and I had some pics of me from 5 yrs ago when I was 50 lbs lighter and someone said I looked so good there! What were they trying to tell me, that I look like crap now? I felt like her! LOL
I'm gonna get where I need to get, I don't care how long it takes me. I have wonderful role models here, great support, and definite proof that yes, it IS possible to lose and keep it off. It just takes dedication, patience, and lots of hard work, and I'm ready!
I feel like you are looking me square in the eye as you say this, Meg.
I am listening.
You sure have a knack for knowing just when and what to say. I am listening. I believe everything you wrote.. just hesitate because ... well maybe someday I'll tell you.
If that seat in Maintainers is still warm and available, let's put my name on it.
I have really taken to the view that I should be thinking like a maintainer. The perspectives here are fabulous!!
Sometimes it's depressing to think about having to keep control over what I eat for the rest of my life, but then, I never cry about having to keep control over my finances for the rest of my life. It's just what you do if you don't want to be in debt.
And the loose skin issues were SO depressing when I first read about them. But you know what, I'd rather be thinner and have to deal with that issue than 300 pounds (or more) without the loose skin.
In general, I've found that taking on the mentality of a maintainer NOW is very useful to my weight loss efforts.
I really like your money analogy for weight loss. Our calories need to be budgeted, just like our finances. And no one worries about whether or not they're 'motivated' or 'have the will power' to pay their bills or file their taxes - like you say, it's just something we do.
They even let me stand in a corner and I've been working on the bottom 15 of 40 for about 2 years
They're quite lovely folk, the maintainers. I almost enjoy cardio since I've been hanging out with them.
Meg -- You're so right about the motivation part with the money -- I use it as an analogy for weight loss all the time, but hadn't realized how well the motivation part fit in -- you are so right!
And as I think about my "5 C's of healthy living (below), I realize they apply to finances and budgeting too...
Meg, thank you, thank you for another wise post. I am one who has lurked here and learned much. To be honest, some of what I learned depressed me initially (specifically the "lifestyle change" aspect of successful maintenance) but I am so glad to know it now. I successfully lost weight once before and I gained it all back and then some about two years later. I think I knew then that I had to make a lifestyle change, but 3FC and the maintainers forum have given me tools and inspiration to make a successful lifestyle change. Thank you and thank you to everyone at 3FC.
Recently I was a little down because I was stuck at the same weight since early March. But I maintained that weight! I didn't gain! That is something to celebrate! I would never have thought of it in those terms if not for posts like Meg's. I also learned patience from 3FC; if not for this site, I probably would have given up by now. But patience is rewarded: I noticed a two-pound drop from last week that I am pretty sure is permanent.
My weight loss has been extremely slow. I've lost about 20 pounds since September 2005 and still have 15-20 to go. But I am finding it easier to cope with my slow progress when I think of myself as living a healthy lifestyle. Sure, I'd like to dump these last pounds a lot quicker, but I guess my body will let them go when it's ready. Meanwhile, the best thing I can do is care for my body by feeding it well and moving it regularly. I also changed my focus from losing pounds, something I cannot control, to my behavior, something I can. That is helping because I don't feel like such a failure when the scale moves so slowly.
Heather, I also love your financial analogy! That is a perfect example of a tool I can use to succeed at this lifestyle change! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for being here. Thanks for posting and sharing experience and wisdom. It means a lot to me.
Uh oh, Meg, be careful what you wish for!!! This forum might get flooded now.
I always thought this was off limits to non-maintainers. I always viewed it with red velvet ropes and a menacing-looking, black shade wearing tough guy with a big neon "MEMBERS ONLY" sign.
Okay, so I was wrong. Thank you for clearing that up, Meg.
I also had an epiphany while reading your post. I realized I've never said, "That person isn't a maintainer, I'm skipping her post." I read it anyways. And I've noticed a lot of them say, "I know I'm not a maintainer, but . . . " And their posts are just as helpful and supportive as the lovely maintainers' posts are.
Oh, and I salivate at this forum and I read it faithfully. I just couldn't wait until I got to post my "YAY!! I'm a maintainer" thread. But I'm still looking forward to doing that.
I always thought this was off limits to non-maintainers. I always viewed it with red velvet ropes and a menacing-looking, black shade wearing tough guy with a big neon "MEMBERS ONLY" sign.
Could not have said it better. I felt the same way. I'm 54 yrs. old 315 lbs. and just beginning this journey.
After reading alot of the postings, I have come to realize that I must really look at why I've been dieting since I was 18 yrs. old up to now.
What got me started each time and then what sabotaged me.
There is a plan for me to build of what I want and need to do. I will diffently be reading these postings to help guide me towards the goal I am seeking.
I always thought this was off limits to non-maintainers. I always viewed it with red velvet ropes and a menacing-looking, black shade wearing tough guy with a big neon "MEMBERS ONLY" sign.
Okay, so I was wrong. Thank you for clearing that up, Meg.
I also had an epiphany while reading your post. I realized I've never said, "That person isn't a maintainer, I'm skipping her post." I read it anyways. And I've noticed a lot of them say, "I know I'm not a maintainer, but . . . " And their posts are just as helpful and supportive as the lovely maintainers' posts are.
Oh, and I salivate at this forum and I read it faithfully. I just couldn't wait until I got to post my "YAY!! I'm a maintainer" thread. But I'm still looking forward to doing that.
at the mental image of the tough guy in shades ...
You illustrated my point perfectly when you said that you don't skip over someone's post just because they're a maintainer. There just isn't very much difference between any of us. We're all fighting the same battle, regardless of where we are in our weight loss. I have so much more in common with someone posting here who has 150 pounds to lose than someone in Real Life who's never had a weight problem. We're all working very, very hard toward the same goals. Maintenance doesn't change that and it's not like all of a sudden we can sit back, put our feet up, and relax just because we've reached goal.
Once someone gets to goal, they're going to discover that NOTHING CHANGES. The day after I reached goal was kind of an anticlimax because I got up, ate the same breakfast as always, went to the gym and did the same exercise, came home and logged it all in Fitday ... repeat for four years.
Long ago I realized that I need 3FC now just as much as I did when I was losing. It helps me keep my focus and determination (plus I learn at least three new things every day!) Bet none of YOU are going to leave either just because you reach goal!
I must just be incredibly nosy! I've never thought of anything at 3fc as off limits. I read voraciously ... everything ... I honestly feel that anyone who who has even had a thought about being slimmer and/or healthier has something worthwhile inside them. Something worth sharing and something the rest of us can learn from.
Meg what a gem you are for bringing this to everyone's attention.
The Maintainers Forum Is For Everyone!
), I often hear from members who aren't at goal yet, read here, and have awesome insights but they don't feel comfortable posting. So I have a message for everyone: 
So much better to lose it once and for all - to maintain every pound lost. 
Personally, I'm so good at weight loss that I've lost several hundred pounds in my life. Ah, but did I keep them off? No, not until this last time and only because now I'm finally realizing that maintenance IS harder than losing. If you don't believe me, ask yourself what you've been most successful doing: losing weight or maintaining a weight loss? How many pounds have you lost in your life? And how many of those have you kept off, hmm?
LOL. I know this is it for me, what I'm doing today, I'll be doing 10 yrs from now. And I'm ok with that, I'm not bummed out about it, I'm glad someone is telling it like it is... no, I don't watch Dr. Phil! 
What were they trying to tell me, that I look like crap now? I felt like 
her! 
Meg, that means a lot!
Same as me...HarpoChicoGroucho
at the mental image of the tough guy in shades ... 
We're all working very, very hard toward the same goals. Maintenance doesn't change that and it's not like all of a sudden we can sit back, put our feet up, and relax just because we've reached goal.
